-Eclipse in Edward's Point if View- ~*~"It's more Inevitable than the sun rising in the East." -Alice Cullen Midnight Sun~*~
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Alice was jumping up and down when I pulled into the driveway with the shiny new Porsche. I have to admit that if I didn't have such an odd attachment to my Volvo I would probably get my own. The ride was smooth and powerful and I could feel what it was capable of just at this steady speed.
"Oh my gosh...I love you, I love you"
I came to a stop and Alice flung open my door, her squeal of delight ringing in my ears.
"Calm down Alice" I said laughing as I stood up, she immediately took my seat behind the wheel. "It's not like you didn't already know" I reminded her.
She ignored me and caressed the leather wheel as if it was her first born. "Ahhh, new car smell" she murmured taking a big sniff of air.
"Damn Edward" Emmet's awed voice came from behind me.
I turned to see Carlisle, Jasper and Emmet walking down the front steps, all three of them eyeing the new vehicle to be added to the collection.
"I'd of locked Bella up for you if I was getting something like this in return" he went on.
I glared at him. "That's not what this is for"
He ignored me, now bending over the hood, running his hand over the flawless paint job. "You're having Alice kidnap her and hold her hostage for the next couple of days..." Emmet shrugged "same difference. I would have done it for you"
I rolled my eyes; I didn't see Emmet turning down a chance at some grizzlies for anything.
"Are you ready to go?" Carlisle asked. Unlike the other two he had stopped beside me to admire the car while Jasper had jumped into the passenger seat and Emmet was now making a circle around the car his hand never leaving it.
I took a deep breath;
I was as ready as I'd ever be.
Carlisle, Jasper, and Emmet were going with me to a large reserve in North Carolina. We had heard they were having mountain lion problems and considering I was now way over due for a hunt it seemed like the perfect place to go.
It was just hard to go so far.
Alice had promised me Bella would be here all weekend and that Charlie had already agreed to let her come, under the pretense that I would be gone and Alice wanted to have a "girls" weekend.
I didn't care what Alice had said to allow it, all that mattered was Bella would be here and safe till I returned. And the shiny car Alice was currently sitting in was motive enough for my sister to continue this charade.
"Alright get your grubby paws off I'm going for a spin" Alice said to Emmet, who had now finished his circle and was standing in front of us.
She went to close her door but I caught it before she could. Groaning she looked up at me "Ah, come on Edward I'll be right back....pleeeeaase" she gave me those puppy dog eyes that seemed to melt everyone else's will... but not mine.
"No Alice you have to pick Bella up"
"Okay, Okay" she said quickly jerking on the door, "I'll go right now...just let go"
I chuckled and shook my head "No, you know if you pull up in this Bella's going to be suspicious, just take my Volvo as planned...I promise you your car will be here and safely in the garage when you get back"
She stared at me for a minute, and then sighed giving in. "Fine"
After looking longingly at the steering wheel she grabbed the key and shuffled out, her face a full on pout.
Emmet ruffled her hair chuckling "It's not the end of the world Alice, I promise you" She just continued to sulk and held out her hand for my keys.
"Alright then" Carlisle began "if you want to be back by Saturday Edward we need to hit the road."
I nodded, the tension and anxiety that had been waiting on the edge of my thoughts finally washed over me. I wanted to let Bella know I was leaving early but I knew it would be easier this way. Alice was going to call me as soon as she saw her and I would know she would be safe for the weekend.
I quickly ran to my room and grabbed my bag, I kept reminding myself that it was only two days; just two days and Bella would be here with Alice, Esme, and Rosalie.
Everything would be fine.
Before I ran back out I made a small detour over to my dresser.
Pulling open the top drawer I picked up the small black box, opening the lid.
I stared down at the delicate gold and shiny diamonds.
I yearned for the day my angel would accept this, I wanted more than anything to see it on her finger. I wasn't sure if she would like it, I was still debating on rather or not I should just buy her one, this one was rather old fashion.
Alice however assured me Bella would love it. Though she hadn't actually seen it, she claimed she had a pretty good insight into what Bella liked. I was a little unsure but, for now I would trust her judgment. I would let Bella deicide when the time came.
I wasn't sure why I wanted her to wear this particular ring, I don't remember much about my mother, just flashes and familiar smells.
It was strange at times but Bella would kind of be a reminder of that, a reminder of the human life I was meant to forget. She raised so many buried emotions inside me, so may human things it left my head spinning at times.
Sighing I shut the lid with a snap and placed it back in its place. It would just have to wait till Bella made up her mind...it all fell to the decision of what she wanted most, what she couldn't live without.
Turning around I glanced at the new addition to my room and smiled. The large black and gold bed seemed to go perfect with everything else, as if it were made for this room all along, regardless of the fact its frame was decorated with delicate roses and spiraling vines.
Alice was right the bed was perfect. I couldn't have my angel sleeping on a couch for two days and besides a bed was always more convenient, especially if Bella was going to be spending the night over here more often.
My smile slowly faded.
This was going to be hard, I had tried once already to leave and she had slipped through my fingers. What if it happened again and something went wrong?
I sighed again and ran a hand through my hair.
"It will be fine" I looked up to see Esme standing in the doorway, a soft reassuring smile on her face. "We'll take good care of her" she promised.
I nodded and walked back out of the house towards the garage where Emmet, Jasper, and Carlisle were waiting for me at the jeep.
Alice was pulling out in my Volvo. As she passed I opened my mouth to remind her to call me but she put her hand out the window "Yes, Edward I know" she said in an exasperated voice before I could speak.
We were just reaching the end of Forks when my phone rang.
I quickly put it to my ear.
"She'll be walking out in a couple minutes Edward" Alice said over the loud music playing in the background. It was clear she was making good use of my speakers.
"Good" I sighed in relief
"I hope you're happy because she's going to be furious with me and it's your fault" she said disapprovingly.
"It will be fine, she'll get over it" I said. I didn't care how angry Bella got with me or Alice, at least she would be safe and I had warned her that I would try and stop her from doing anything rash again.
Alice sighed into the phone "Alright, I gotta go"
"Make sure you..."
"Make sure I call you if anything goes wrong or if I see anything suspicious and don't let her out of my sight for one second...Yes Edward I know, a little trust here would be nice" she said aggravated.
"Fine...but please Alice"
Alice must have heard the fear in my voice because her tone became softer, more understanding. "Don't worry Edward; it will be fine I promise. I have a whole list of things lined up, trust me she won't be bored for one second and I'll make sure she has no time to miss you or fret over the dog"
I nodded though I knew she couldn't see me.
"Oh, gotta go..." she said quickly "she's coming out now, tell Jasper I love him, Bye"
Before I could respond she hung up. I sighed and placed the phone back in my pocket. I tried to let her words reassure me a bit, to relieve some of the pressure building in my chest but it didn't work.
The farther away I got the worse I felt.
I began to wonder if a big mountain lion was really worth it.
It was the next day that I got my message. I had just gotten back to the campsite, my hunting finished, and was relishing in the fact that I would be home with Bella the next night, when Emmet threw me my phone.
I quickly snatced from the air.
"You have a message" he said, and I realized he was keeping his thoughts from me.
I raised an eyebrow and turned to Jasper who was doing the same. They both looked like they were doing their best not to laugh. But considering Emmet was visibly shaking under the pressure it wasn't going to be long before it burst forth.
I looked questioning at Carlisle but he just shrugged "I have no idea; all I know is that Bella left you a message last night"
Looking back at the other two "What are you listening to my messages now?" I asked, slightly peeved that they would snoop through my phone.
Jasper just pointed to Emmet who raised his hands "Hey" he said and I could clearly hear the suppressed laughter in his voice "I was curious and besides now you now what it's like to loose some privacy"
I rolled my eyes, it's not like I could cut off his thoughts whenever I wanted to. And did he really think I wanted to hear his thoughts about Rosalie?
I don't think so.
Pushing the button on my phone that would send me to my messages I put it to my ear and waited.
"You are in trouble" Bella's voice was low and hard. Emmet and Jasper finally lost their control and burst into laughter. "Enormous trouble. Angry grizzly bears are going to look tame next to what is waiting for you at home"
That was it.
It was the first message I had ever received from her that didn't say she missed me or loved me. It sounded rather childish I know, but it still hurt a bit.
I closed my phone and placed it in my pocket, taking a seat next to Carlisle, who despite himself was chuckling softly.
Though I could understand why they thought it was funny I couldn't seem to laugh myself.
"Whew Edward, I feel for you man." Emmet said, finally reining in his laughter "If she's as angry as she sounds I don't even want to know what it's going to be like once she's changed... can you imagine it?"
I nearly flinched at his words, it wasn't due to fear, it was just the simple mentioning of what was to come. I hated how easily everyone else could talk about Bella's future damnation. I didn't say anything and apparently the others took that as a warning to just drop the whole thing.
Sighing I got to my feet and walked back into the woods. I didn't want to talk to anyone right now.
I needed to think.
In the last couple of weeks Bella and I had had more arguments than ever and she had now been angry at me more than once.
This wasn't right; we never use to fight like this before.
I could feel someone walking up behind me and I knew, even without turning around it was Carlisle. I could always tell when he was near; there was something that filled the air... that let me know of his presence.
I wasn't quite sure what it was but I had come to the conclusion, after talking to Esme, Emmet, and Rosalie, that it had something to do with the fact that he had been the one to change me... they had said they always felt it too.
His hand fell onto my shoulder.' You okay?"
I nodded and sighed.
‘They were just messing around, you know Emmet. They didn't mean anything'
"I know" I said quietly. I wasn't mad at them I was just aggravated at myself.
"What's wrong?" he asked quietly.
I sighed again. I wasn't sure what to say, I knew I could tell Carlisle anything. He was my father in more ways than one and even now we shared a different bond than the others.
For one I looked up to Carlisle, I suppose like every human son looks up to their father. And I knew from his thoughts I meant a lot more to him than he had ever said out loud, at least to anyone else.
I knew he still felt guilty for the way he changed me, for causing me such needless pain, but he didn't regret it and I didn't blame him.
Once my first fifty years or so of immortality had slipped by I began to realize why Carlisle decided to change me. I could only imagine what my life would have been like if I didn't have him in it. I didn't know what it was like to be alone, against my own will anyway. And he had been alone for so long.
Finding me had changed all that, and even now I knew he still needed my company. I knew from his expression when I had finally returned and from what Alice had told me. My absence -when I had left Bella- had taken a lot out of everybody but especially him.
I was a little surprised to see that my family had slowly began to fall apart under my absence and that had taken its toll on Carlisle. I owed him so much better than that.
And though a part of me knew I should be somewhat resentful towards him, for giving me this life, I couldn't find it in me. And now it was nearly impossible to even think it, because him giving me life all those decades ago led me to now...to the present where my angel existed.
For that I would always be in his debt.
‘You can tell me you know' he went on in his head. I snapped out of my thoughts and nodded.
"Is it Bella?" he asked ‘Okay dumb question I know' he added in his head and I chuckled; who else ever caused these types of reactions out of me?
We sat under a large tree in comfortable silence, he knew I would speak when I was ready and Carlisle was the most patient being I had ever met.
"I'm loosing her Carlisle" I murmured after a while.
‘Why do you think that?'
"Ever since I got back, we..." I paused. We what? We've been more separated? We argue over the same thing over and over again? What?
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, I was frustrated, angry, and the worry that had been steadily growing since I had gotten in the jeep yesterday was about to over flow and make me run on foot back to Forks. I was done hunting anyway, why wait till tomorrow?
‘It sounded to me like Bella was pretty angry with you...why do you think that is?' Carlisle asked patiently.
I glared at him. He knew the answer to that question. "You know why, it's because I made Alice keep her at the house till I got back, made it so she couldn't leave again"
‘Yes' he nodded, ‘but why do you think she was so upset'
I growled "Because she wanted to see the damn dog again this weekend."
My voice was getting louder but I couldn't help it, I had yet to talk to someone about any of this and I could only take so much.
"I heard her on the phone, the very sameday she had returned from there...she actually called him as soon as I left and made plans to see him Saturday"
I jumped to my feet and began pacing. "It's like she doesn't care...like nothing would happen to me if something happened to her, she doesn't understand she's my life, my reason to keep going. I have nothing without her...I can't..." My voice faltered before I went on in a whisper "I can't loose her Carlisle...not again"
‘I think she has a pretty good idea as to what you would do without her, Edward' Carlisle reminded me, thoughts and images of what he had went through when he had heard my plans to go to the Volturi ran through his head.
"I know that" I snapped. "That's not what I meant...okay so it is but... this is different"
I didn't answer, I just continued pacing. I knew why this was different. There were many reasons...
Alice couldn't see her...
I couldn't follow...
Her "friend" was unpredictable and could hurt her in a split second of rage...
And...it was different because...
‘Do you think it's more than mere friendship that drives Bella to want to see Jacob Black?' Carlisle asked.
It was a bit unsettling as it seemed he was the one reading thoughts at the moment instead of me.
I stopped pacing and whipped around to face him, my face full of anger. I glared at him but he didn't look away he just continued to look at me in that calm expression I had always envied deep down.
Why could I never keep calm like that?
I opened my mouth ready to snap at him again, but I couldn't because I knew he was right, I had been thinking the very same thing.
He nodded as if I had answered his question ‘I see'
"But that has nothing to do with it" I said quickly "Even if she was...even if they were..." I couldn't get it out so I went on "It wouldn't matter, he's still a werewolf Carlisle"
‘So is this simply over the fact she wants to hang out with a werewolf?'
"Yes...No...I don't know" I growled in frustration and pinched my nose between my figures.
"All I want is for her to be safe and happy" I whispered. "But the only way she will be happy would be if she can see him again, but if she does that she wouldn't be safe...I can't risk it, anything could happen...it would be different if Alice could see but..."
‘I understand Edward, I too have had my fair share of experience with young werewolves...but do you trust Bella?'
"Of course I do" I snapped again, what kind of question was that?
‘Do you trust her judgment?'
I hesitated, I suppose I did, just not her opinion of what was dangerous or not. "Not when it comes to this" I mumbled reluctantly.
‘Look at it from her point of view for a minute Edward...this may seem a bit harsh but it's true...When you left Bella she didn't just loose the love of her life she lost an entire family..."
My breath rushed out between my teeth and I clamped my eyes closed, this was the last thing I wanted to talk about.
‘I'm sorry, I know how much you hate this subject....believe me it's not my favorite either but it's fact. We all left her and who did she have to turn to?'
I didn't answer so he answered for me
‘Jacob Black and his friends...she found a place she was welcome again, unfortunately it was at the reservation with the pack, but she found it nonetheless ...and now that we are back she's been forced to cut them out to make a decision between us -who she considers her family- and her best friend who helped her through a very difficult time"
He paused a moment before he continued
‘It seems to me that Bella feels as if she owes Jacob a lot'
I nodded, of course Carlisle was right, Ialready knew all this...knew every time I saw that guilty expsression cross her face.
"I really think she cares more for him than even she realizes" I said quietly, voicing my fears for the first time.
‘That may be true' he agreed ‘and it may not, I have no way of knowing, and considering she is the only exception to your gift you have no way of knowing either, at least unless she tells you...has she said anything like that?'
"No" I mummbled, "It's just a feeling... the way she talks about him, she worries a lot and whenever he's mentioned I can see something in her face...something that truly hurts her...I just wish I knew the truth"
‘Like I said I don't know...what I do know is Bella does loves you...I'm one hundred percent positive of that fact and you should never doubt it'
"I don't doubt it...at least not anymore"
We fell silent again and I sat back down next to him, my mind racing.
My inner battle was getting the best of me, two strong things I tried desperately to keep in Bella's life was tearing me apart.
Her happiness and her safety.
It seemed I could no longer have both at the same time.
Right now, at this very moment Bella was out of harms way, she was safe...but she wasn't happy. The only way for her to be happy would be if she could see her friend again...but that would put her in harms way.
So Carlisle was right, it all fell to the issue on whether or not I trusted Bella. Trusted when she told me Jacob would never hurt her.
I knew he wouldn't do it intentionally, I knew what his thoughts were about -and though I still didn't like them- they were far from harming Bella.
And Alice was also right, Bella had spent day after day over there for months and nothing ever happened, at least anything that caused her injury.
Through the storm swirling in my head one thing was clear and visible.
It was impossible to continue on like this...if I kept going and acting the way I was acting Bella would eventually have enough and then what? Was there an actual chance she would leave me?
Perhaps that was good, hell, I knew it would be much better if she loved another, but I was too selfish. Right now regardless of how mad Bella was at me she was still mine and I was hers.
But these constant disagreements and sneaking away was slowly pulling us apart. I couldn't have that; I couldn't keep pulling Bella in two. I had to loosen up, let my guard down.
It was the only way.
I would give Bella what she needed for the time being; after all it wouldn't be much longer before we had to leave this place entirely.
She at least deserved what little time she had left with her human ties, even if said ties weren't exactly human.
I shook my head in disbelief, it was still difficult to comprehend how Bella had managed to befriend of werewolf of all people.
The irony was unnerving and yet so predictable.
What was I going to do with her?
We were finally home and Alice's thoughts assured me Bella was upstairs asleep. I smiled because I was only seconds away from holding her in my arms. I now knew I would never leave like this again, the wait and anxiety just wasn't worth it.
Just before I moved to dash upstairs I felt a small hand grip my arm. I looked down to see Alice staring up at me apprehensively.
‘I need to talk to you...alone'
She was very skillfully hiding the rest of her thoughts from me. I nodded and followed her out. Surprisingly she led me to the garage.
That's when I saw it, the old modeled red motorcycle.
I knew exactly which one it was and was curious as to how it ended up here.
"Why is Bella's bike here?" I asked turning to Alice.
"She rode it back here earlier this evening" she said quietly
Alice took a breath and said quickly "Please don't take my car back Edward, I honesty didn't let her out of my sight but he showed up at school today and it happened so fast I didn't even have a chance to see anything..."
"Alice..." I said trying to stop her babbling, her thoughts were a huge jumble of images and I couldn't focus on just one.
She didn't seem to hear me as she continued on at top speed "I couldn't just stop her in front of everybody...I would have called but you were hunting and I knew you needed to badly and I also knew by the time you got back she would already be home...and she did come back, sooner than last time even... she wasn't hurt or anything. And I..."
"Alice!" I said loudly, this time I got her attention.
"Let me get this straight" I went on in a normal voice "Yesterday at school Jacob showed up and snatched Bella before you could do anything and she came back this evening?"
"Yes" she nodded "But Jacob didn't exactly snatch her, she kind of just jumped onto his bike"
She nodded again
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Did she at least have a helmet?" I murmured
"No" Alice said quietly and a vision of Bella speeding from the parking lot filled her head. "She actually scared me a bit yesterday"
"But she rode her bike back here?"
This time she shrugged "I don't know but she looked pretty upset when she got back." She paused and then walked towards me, her face hard and serious "This needs to stop Edward, it's getting too dangerous...we can't watch her every move and she's getting more and more reckless, she's going to get hurt sooner or later"
She looked into my eyes and finally opened her mind up to me.
Bella was flying down the road ...the rain falling in sheets around her. Her fragile head exposed to elements as her soaked brown hair flew behind her. Her face was pale and I couldn't tell if it was tears or rain drops falling down her cheeks.
I pulled out of the image and stared at Alice. "That's how she got back yesterday" she said sternly "The only reason I didn't do anything when I got the vision was because I could see her coming home, so I knew she wasn't going to crash....at least no thistime"
She took a breath "Don't you see she's going to get herself killed trying to escape us, is it really worth it? So far she's slipped through our fingers twice now and it seems to me her attempts are more dangerous than her actual goal... maybe you should just let her go there every once and a while."
"I know" I sighed and then I smiled down at her.
This took her by complete surprise.
Alice's small dark eyebrows rose up on her forehead as she took a step back
"What?" I asked
"Who are you and what have you done with Edward?"
I chuckled darkly "It's me Alice, I've just realized that once again I've been wrong in what think is right for Bella." I held my hands up as if in surrender "This is me officially caving"
She stared at me with wide eyes her mouth slightly opened.
After a long pause she shook her head slightly her face still full of shock "Have I ever told you Bella is the best thing to ever happen to you?" she murmured.
I smiled "Yes you have, as a matter of fact, many times."
She nodded "Yes well, I'm just reminding you is all"
"Trust me...I already know" I smiled again "Now if you'll excuse I've waited long enough" I slipped by her... my mind already in the house and up the stairs to my room.
"And no Alice I'm not taking your car back, you should know me better than that" I said over my shoulder, answering her silent question.
On the way up the stairs I was once again stopped. This time by Rosalie, she was on her way down her face hard...her thoughts running wild.
Picking up on them I realized she had finally opened up to Bella, finally told her, her story.
This was going to happen sooner or later, I already knew... and in all reality Bella needed to know the real outcomes of her choice.
Rosalie paused on her way down the stairs and stared into my eyes. I didn't say anything, I wasn't mad just a bit apprehensive at the way Bella would take it all.
I may be against Bella being changed so early but not at being changed. As I've said before I am a very selfish creature and I want Bella beside me forever, I want her to become part of this family.
I gave Rosalie a slight nod before I continued on my way.
Finally stopping outside the door to my room I took a deep breath already smelling that sweet aroma.
- Seed of Doubt
- Unwilling to see
- The Right to Know
- Strike One
- Worth It
- Getting Heathcliff
- Curious Uncertainties
- Strike Two
- Not Today
- Getting Heathcliff Part 2
- Self Preservation
- A Change of Plans
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- 06 Jul 08
- 12 Mar 10
- In Progress