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Daunting

Summary:
Daunting Thank you, Marauder by Midnight, for the banner 3rd and last story in the 'Life in Love' series Sequal to 'Possibilities' "This is what we have been waiting for. This was the formidable fight. This was something that I wasn’t sure we were even going to win. Each pair of daunting red eyes stared back at me, filled with hope that they would win. Hoping, just like us, that they would live."


Notes:
Disclaimer-I'm not Stephenie Meyer-end of story


2. Goodbye

Rating 5/5   Word Count 2302   Review this Chapter

I stared up at his face, wanting to reach out and touch it. He was there, in front of me. He wasn’t a dream-he was real. I started to cry quietly, too low for his ears to hear when he was in his human form. It was good that I couldn’t create tears, for it would have given me away.

“What are you doing here?” he asked-and this wasn’t from my Jacob. This was somebody completely different from what I left here. He was harder-he had a thick, unbreakable wall surrounding his heart. His eyes showed pain for the quickest second before he looked down at his feet.

His teeth were clenched together, “Why did you come? To hurt me even more? What-do you want me dead, now? Because I’m that close.” He said coldly. I flinched, taking a step back from him.

“No-Jake, I didn’t-” I began; tears would have been running down my face. He couldn’t see my eyes because they were hidden behind my sunglasses, for if he did he could see the pain that almost made me drop to my knees.

“Save it, Bella. You went and did what you did without even thinking about what it would do to the people that you love- or used to love- here.” He interrupted me, his arms crossed as he finally looked up at me. I nodded slowly,

“I thought about it, Jacob. It wasn’t a last minute decision. People were after me-and I wanted to make a clean break. But Jacob, it just made a break in my heart. I love you. I'm so sorry.” I whispered.

“Then why did you do it? If you loved,” he sneered, “me so much?” he asked. I opened my mouth to talk and shut it. “I knew it would happen sometime-I knew that you wouldn’t want me in your life at some point. And yet I just…I just hoped that maybe…” his voice trailed off.

“There is a true soul mate for everybody. I’m not yours, Jacob. I never was meant to be your girlfriend, your wife. There is somebody else out there. I’m selfish for doing this, I know.” I explained as best as I could. I swallowed another sob as I turned around, “Maybe I shouldn’t have even come.” I whispered, taking a step toward the Volvo.

“No-wait Bella.” He called. I turned around, still about 5 feet away from him. Suddenly I saw my Jacob. “You could have been. You could have been my wife. We could have spent the rest of our lives with each other. You could have had a family. You could have lived. I’m still in love with you, Bella. But now I know that there is no hope-your heart’s not beating. You broke my heart.” He whispered the ending.

“Don’t say that,” I whispered, “don’t say your heart is broken. I want to mend it together-to be there like you were for me. I’m a rotten person, Jake. But how can I fix something that I broke into a million pieces? Jacob-I love you too. But we both have to move on.” I pleaded, taking two steps toward him.

“I can’t lie Bella-my heart is broken. And I’m not sure it will ever be mended back together. I’ve tried to move on-but it hasn’t worked yet.” He said quietly.

“I’m so sorry.” I whispered, letting myself cry in front of him. What was the point of holding it all in?

“Me too.” He said, taking a few steps toward me until his arms were wrapped around me. The sudden warmth felt good on my cold skin-though he flinched when he touched me. The stench was unbearably dog-like. My nose hurt as though it was burning, but I didn’t care. I breathed in deeply anyways, ignoring the pain. I could smell Jacob again, and the smell made me smile. I felt like I was still in high school, visiting the rez; having to be home soon to cook Charlie dinner and to do my homework. Because of the werewolf stench, I didn’t notice his blood at all.

We stayed like that for minutes until he let his arms down.

“I missed you. I was hoping you would come back-though not exactly like this.” He crinkled his nose, “Can I ask you something?” he questioned.

I nodded, “Anything.”

“Why do you have your sunglasses on in Washington?” he pondered.

I groaned quietly, “I knew this would be coming.” I muttered to myself. I inhaled deeply before sliding the sunglasses off of my face. “That’s why.” I mumbled. His mouth dropped open and he took a step back.

“You’re a killer.” He gasped. My eyes got big, and I think that only made things worse.

“No-no Jacob never! My record is as good as Carlisle’s right now! Newborns have bright red eyes their first year because their body feeds on the excess human blood still left in their bodies.” I explained quickly enough for Jacob to still understand.

He breathed a sigh of relief, though still looking cautious. “Maybe it’s best if you put the sunglasses on when we are on the rez.” He suggested.

“Wait-I can go on the rez?” I asked.

“Only with me-since you came all the way here I thought we should talk anyways. It might help the healing process if my questions are answered.” He said. I nodded slowly, putting the sunglasses back on.

“I felt like I never got to talk to you before I left, like I never got to explain anything to you. I suppose that was why I came back.” I explained as we walked towards the direction of the beach.

“Yeah…” his voice trailed off.

“I have a power.” I said lightly to him. Sadness wasn’t something that I liked to feel around Jacob.

He looked curiously at me. “What is it? You can’t read minds too, can you?” he asked warily.

“No-something better, in my opinion. Want to see?” I asked him.

“It won’t hurt, will it?” he asked.

I rolled my eyes, “Gosh, no.” I shook my head, “This is the first time I am going to try and do this-if it doesn’t work I’ll try something else though.” I explained. Would it work if I tried to turn into a werewolf? I’d never tried it on animals before, just vampires and humans. I took a deep breath and focused on Jacob’s reddish brown colored fur and what he looked like.

All of a sudden I felt myself bending over on my hands, now standing on 4 huge legs. I smiled up at him and wagged my tail, laughing (which sounded like coughing but it was the best I could manage). How in the world could they run with such a large body? I was hardly able to manipulate my way through trees when I was my normal self.

“How did you do that!?” he asked me jumping back in surprise. I quickly thought about myself and changed back perfectly.

“I’ve been practicing, though I’ve never tried it on an animal. That’s pretty cool, I have to admit. But you’re not exactly an animal are you? So perhaps it just works on humans…well more or less anyways.” I said to myself.

“You’re a shape shifter?” he asked, his eyes still big.

I nodded.“Yeah I guess you could put it like that.” I shrugged.

“That’s cool.” He said, impressed.

“Thanks. It's nothing though, and sometimes it backfires on me, like when Alice is having trouble figuring out what to wear. She could always just have a vision, but she prefers to use me instead. But I can lose control of it…if I am thinking about somebody to much I find that I automatically turn into them.” I laughed.

“Where do your clothes go when you, you know, shift?” he asked me.

“I don’t know-they just sort of disappear. I have no idea how, I really don’t.” I had never thought about it before. Perhaps it was an illusion that they were gone…I would have to ask Carlisle.

“Lucky.” He muttered-he always had to tie pants to his ankle when he ran.

“Can’t you walk any faster?” I asked, complaining. The beach wasn’t that far ahead and he was taking forever.

“Unless you want me to phase, and I don’t recommend it.” He warned. I sighed unhappily.

“So what have you been…um…doing lately?” I asked him when we finally reaching the beach.

“Watching and patrolling the area.” He shrugged. He left out the rest of it, though I could still hear it- ‘dealing with the thoughts about you and feeling pain from a broken heart every day’. At least he spared my feelings for the moment.

“Anybody new?” I asked him.

“No-nothing. It’s actually been quite boring around here lately-Sam doesn’t think it’s normal. Something big is going to happen-we just don’t know when.” He explained. My eyebrows pushed together in deep concentration. Nobody I knew would come anywhere near here.

“Anything you know that could help us?” he asked me, ‘us’ meaning the pack.

I shook my head, “No-they have been keeping me in the house everyday unless to go…um…camping.” Jacob shuddered, “I have no idea what is going on in the outside world.”

“You mean you snuck out to get here?” he asked, smiling.

“Yeah-if he found out I was down here…”I shuddered.

“So how’d you do it?” he asked eagerly, as we sat down by out tree.

“I made a split decision at the last minute once Alice was far enough away from me to not stop me, once she saw that my future was blank. The whole entire family went up to the mountains, but I insisted on staying home. Alice and Edward were suspicious; I was changing my mind around a lot. But I got out just when none of them could come back in time to stop me.” I explained.

“Nice.” He said, impressed again.

I smiled, “I learn from the best; breaking rules seems to be your fortè.” He smiled with me. My smile disappeared as my cell phone started to vibrate in my pocket. “Oh crap.” I muttered.

“Who says you have to answer?” he asked me.

“If I don’t he’ll come down here himself-that isn’t something that either of us want.” I explained. I flipped my phone open.

“Hello?” I asked.

“Bella! Thank god you are alive. Which means only one thing-you are in La Push.” He said angrily.

“Relax-I’m fine. I’ll be home before its dark.” He growled when I said that.

“Why did you keep this from me? You shouldn’t even be anywhere in that state!” Jacob watched me carefully.

“I kept it from you because I know you would have stopped me.”

“Damn right I would have stopped you-there is nothing stopping those dogs from ripping my wife to pieces! The treaty is off, you know.” He reminded me.

“It was off a long time ago anyway.” I reminded him.

“Bella-I’m not your father so do what you want. Just know that I will be worried sick about you until you get home.” He said to me.

“Okay, I’ll be leaving soon anyway.” I muttered.

“Goodbye.” He said to me and then the line went dead. I shut my cell phone and twisted it around in my hands thoughtfully before stuffing it back into my pocket.

“He’s not happy.” Jacob noted.

I shook my head, “Alice is mad with me too-I used the holes in her vision for my own advantage. And the pack is upset too, I’m guessing.”

“They aren’t too happy-but I’ll deal with them later. I’m just happy to see you, Bella. Maybe this will help me somehow. To have a proper goodbye, you know?” he asked me.

I nodded mutely.

“Was it true about the part that you said on the phone-you know that you were leaving soon?” he asked me.

“I’m afraid so, it’s a 6 hour drive back, and its already three there.” I mumbled.

“Where exactly is ‘there’?” he asked me.

“Denali. I probably shouldn’t have told you that, but I’ll deal with them later.” I shrugged. We talked for a bit longer, and I was surprised it had been 3 hours that I was here.

“I wish you didn’t have to leave so soon. I wish things weren’t the way they are.” He said wistfully. Under his breath I heard him say ‘I wish you picked me’. He forgot I could hear him though.

“Things are the way they are, Jacob. We have to go on. We will both heal eventually.” I told him as we walked reluctantly back to the Volvo.

“You look pretty, Bella-not that you weren’t before, I liked you before a lot more.” He mumbled.

I smiled, “Thanks, Jacob. I think.” I let that one go.

“Take care of Charlie, for me.” I said to him. He nodded.

“I’ll miss you, every day.” He said to me as we finally reached Edward’s car.

“I’ll miss you too; you will always be a part of my heart.” I whispered.

“I love you.” he whispered back.

“I love you too.” I bit my lower lip to try and not cry again.

“Bye, Bella.” And I knew that this would be the last time I ever heard his voice and ever saw his eyes. I hugged him gently, he held me close, kissing my forehead. We shuddered when our skin came in contact with each other. His skin felt like it was burning me almost, and I was probably freezing to him.

“Good bye, Jake.” I backed away slowly and started the Volvo. My foot reluctantly hit the gas pedal. I drove away from him, away from another life. It was over. As I left, I could have sworn a freshly fallen tear was rolling down his cheek.