Who We Are
Sequel to 'What We Become'. Two years have passed since Bella gave birth to the twins. Things have changed, but things have also stayed the same.
Horrors keep coming back to scare Bella, and soon she is afraid to even get lose to Edward. What can happen when you forget what happens most?
AN: So this is a bit of an introduction to the second part of my series. We shall see how this unfolds, and that will tell me whether or not there will be a third part. Sounds good? So, to new readers, it would be wise to go back and read "What We Become." Believe me, you won't be dissapointed.
6. Chapter 6
Rating 5/5 Word Count 1389 Review this Chapter
She said ‘Don’t leave this up to me
to say that I don’t love you anyway.
Just leave it up to me to say goodbye.
We thought It’d last forever, I wish you’d
just remember.’ – Say Goodbye by Theory of a Deadman
Sometimes you just cannot begin to fathom how much can change over a period of time. I mean, I didn’t even notice anymore how everyday Edward’s face would be a little bit more set on leaving. He wasn’t the only one. After what I found in his drawer, I knew he truly did not want to be with me. And I was angry for it. So angry, that I could no longer look at him the same. Edward Cullen had put me through so much over that last year, and it seemed as if it were all for nothing.
I had really believed that he loved me with all his heart, that he loved our children and he wanted us to be a family. It’s not even funny how I’ve been so mislead.
At finding the proof that what I had found was what I theorized, I could barely touch him. But I never spoke of it, and he never knew.
I still made love to him when he asked, but I never opened up to him. The pleasure he gave me only lasted that short time, and then it was over.
I don’t know the exact point when I fell out of love with him. I don’t even know the point where he finally figured out something was wrong. That second part had finally come to conversation over a year later, when he gave me some news.
Edward came home with a few boxes folded up under one arm. I was sitting on the loveseat, a book in my lap, but my eyes every so often shifting to the twins who played together on the floor in front of the television. They were two years old now.
Edward dropped the boxes by the door and began untying his boots. I was only vaguely aware of what he was doing. I didn’t look at him.
“Daddy!” Anne rushed towards her father, arms open and ready. Edward scooped her up
into his arms. I watched their reactions closely. He brought her to eye level, holding her with one arm. He touched her nose.
“How’s my baby, Hmm?” He murmured as she snuggled into his chest. He kissed her forehead tenderly, and then looked at me. I turned away and let my gaze fall back onto my book. “Go play.” He placed Anne’s feet on the ground. She turned around and made her way back to her brother. Her hair, the same copper colour as her father’s, fell down her back in curls. Edward walked past the loveseat and towards the kitchen.
“Dinner is in the fridge.” I said as he passed. He grumbled a response. I watched his back as he opened the refrigerator, took out the cold lasagne and dropped it on the counter. He reached in again, pulling out a beer. I listen as he popped the top off and swallowed most of it, and then his sigh as he pulled it away from his lips and closed the fridge door.
Once I knew he had heated up his food and was sitting down to eat, I sat up slowly and made my way into the kitchen. I stopped by the counter and watched him. The lights of the chandelier were dimmed down and I could see his reflection in the glass patio doors behind him—it’s well after dark. His arm as it rose to his mouth shimmered slightly.
“What are the boxes for?” I asked lightly. Edward didn’t look at me as he answered.
“I thought I’d pack up a few things and move them into storage.”
“What do you mean?”
This time he looked up at me and gave an exaggerated sigh, dropping his fork onto his almost empty plate. The sound of metal against china was oddly loud in the awkward silence that usually followed us.
“I thought I’d empty the spare room and give each of them their own room.” He stood up with his plate and brought it to the sink.
“Do you think they’re old enough for that yet?”
Edward turned around and sized me up it seemed. My head suddenly shuddered and I went dizzy. I had to grab a hold of the counter to keep me standing. I turned away from him and made my way back into the living room, my hand up against my temple. I took in slow breaths and sat stiffly back where I had been before. Henry looked up for a moment, dropped his blocks and came and climbed up into my lap. I rested by head against the back of the couch, but wrapped my arms around him as he laid his cheek against my chest.
It only took a minute before Anne was sliding up into my arms, eager for her share of attention.
Edward walked past again, heading up the stairs. His work uniform, one he had been wearing everyday for almost the last eight months, leaving dust on the carpet. Not I or any of his family could stop him from quitting school. The only person who could get him to keep it up half time was his brother. Emmett would have probably beaten it into him until he did. Edward’s complaining of “School doesn’t put food on the table” didn’t work.
My heartbeat started to pick up and I stood, placing the twins back on the ground lightly. I knew what was going to come next. The twins began playing again. I heard
Edward as he came back down the stairs.
“What’s going on?” He asked from behind me, his voice low.
“Nothing.” I murmured turning around. He had a look of frustration on his face.
“God damn it, Bella. This doesn’t look like nothing!” His voice grew as he threw the suitcase on the floor.
“Hush.” I whispered, taking a step away. He followed me to the edge of the hallway.
“Bella.” He said.
“Edward. I – I can’t do it anymore. I can’t.” I shook my head and looked away. “I’m leaving you, Edward.” His face crossed from surprise, to anger and then to fear. He grabbed my shoulders.
“You can’t do this Bella. Everything I do, I do for you. Can’t you see that?” He looked terrified.
“Edward, it’s been too long. You broke my heart a long time ago, and now I’ve been trying to pick up the pieces. Nothing works. Nothing has. I found something the Christmas before last. A key.”
“A key? What the hell, Bella!?”
“I found where it went.” I murmured, looking away from him.
“You did?” He seemed to figure out what I was talking about. “If you think I’m cheating on you, I—“
“No. Edward. I know you haven’t. Not yet. But you don’t love me anymore.”
“What? Bella... Bella.”
“No. Just let me go Edward.” I started to walk away. “We’ll be gone tomorrow morning.” I breathed. He grabbed me from behind and twirled me up against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me. I could feel him shaking.
“I love you, Bella. Please don’t take them. Please don’t leave me. I love you. I love you.” He cried, sliding down so his arms were around my waist.“What do you want me to do?" Edward asked me, his hand barely skimming the skin of my shoulder. I sighed and looked away at everything around us. At the twins as they played lightly on the floor together, building blocks scattered all over the floor. At the suitcase lying on the floor. One of many to leave. And then I look back at Edward, his work uniform covered in dust, his hair just the same. He's looking at me as if I need to say something now to make him believe me. When really, it's what I need to here that will convince me to stay.
"I don't know. I just can’t stay like this Edward.”
“Don’t you love me?”
“I... I... I don’t think so. Not anymore.” I choke back a sob and disentangle him from around me. I turn and run for the stairs, but I don’t make it. My sight goes entirely black. I cry out as the pain in my head engulfs me. I fall to the hard ground, my head splitting on the bottom stair.
“Mommy!” “Bella!” But I hear nothing.
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- 09 Jul 08
- 22 Nov 08