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Who We Are

Summary:
Sequel to 'What We Become'. Two years have passed since Bella gave birth to the twins. Things have changed, but things have also stayed the same.
Horrors keep coming back to scare Bella, and soon she is afraid to even get lose to Edward. What can happen when you forget what happens most?


Notes:
AN: So this is a bit of an introduction to the second part of my series. We shall see how this unfolds, and that will tell me whether or not there will be a third part. Sounds good? So, to new readers, it would be wise to go back and read "What We Become." Believe me, you won't be dissapointed.


8. Chapter 8

Rating 5/5   Word Count 976   Review this Chapter

I couldn't make this up
I have been out done by my own kind
I always traded up
now I'm the victim for the first time
And I can't pretend I'm not over the edge
Woah, Baby what do you know?
You turned the tables on me didn't you?
My, My, My it only serves me right
Now I get it
This is how hurt feels
And it's everything they say it is...
This is how a heart breaks
And it's all it's cracked up to be

Chapter 8

It was like I wasn't myself anymore. I always knew something was wrong with me, but I didn't know it was this bad. I wouldn't let anyone but Carlisle tell me what was happening. And I made sure Jasper was there to use his uncanny ability to calm me down. Edward wasn't there.

I remember every last detail of what happened before I passed out. The highest point was when my headache from that day, the one that had sent me on momentary dizzy spins, turned into a full out migraine. The worst that could be, because it sent my skull shaking, cracking it felt and I spun out of control. Then I smelt the blood. I could smell it when I woke up too. That's because my head had a wound in it. From when my head hit the stairs, the nurse had told me.

I could still feel it now and there was a hazy line surrounding my vision. I couldn't see clearly. I kept the hand that wasn't the new home to a really big needle, and let it rest across my forehead. The painkillers had taken out the worst of it and I could feel it edging away into the back of my mind. And then the images came. The ones of myself, alone, without Edward or the twins. Without Alice and Jasper and Rosalie and the rest of my family. I was alone in a room completely black. Is that what will happen to me? Was I going to end up alone, unwanted, unable to keep myself alive? Was this death?

How much longer did I truly have left to live?

I wiped a tear away from my face before Edward came around the corner and met my gaze. I let my gaze travel over my husband as he stood at the door to my hospital room.

"Hi." I whispered timidly. He smiled courageously.

"Hi."

"Am I going to die?" I whispered, choking on my tears.

"God, I hope not." He murmured, coming into the room. I wrapped my arms around his neck and sobbed.

"I don't want to die..." I whispered as he kissed away the tears from my cheeks.

"I'm sorry." Edward whispered. "For before. For the past two years. For all of it. I'm sorry."

I took in a deep breath. "I know." I murmured, letting go of him.

...

I lifted my hand palm up and entwined my fingers with Jasper's. He had his arm around my shoulders, his hand resting over me. He tightened his hold on me, and I curled deeper into his side. This was my favourite place. This was where I fit perfectly. Like sculpted puzzle pieces, we were made to fit together. Jasper's flannel shirt tickled my cheek so I brought up my other hand, unbuttoned his shirt and rested my face against his bare chest. I felt him as he reacted to our skins contact.

"How much do you love me?" I whispered. He rested his face against my hair. I closed my eyes and waited.

"More than my own life." He murmured. I smiled and we sat in silence for a long while. Until the telephone rang. "Leave it." Jasper grunted. I was willing to oblige as I turned my legs so that we were in the centre of his bed. I rolled on top of him and he wound his arms around my waist. We both sighed when the ringing stopped, and I let my lips find refuge in the contours of his neck. I couldn't help but burst out giggling when Jasper's cell phone began to vibrate in his front pocket. I sat up so he could grab his phone. I waited, my thighs around his, as he answered.

"Hello?" He asked huskily, not taking his eyes off mine. "Yeah she is why?" My eyebrows came together. "Oh." He breathed, sitting up and sliding me into his lap. "I'll tell her. .. Okay... See you in a bit I guess.."

"Who was that?" I asked curiously. "My dad?" He nodded.

"Bella's in the hospital."

...

This is how it was going to work. I had two options. The first one was to go home and let nature take its course. This basically meant that God would let what happen... happen. I didn't know if I could really face that option knowing that I could come away alive and healthy.

The second option was the hardest to make. There was a surgery that I could have. It wasn't an easy one. Carlisle said, with an emotion in his eyes that I didn;t understand, that there was a 70 percent chance that I wouldn't come out alive.

How could I face that?

How could I make that decision?

What about Henry and Anna? What would happen to them if I died? I know they would be safe, but would they cry for me?

I guess I could only do what was really the only answer I could truly live with.

I turned my head and looked my father-in-law in the face, tightening my hold on his hand. "I'll do the surgery." I whispered.

I turned to see Edward crying at the door. I had to suck in a breath as I held out my other arm for him and he came towards me.