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Life is a Wheel of Fate

Summary:
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Twilight. That all belongs to Stephenie Meyer. What if Bella answered the phone instead of Jacob when Edward called in New Moon


Notes:
This is my first fan fiction.


8. I love you!

Rating 0/5   Word Count 1844   Review this Chapter

Bella’s P.O.V.

“Charlie! She’ll get Charlie!”

“What? What are you talking about? Who will get Charlie?” Edward asked, confused and anxious.

“Victoria! Charlie’s there. She’ll kill him! I can’t let her do that! You have to take-”

“Victoria?” Edward growled in rage. “Victoria’s here?”

I was confused to see he didn’t know this since she was at my house.

“Yes! And she’s at my house right now! So is Charlie! You have to take me back!”

“How do you know she’s at your house? And what are you talking about Charlie being there?”

“You said it wasn’t safe. And Charlie’s car is parked in the driveway.” He was supposed to be the genius with extra senses and everything. So why was he so confused? Suddenly understanding took over his face.

“Victoria and Charlie aren’t there.”

“They aren’t?”

“No.”

“But… then… why did you say it wasn’t safe? And who’s car is that?”

“There are other unsafe creatures out there besides vampires, Bella.” By this time we were parked in front of his house.

I tried to think hard about what he could be talking about. Finally I realized who’s car that was in my driveway.

“Jake! Jake’s at my house!”

“What? Jake? Jacob Black?” I nodded. “Why do you think Jake isn’t safe?”

“He’s a werewolf. He told me it wasn’t that safe to be around him.”

“You know about werewolves?”

“Yes. They’re the reason why Victoria hasn’t gotten me already. And why Laurent is dead.” A look of horror took over Edward‘s face..

“Laurent was here, too?!?!”

“Yes, but they killed him. They saved me. You have to take me back to my house!”

“No.”

“Why not?” I was starting to get angry that he wouldn’t take me back because of Jake.

“Like I said. It isn’t safe.”

“How is being around Jacob not safe?”

“He’s a werewolf!” Edward explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“So what?” I yelled back. “I’ve been hanging out with him for the past few months! Even when he was a werewolf! And as you can see, I’m perfectly fine.” Well, perfectly fine as in the werewolves didn’t hurt me. But I wasn’t perfectly fine. I hadn’t been since Edward left. But I wasn’t going to tell him that.

“You’ve been hanging around the werewolves?!?!” Edward roared, full of horror and rage. “You really are a danger magnet Bella. I leave to keep you safe, but you only find more danger. I should have never left in the first place. It didn’t do you any good. It didn’t do any of us any good.”

So Alice was telling the truth. Edward did only leave to keep me safe. I was so relieved to find this out. But wait. What if he left to keep me safe, but also because he didn’t love me anymore. What if Alice was lying about that part just so she wouldn‘t hurt me. After all, it never made sense for him to love me. That idea threatened to tear the hole that had been closed since I saw him today, open. I didn’t want that to happen. But I had to find out the truth once and for all. I had to face what could be one of my worst fears… again. I had to ask him even though I already knew what the answer probably was.

“So you did only leave me to keep me safe?”

This question seemed to catch him off guard.

“What? Yes. Of course.” Then he seemed to remember something. “You really did believe I didn’t love you anymore, didn’t you?”

He seemed to take my silence as a yes.

“No, Bella. That was a lie. It was a huge lie. One of the worst lies that could ever be told.”

I stayed silent. I couldn’t believe it. How could I? How could I believe that this beautiful angel next to me really loved someone as average and ordinary as me. It was impossible. He seemed to see that I wasn’t believing it.

“You don’t believe me do you? Ugh! Why can you believe a lie but not the truth? I’m a good liar, Bella, I have to be. But still, for you to have believed me so quickly. That was excruciating. After all the times I’ve told you I love you, how could you let one word make you stop believing? Tell me.”

Finally I spoke. “It never made any sense for you to love me. I always knew that. I’m just an average human, and you’re, well, you,” I said, gesturing to myself and then to him.

“You aren’t just an average human, Bella. You’re beautiful, funny, anything but average. I love you!”

I laughed. Not just because he was absurd to think that I was beautiful and funny and anything but average, but also because that was exactly what Alice had said. Well, not exactly. But still.

“What’s so funny?” Edward demanded.

“That’s exactly what Alice said.”

“Because it’s true. I love you Bella! Please believe that.”

I stayed silent. I still couldn’t believe that Edward loved me, belonged to me. I didn’t deserve him. He was too good to be mine. Edward seemed to hear this in my silence.

“You don’t believe me, do you? Ugh! How can I put it so that you can see that I’m telling you the truth? So you can see how much I love you?” He paused for a moment, thinking. “Before you, my life was like a moonless night. It was dark, but there were stars- points of light and reason. Then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly, everything was on fire. There was brilliancy and beauty. But when you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. I was blinded by the light and couldn’t see the stars anymore. There was no reason for anything.”

I still couldn’t believe him. This was my life without him he was describing. Not the other way around.

“You’re eyes will adjust.”

“They can’t.” He paused to study my face “You still don’t believe me, do you? I left to keep you safe. I could see what I was doing to you. Putting you in constant danger every time I was around you. I had to try to keep you safe. So I left. When I was telling you goodbye in the woods- do you remember?”

I nodded my head but did not allow myself to remember. I kept myself in the present second.

“I could see you weren’t going to let go. I didn’t want to do it- it seemed like it would kill me to do it- but I thought that if I couldn’t convince you that I moved on, it would take you that much longer for you to move on. I lied to keep you safe, and it didn’t work. I’m sorry.” He paused to study me again. To see if I was believing it. I didn’t know what to think. Was he telling the truth? I didn’t know.

“I’ll prove to you that I’m not lying.” He took my face firmly in his hands and leaned toward me, ignoring my pulling to get out of his grasp.

“Please don’t,” I whispered when he was lees than an inch away from my lips.

“Why not?” he demanded.

“When you leave again, it will be just that much harder without this, too.”

“I’m not leaving you again! I can’t. I wish you would see that I can’t live without you. Before Rosalie told me that you died, I was done trying to live through one week at a time. Not even one day. I was struggling to make it through one hour. When I called to make sure you hadn’t died and heard your voice, I knew I couldn’t stay away any longer. I love you Bella. I have always loved and I will always love you. Don’t you love me, too?”

“What kind of an idiotic question is that?”

“Just answer it.”

“The way I feel about you will never change. Of course I love you and there is nothing you can do about it!”

“That’s all I needed to hear.” His mouth was on mine then, and I couldn‘t fight him. Not because he was so many thousand times stronger than me, but because my will vanished the moment his lips touched mine. So I kissed him back.

When he pulled back so that I could breath, he put his head to my heart.

“By the way, I’m not leaving. Not without you. I can’t stand to be away from you.”

“Don’t promise me anything.”

“You think I’m lying to you now?” he demanded, outraged.

“No, not lying. You could mean it now. But what about when you start thinking about all the reasons you left me in the first place? Or next month, when Jasper takes a snap at me?” He flinched at that last part. “I mean, you had to have thought about it before you left me last time. You‘ll end up doing what you think is right.”

“Right and wrong have ceased to mean much to me anymore. I can not and will not leave you again.”

No matter what he said, I did not allow myself to hope. Hoping could only get me hurt.

“Can you take me home now?” I asked. I needed to see Jake. I hadn’t talked to him since Edward called.

“No.”

“Why not? It’s just Jake!”

“He’s a werewolf, Bella!”

“And you’re a vampire! So what?” I wish I hadn’t said that when I saw the look on his face. It was a look of hurt and sadness. “Edward, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No. It’s okay. But Bella, he is more dangerous to be around than me.”

“And how is that?”

“He’s a young werewolf. He doesn’t have as much control.”

“He has pretty good control. I’ve been around him a lot and he has never once lost it and phased.” I stumbled over the last part, remembering the fight he and Paul had when I first found out. Edward seemed to see what I was thinking.

“I thought so.”

“It was only so I wouldn’t get hurt.”

“He phased near you so you wouldn’t get hurt?”

“Yes.”

“And how is that?”

“He did it to stop one of the others. He lost control because Jake told their secret.”

“Exactly. If they phase over something as little as that, think of how much danger you’d be in if something really bad happened.”

“Jacob would never hurt me.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I trust Jake. He wouldn’t do that. He has had many reasons in the past to phase and he hasn’t. Please take me home.”

“I’m not leaving you alone with him!”

“Very well. You can be there, too,” I told him. That suited me fine. I didn’t want to leave Edward’s side. It had been months since I’d seen him, and since he was already here I might as well spend as much time with him as possible in case he leaves again.

“I’m not sure that would be the best idea. He might lose control seeing me.” He had a point.

“I want to go home, Edward. I need to talk to Jacob.”

“Fine. But I’m going with you.”

“But you just said-”

“I’m not letting you be alone with him. It’s too dangerous.”

I thought he was being absurd, but dropped it. At least he was taking me back.