In His Shoes: Mike Newton's Tale
this is a close up on mike newton's life so far, his love for bella (gag), his stalking of bella *shudder*, his cullen-disses (how dare he!), his fat brother and 1/2 normal sister, and what he watches on tv (which i'm not telling u, u have 2 read it *cough* High School Musical *cough*) rated teen for acohol refrence and some subject matter that may not compute for little peoples (and, no, i do NOT mean ompa loompas)
1. Chapter 1
Rating 5/5 Word Count 1352 Review this Chapter
In His Shoes:
Mike Newton’s Tale
It had been over a year since Bella Swan came to our school.
It had been over a month since Edward Cullen came back.
And I was in love.
“What the crap, Mike.” my little brother, Kevin said.
I grabbed the paper from him. “Shut up fatty. Stop reading my freakin’ diary, Gosh! Don’t I get any privacy in this crap hole?” I whined.
“I’m not a fatty! You’re the stupid dork face retard!” Kevin yelled at me, then kicked me real hard in my stomach.
“DEMON CHILD!!!!!” I scream as he waddled out the door.
I was about to pursue and/or strangle him for dissing what I wrote in my pink Barbie diary that I got from Santa last Christmas, but I saw High School Musical on the TV.
“Ohmygosh!” I squealed. “I love you, Troy!”
Wait, that was weird. I don’t love Zac Efron, I love Bella. But she had to chose stupid Edward Cullen. Or should I say Colon! Ha, that’s a good one! I squealed with glee and wrote my newest Cullen-Diss in my diary. Ooo, that was a burn, Edward! You might need some ice for that! Ha!
I put down my diary as We’re All In This Together came on. I jumped up and did the wonderfully choreographed dance moves in front of the TV and sang along perfectly.
“MIKE, I’M ON THE PHONE!” my stupid know-it-all sister scream from upstairs. I guess she couldn’t see talent even if it was dancing downstairs in front of the television.
“SHUT UP, GABBY!” I scream back, twirling along with Ryan.
“UGH!” I heard her sigh with defeat. Oh yeah, score 1 for Mike! Woo Hoo!
The song ended and I plopped down on the couch and tried to watch the rest of the movie in peace.
Unfortunately, my turd ball brother came back and started flicking my ear.
“Stop it Kevin! Your so annoying!” I complained, trying to attack him with my tiger-like reflexes.
I missed his arm for the 6th time and ended up smacking myself in the ear.
“Ow! You freakin’ moron, you made me hit myself! I’m going to rip your guts out!” I shouted in his face, then jumped up and started chasing Kevin, who isn’t fast at all.
“Aha!” I yelled as I tackled him.
Then, I heard the worst sound ever.
“Gosh dang it, Kevin, you broke my nail!”
Kevin stared at me like I was insane, then started laughing so hard that he fell on the floor.
“This is not funny Kevin.” I scolded him. Did I normally sound that gay?
Kevin didn’t stop laughing.
“Ugh.” I sighed, examining the damage on my previously perfect manicured nail covered with a translucent pink polish.
Kevin continued laughing on the floor.
“Kevin, I’m serious. This is my favorite nail.” I said, looking up from my destroyed nail.
Kevin kept on laughing.
“Kevin. If you do not stop laughing, I will seriously injure you!” I threatened.
Kevin stopped laughing and looked up at me.
“What?” I asked as an evil gleam appeared in his eye.
Kevin jumped up and smashed my other nail on my right hand.
The white part of my French manicure fell off.
“Oh no you didn’t.” I said, putting my undamaged-nail hand on my hip.
Kevin smiled evilly.
“Ugh.” I sighed, then pulled out my miniature flame-thrower that I keep in my pocket with my pink nail file and aimed at his ear.
“AHHHHH! MIKE’S GOING TO KILL ME!” Kevin shouted and ran as fast as a fat boy can run into the kitchen. He was probably going to get a doughnut.
“Whatever!” I dismissed, then sat back on the couch and started filing my damaged nails while watching Project Runway.
“Tim Gunn always knows best!” I told the contestant as they ignored what Tim had to say.
Just then, Tyler rang the doorbell. I quickly turned the channel to a monster truck rally, then ran over to greet Tyler.
“What do you want, Tyler?” I asked impatiently, worrying over the elimination that I was missing.
“Um, dude, I was like, coming over here to see if you wanted to stalk Bella again tomorrow.” he said, leaning against the door frame.
“Tyler, how many times do I have to tell you, following someone around, reading their mail, hacking into their computer hard drive and sneaking into their house to see how many socks they have is not stalking, it is simply getting to know someone better without actually talking to them!” I declared, not caring about the elimination anymore. I could watch the repeat tomorrow.
“Sure, Mike.” Tyler dismissed, “Go and watch your monster truck thing. I’ve got to get home and watch Project Runway.” Tyler waved goodbye and walked to his car.
“What a weirdo.” Kevin said, appearing next to me with a cookie.
“Isn’t that Gabby’s?” I asked him, closing the door.
I shrugged, “Can’t a guy ask a simple question?”
It was Saturday morning and I woke up from my dream about Bella.
I was in love.
I checked the clock. “OH CRAP, I’M GOING TO MISS THE TOP TWENTY COUNT DOWN!” I yelled, then ran down the stairs to the TV.
My dad was asleep on the couch, holding the remote in one hand, the other choking my favorite teddy bear, Mr. Giggles.
“NO, MR. GIGGLES!” I scream and went over to aid the bear in distress.
I grabbed the remote and then tried to release Mr. Giggles from his horrible prison.
Unfortunately, my father had a tight grip on the bear. He must be having that dream about Ronald McDonald again.
When I finally pried on finger open, my father jumped up, startled and half awake.
“INTRUDER!” he scream, and started beating me with a random beer bottle.
“Ouch! Daddy!” I yelled, trying to get away from my abusive father.
“INTRUDER! INTRUDER!” he kept screaming, still hitting me with the bottle.
“AHHH!” I screamed, still unsuccessfully attempting escape.
Then, my sister appeared with a camera. “This is my mentally handicapped brother, Mike. He’s obviously trying to provoke the evil. Now, let’s move on to the fatty, Kevin.” Gabby said, then walked out of the room to the kitchen.
Somehow, I slapped Dad hard enough that he fell back asleep on the couch.
I stared triumphantly, than sat down on the couch, snuggling with Mr. Giggles. I turned to VH1 and right in time to see Fergie singing ‘Fergalicious’.
“YAY!” I squealed and started to dance to the song in front of the television with Mr. Giggles.
Half way through the song, my mom walked in, followed by Gabby who was still recording.
“Michael Scott Newton, you know you aren’t aloud to watch Fergie! She is way to inappropriate!” my mother scolded. She picked up the remote and started changing the station.
I was about to protest until I saw what was on. “Yay, Go Diego, Go!”
“Hey, guys, you’ve got to see this!” Emmett yelled from his room in the Cullen house.
Bella, Alice and Edward appeared in the doorway.
“What is it, Emmett?” Bella asked, being the only one who had no clue what was going on.
“Look at this video I found on YouTube.” He said, turning in his swivel chair to the computer.
They all gathered around and watched the video labeled ‘My Insane Family: Featuring My Two Idiot Brothers by Forks_Or_Spoons’.
The camera turned on and walked into a wide room with a brown couch and matching recliner facing a tiny television. A man was holding a beer bottle and beating a boy…a boy named Mike Newton.
The camera then moved into the kitchen, where a fat boy was eating out of a doughnut box with chocolate smeared all over his face. He looked up when the cameraman came into the room and said something unintelligible.
“That’s Kevin, the fatty.” the girl said. “And here is Mom. Hi Mom!”
A woman walking into the room with a pink suit on fixing an earring stared at the camera for a moment.
“Wait, is that Fergie?” the woman asked.
“Mike!” the woman started walking to the living room with the cameraman in tow.
“Michael Scott Newton, you know you aren’t aloud to watch Fergie! She is way to inappropriate!” the woman scolded. She picked up the remote and changed the channel.
“Yay, Go Diego, Go!”
Bella, Edward, Alice and Emmett all burst out laughing at the same time.
“What a dork.” Emmett concluded.