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Tough Love

Summary:
Leaving your love is hard, but forgetting about the pain is even worse. Try telling that to Edward Cullen. When he thinks he's imagining things, he doesn't know how real things are about to get. A twist on New Moon Chapter 3 is up!


Notes:
I know what you're thinking, this story is so over done! But really, IT'S NOT what you think it is. I don't know how to explain it, but it's actually really good. I just hope you'll like this.


4. With a broken diamond heart

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1055   Review this Chapter

Retribution. I shall have my revenge upon this thing called ‘fate.’

For no matter how hard I tried, I could not do what was right. It was simple really. I should be doing the right thing – but I’m not. Must I always be this selfish?

Even now, the thought of returning to my beautiful Bella was clouding my thoughts, bringing dangerous fantasies to mind. How would her lips taste against my own again? Would she cry tears of happiness when she saw me? Or even if she was angry with me and never wanted to see me again, I would still be there…watching from the shadows while she grew older and fell in love again. My dead, cold heart would break a million times, but as long as I could see her smile it would be worth it all.

“What are you thinking about?” A soft voice erupted through my thoughts. I had almost lost myself in thoughts of Bella…

“I should ask you the same thing,” I muttered softly, half hoping she wouldn’t hear me.

She gave a puzzled look and then looked away. I took a deep breath and her scent was almost like another wrecking ball…I had lost what I was so desensitized to.

“You’ve gone much more silent in the past few moments. Don’t get me wrong, it’s peaceful,” I teased slightly. “But kind of worrying.”

Bella was right; I had a multiple personality disorder.

“I…I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice tight with concern.

“Why are you apologizing?” I asked, tense now.

“Edward…it wasn’t fair of me to judge the lengths of your love for Bella. If you don’t think it’s in the best interest, don’t listen to me. Although I think you should go back, that doesn’t necessarily mean you should.”

And there, the point of my longing and hope to see Bella again nearly crushed me. There was a liquid fire under my skin at the thought of my return only bringing danger to her again.

“She’s so fragile…” I whispered, more to myself than to the Bella look-alike by my side. “So breakable, so soft-hearted. A strong mind, for sure, but much more vulnerable than she thinks. If only I could love her without hurting her…”

“If only you could. I guess that’s the drawback in all tragedies, isn’t it?” Marie half-smiled, biting her lower lip just as Bella would do in a time of anxiety.

“So many different ways I could use the words if only…” I almost laughed. It was comical how many different ways.

If only I were human, so I could be with Bella.

If only I was strong enough to be with her without hurting her.

If only I was soft enough, fragile enough, smart enough…

The list went on and on.

And then, an inkling of a thought slipped past my walls, on to a vision of Alice’s that caused me turmoil since the second I had laid eyes on my beautiful angel.

If only Bella were a vampire… like me.

“Ah,” I groaned. “Marie, distract me, please?”

Anything, any other thought, would be preferable than thinking about that conclusion.

“I think it’s getting too dark now,” she said, the worry in her voice apparent. I hadn’t noticed, for my eyesight would be the same in the dark.

“I think the forest will be ending soon. You said it was at the edge, correct?”

“Yeah… hey, do mind doing me a favor?”

“I’m doing you a favor now,” I reminded her. “But another might be possible.” I added politely.

“Don’t tell my parents I was lost, ok? They won’t let me out to the forest again… just say you found me by the river and I asked if you wanted to stay at the cottage, all right?”

“Can do,” I replied. She smiled again and the trouble in her melted chocolate eyes disappeared.

“So are you going to do go back?” She asked softly after a few moments of silence.

“I don’t know… I want to, so very badly. But I don’t know if I should be so selfish.”

“You don’t seem very selfish to me,” Marie laughed slightly. “So tell me…what is she like?”

“Bella?”

“No, Princess Diana,” she rolled her eyes sarcastically.

“Oh, well she died a few years ago, she had short blonde hair and blue---”

“Edward!” She laughed, interrupting my small teasing.

I became serious again at the thought Bella. It hurt more than anything I’d ever felt in my existence, yet it felt kind of good in a sickening way to talk about it.

I was such a masochist.

“Can we please talk about something else?”

“Ok…tell me about---”

She stopped when we heard a small ringing noise coming from my bag. I took it off my shoulder and opened it.

“Alice?”

“Edward,” she seemed angry. “Would you please make up your mind? It’s giving me a headache!”

“Alice, what are you on about?”

“Your future keeps shifting, and since I’m so attuned to it, I keep having different visions! Are you going back to Bella or not?”

“I…don’t know,” I murmured, watching as Marie ran up ahead and touched the bark of a tree for some unknown reason.

“Well, where are you at the moment?”

“In Louisiana apparently.”

“Edward, come look!” Marie shouted, waving me over.

“Who is that?” Alice asked, curiosity evident in her voice. “She sounds like…” She didn’t need to finish the sentence.

“Wait, you didn’t see visions of me with someone in a forest?” I asked, walking over to Marie.

“No, hold on a moment,” Alice said, probably checking through her visions.

“What is it?” I asked Marie.

“We must be close, it’s my tree!” She was pointing at a tree with a big heart carved into it, initials, M.I.S. on the inside.

“No, I only see you in a dark forest. I don’t see you with anyone. Who is she?” Alice seemed confused.

“But she’s right here,” I replied, also confused. “She must be in your sight…”

“Who?” Alice asked again.

“I’ll explain later, I suppose… perhaps you’re losing it,” I smiled slightly.

“Whatever Edward. I’m still angry with you. I don’t even feel like talking to you right now. I just called to tell you to make up your mind already.” And with that, she hung up.

Ouch, that hurts.