A story so crazy it can only be titled question mark… Warning: Don’t read if you have no sense of humor or can’t understand that I’m joking. Readers- I’m moving accounts. This was a shared account with someone who doesn’t really like me anymore. So I’ll post this to all the stories I wrote (I’ll only continue some) then you can read them. Continuing: Complications, Goneandnevercomingback., Marionette, mynewLife, and SpilledMascara. If what you read wasn’t listed and you want it continued, tell me through the “contactauthors” button on the “elainamorrigan” account why I should continue. -elle/Twizzler
by twisler terrier
Rating 5/5 Word Count 803 Review this Chapter
“Edward?” Bella said. He looked at her like he would be drooling all over her bed if he could.
“Yeah?” He answered quickly.
“I know you love me and want to keep me safe, but I’m running off to go see a dangerous, unstable, werewolf later today.” She replied.
“No! You can’t!” He wailed, “I love you too much to see you get hurt!”
She sighed impatiently and rolled her eyes at her perfect boyfriend, “He’s my best friend-”
“Who want’s to be more than that!” she opened her mouth to argue but he interrupted, his words coming out in a rush, “Bella, I tried to keep this from you so you wouldn’t get hurt, but you know how in movies guys try to take advantage of girls after they’re boyfriends broke up with them? When they usually go ‘I’ll be the shoulder she cries on!’ ‘Yeah man!’ ‘Way to go!’? Well that’s what he was doing!”
“Liar! He loves me!” She said dramatically.
“No!” He said, “He was using you!”
“No he’s not!”
“Yes he is!”
“No he’s not!”
“Yes he is!”
“No he’s not!”
“Yes he isn’t!” (Wait what?)
“No he’s notn’t!” (?)
“Yes he not!” (…)
“I’m not here to argue! I’m going to go see Alice to see what she thinks!” And with that she jutted out her chin and walked to her car, tripping every other step.
After she got there she walked up to the door and went straight to Alice’s room.
Alice was curled up in a ball in the corner, rocking back and forth singing, “They’re coming to take me away! Ha ha, ha hee, ho ho, ho ha! The funny farm where life is beautiful all the time-”
“Alice! I’m here!” Bella announced.
Psycho Alice perked up, “Oh boy! Lets go shopping!”
“I came ‘cause I was wondering if I’m gonna go to Jacob’s house today or be with Edward.” She said as if it was obvious.
“Err…I know…I saw that…you’re doing neither…you’re going shopping with me.” Alice said, shifty-eyed.
“Oh, okay.” Bella said.
Rosalie came in the room then.
“I hate you Bella.” Rose said absently.
“I know.” Bella whined, flinching, curling up in a ball, and backing up into a corner.
Rose turned to Alice, smacking her gum loudly, “I’m going too. I’ve already worn most of my cloths like…twice.” (wow there’s a shocker)
“Okay.” Alice said.
Bella growled, pretending to be a vampire.
Jasper burst trough the door, spinning around.
“OMG! It’s emo! I mean Jasper!” Rosalie yelled.
“Where’s Emmett? We’re playing hide and seek and if I lose again, I’ll cut myself!” He said, still spinning.
“I don’t know.” Alice said, “Now go away and leave us al-”
“Shut up crazy!” He said, then ran out the room.
“Emmett want know if Jasper gone.” A voice said from the closet.
“Yes, he is.” answered Bella.
“Yay!” He bolted downstairs and shouted, “1 2 3! Base on Emmett!” from the couch.
“Crap! Where’s my new knife?” Jasper yelled.
Emmett ran back up the stairs and sat cross-legged on the ground, “Emmett won again Rosy!”
“Whatever.” She said.
He jutted out his lower lip and pouted, “Emmett sad, so very sad.”
Esme came into the room.
“Wear a sweater or you’ll catch a cold.” She said.
“Mom.” Everyone whined.
“Lets go downstairs and watch The Lost Boys!” Esme said.
“OMG! I love that movie!”
“Yeah lets go!”
“Aw, I’ve seen it before and saw it again just now!”
“Deal with it, come on!”
“Emmett like movie too.”
“If there’s blood I can’t watch it!”
“There is, but that dude drinks it!”
“I like the part where they jump off the bridge!”
“So what? You’re suicidal now, too?”Many minutes of bickering and downstairs walking/tripping later…
Edward flew into the kitchen.
“Bella! Good, you made it back in one piece!” Edward said.
“Where have you been?” She said.
“I was tracking down and destroying the people trying to kill you so you can live another day.” He answered, hugging her.
She snorted, “That’s it?”
He kissed her, “Now I’m happy!” she said.
Carlisle walked in the room.
“We’re going shopping now Bella.” Alice said, grabbing Bella’s wrist and trying to pull her from Edward’s hold on her waist.
“Leeches.” Carlisle muttered.
“What the werewolf are you talking about?” Esme said.
“Rotten kids spend all my money.” He answered.
“We’re watching The Lost Boys!”
“Oh I love that movie!”
“He loves her so much!”
“And then the kids stabs the wrong vampire!”Several more minutes of movie bickering later…
“Wait! Do we even have the movie?” Bella said.
“Yeah Alice and I got it from Blockbuster.” Jasper said.
“It’s probably scratched up.” Carlisle said.
“Jasper almost killed half the store!” Alice said.
“I was one weak human short of half.” Jasper said menacingly.
“Stop it Jazz!” Edward commanded.
Do to the fact that the next things coming up involve a turtle, stupidity, pink hot rod flames, stupidity, a glow stick, stupidity, a ballerina tutu, stupidity, a teddy bear, oh, and a level of stupidity so great, I cannot continue.