A story so crazy it can only be titled question mark… Warning: Don’t read if you have no sense of humor or can’t understand that I’m joking. Readers- I’m moving accounts. This was a shared account with someone who doesn’t really like me anymore. So I’ll post this to all the stories I wrote (I’ll only continue some) then you can read them. Continuing: Complications, Goneandnevercomingback., Marionette, mynewLife, and SpilledMascara. If what you read wasn’t listed and you want it continued, tell me through the “contactauthors” button on the “elainamorrigan” account why I should continue. -elle/Twizzler
by twisler terrier
Rating 0/5 Word Count 899 Review this Chapter
Edward glared at the back of Alice’s head in the car along with Bella. Bella was mad she was being kidnapped and Edward was mad because not only is Alice not telling him what the plan is and driving his car, but she’s humming ‘Barbie Girl’ in her head to keep him out, ugh!
I’m a Barbie girl in a b-
“Oh! My! God! Alice! Enough!” Edward yelled.
Jasper started snickering, Alice grinned, “How about this one?”
It’s a one eyed one horned flying purple people eater!
“Well it’s more you.” He said, smirking.
She glared, “Edward don’t make me make you kick my ass!”
“Yeah well-” He stopped, “What?!”
“You fell for it! Ah ha ha ha ha! I-” she froze, having a vision.
“Alice, what is it?” Everyone but Edward said.
The car spun out of control, everyone still focused on Alice.
She snapped back into reality, eyes crossed with one twitching, “We’re gonna crash!” (Naw! Really?!)
Crash! Shatter! Scream!
“God damn it!” Jasper screamed, “You killed Bella!”
“Oh well.” Alice shrugged.
“Great!” Edward yelled, “Now I have to go to the freakin’ Volturi!”
“Have fun with that.”
Edward ran to Italy, while the rest of the Cullen clan went home.
“So…what are we doing?” Jasper asked, impatient.
“Not telling honey bunny.” She said, putting her lips in a tight line to prove her point.
“’honey bunny’?” he asked.
“You have no idea what I had planned for you earlier!” she said.
Jasper shuttered then changed the subject, “So can we watch ‘Interview with a Vampire’ when we get home?”
“No. We’re doing P.L.O.P.!”
Jasper sighed in aggravation, “But Alice I love that movie! I love it more than I love you! I cry every time the girl dies!”
“You can’t cry!”
“You’re so insensitive!” Jasper wailed, crying into his hands.
When they pulled into the driveway, they immediately ran for the dining room.
“Alice!” Rosalie whined, “What’s going on?”
Alice grinned, “Okay, P.L.O.P. stands for Pranking Lots Of People… so-”
Emmett snickered as he typed in the text.
E: Target spotted.
A: Newton will never know it’s us...
R: you got the newts?
E: werewolf, nine o’clock!
J: It’s 6:30!
R: Look right!
A: you mean left?
The Cullens (who were huddled together in a circle on the sidewalk) turned. Jacob glanced at them and started to walk faster, muttering something about not being scared of leeches.
Rosalie turned back and climbed up Mike Newton’s bedroom wall. He was asleep, even though it was 6:30 p.m.. The dork must not have a life.
Five minutes later they heard a girlie, terrified scream.
The Cullens doubled over laughing, having been the ones to have put the 98 newts in his bed. (There were 100, but Phillip and George passed on the way. A moment of silence for them.
“What?” Rosa asked.
“Did Emmett just?-”
“Hey!” Alice yelled, “Over here!”
“Sorry. We were distracted by the random outburst done by Emmett.”
“Then why’d you ask?”
“Okay. I agree, the prank on Mike was funny, but its not enough! I want to make it into the records! I have another plan. But it’s dangerous...
"EMMETT?!?!?!" everyone yelled, as green glop dripped from his mouth. Yeah don't ask, I don't even know.
“Shhh! Shut- Shut up, man!” Jasper chucked. Emmett laughed, covering his mouth. Alice grabbed the ‘Wet dog’ perfume and sprayed it on Jasper. It didn’t take long to convince him, all she had to do was promise that they’d watch ‘Interview with a Vampire’ later. He put on the werewolf suit and jumped over to the edged of the boundary line, Alice crouching as if to spring in from of him.
“Help. Oh help.” Jasper said dryly.
“Be more convincing!” Alice hissed.
He sighed and let out a good howl. Almost too good.
Jacob, as a wolf of course, ran up and ‘saved’ Jasper.
“Hey baby. Wanna hang out with a real wolf?” he asked.
Embry trotted up, “I hope you don’t mean you. I saw her first!”
They started to fight like, well wolves, over Jasper. Ripping and snarling at each other.
Seth runs over and sits by the Cullens, laughing and clearly the only one who realized. The others were too preoccupied to read his thoughts. Seth really is the only sane one here.
Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, and Carlisle came out of the bushes in white sheets and covered in glow sticks, whooping like ghosts.
The wolves turned tail and ran, except Seth, of course. Alice ran over and grabbed Jacob. He screamed and wet himself. It was fun.
Yes guys, that’s the end. Yes it’s bad. Yes it’s short. Yes it sucks. Yes, it’s a disappointment. I didn’t want to make you wait any longer. School is pretty much sucking right now, and I’m constantly making B’s (a first for me). So I have little time and I’m very aggravated and a little sad. Please don’t freak out, it’s not like that, I’m just stressed. So writers block is at an all time high. Anyway, that’s the last chapter, but if you guys really liked the story, and want more, let me know and I’ll work on one last chapter as a bonus. NO PROMISES! But I’ll try. Oh, and please read Cotton Candy Kitty’s story “secret tonic” It really is good, but people aren’t reading it. Not just not reviewing it, but not even reading it. She’s upset about that, so please read and review. Thanks guys! You Rock! Sorry I couldn’t be the same.