"What exactly is she planning right now?"--Bella Swan, Chapter 21 banner by me :) What if Edward never returned when he first left Bella? Bella now has a second chance at love and life, but how exactly would her life be if Edward never returned? How would her life change when Edward comes back?
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Chapter 4: Signs
I traced the lines on the palm of his hands, his hot skin heating my fingers.
He sighed, thoughtfully, “ah, Bells, and after all this time I thought you had gotten over those people.” Jacob said as I continued to trace his hand on the dining room table.
Connor and I had returned from Phoenix the night before and immediately I had to talk to someone about the things I thought and saw throughout the week.
That morning I woke up and I instantly came to Jacob’s house. I was glad Jasmine had left for her morning classes and Jake was left alone in his house. I didn’t want to have this talk with Jasmine who I knew would not like it if I was thinking about the people that hurt me so much. I was also glad that Billy wasn’t there, I knew Billy usually visited Jacob in the morning. I didn’t want to bring up this subject with Billy in the room.
“I know.” I mumbled putting my chin on the cold table and closed my eyes, feeling like Jake was about to scold me.
He sighed. “How did this begin?” Jake asked seeming curious.
I searched my brain to the first time I had thought about them. “In the plane, I think.”
I tried remembering, “Connor was asking me if I minded if we slept together at the hotel.” I blushed at the way my sentence sounded, Jake laughed, “slept in the same bed,” I corrected myself, “and I told him I didn’t mind, and then I thought to myself that it wouldn’t have been the first time I had done it anyway.”
“So the mention of ‘sleeping together’ brought Ed— I mean, him in mind?” Jacob said adjusting himself in the chair acting as my personal counselor.
“Yes.” I sighed.
Jacob crossed his legs and leaned back on the chair, placing a finger on his chin, being in mock-psychiatrist thought. “I see.” He said.
I laughed, “stop joking around, this is serious!” I tried to keep my voice still but it was too funny seeing him act like that, it reminded me of Connor's mom and the way she acted when seh wanted an intervention with me and her son.
He shot up from the chair and straightened up, “okay.” He took a moment to ponder what I had just told him. Suddenly he looked at me deeply in the eyes for a minute, he then said “Bella, you still have feelings for him.”
I gasped insulted, “no I don’t Jacob, I buried those feelings shortly after I met Connor.”
Jake switched the subject a bit right then, “so you mean you still had feelings for him when me and you—”
I interrupted, “Jake, can we not talk about that?” I looked at him, he looked hurt, “not now, please. We said we’d talk it over sometime, but not right now.”
He nodded and continued helping me solve my problem. “you keep telling yourself you’re over him, Bells.” He let go of my gaze, he knew how much it hurt me talking about him, he didn’t want to see that pain, “he was your first love, he hurt you, and you never saw him again.” He looked at me then, “and it still hurts you when you talk about him or someone mentions his name. It’s obvious you have unresolved feelings.”
I knew Jake was right, but those feelings, were not the feelings that Jacob probably thought I had for Him, they were entirely polar-opposite from each other. “Those feelings are probably just hate, Jacob.” I explained.
Jake looked at me; he wasn’t expecting me to hate Him, then nodded. “Maybe.”
“I hate him for hurting me like that,” I explained those unresolved feelings to him. “But now I love Connor, there‘s no doubt in my mind about that.”
“Which brings up an important question,” Jake said.
“What?” I asked being yanked out from my thoughts.
Jake leaned forward, “why are these thoughts coming back now? After all these years?”
I contemplated what Jake had asked. I confused myself, why were these thoughts coming back now? “Do you think something’s going to happen involving them or my feelings for Connor?”
Jake sighed, “Probably not involving your feelings for Connor,” he explained, “but maybe…I don’t know, there have been some happenings that can suggest something involving them could happen.” He said.
I looked at him, “what? Are you saying that maybe life is giving us hints?” I asked sounding skeptical, “that sounds really bizarre, Jake. Life doesn’t work with hints.”
He rolled his eyes and continued with his explanation, “oh, really?” He challenged, “How do you explain Connor finding a hotel room in the exact hotel you stayed with the Cullens before?” He raised his eyebrow, “there has to be dozens of hotels in Phoenix, why did it have to be that exact one?”
I scoffed, “coincidence, Jake.”
“Okay.” He said, leaning back on the chair. “what about you finding two people that looked just like them?”
“Maybe I was just imagining things, Jake. I was thinking about them basically all day.”
“You’re stubborn.” Jake said with a glare.
I laughed, “you’re just figuring that out?”
He leaned forward looking deep into my eyes and repeated the question he had minutes ago, “what about why are these thoughts coming back now?” He held my gaze, “obviously life is trying warn you about them.”
I stared deep into his eyes. I knew he had some reason but I just couldn’t face it. But instead of letting him know part of me wanted to believe him, I said, “you don’t actually consider that to be happening do you? Like I said, life doesn’t work with hints.”
Jacob shrugged his massive shoulders, “maybe not life…but someone might be trying to give you clues.”
My turn to lean forward, “what do you mean ‘someone’?”
He simply shrugged, “I don’t know, Bells, honestly.” He looked out the window, “just a feeling.” He changed the subject, “now that I think about it, you’re not the only one having thoughts about the Cullens.”
I stared at Jacob as he stayed silent for a moment, “what do you mean?” I asked again.
“Me.” He said, “I’ve been starting to think about them, the rest of the pack has, too.” He stood up seeming confused, “the werewolves inside us seem to have suddenly erupted again, Bella.”
I stood up, too. “But that hasn’t happened since there was vampires here four years ago.”
“Yeah.” Jake said, still looking out the window. A minute later he finally said, “I’m telling you that all of this could be a sign.”
Inside look on a character: This question was brought up by my cousin who was reading this chapter last night, "Is Connor loaded?" as in money wise.
Yes Connor is loaded, I guess. He comes from a wealthy family, his father's a succesful lawyer (ring a bell?) and his mother works as psychologist. But Connor's family and money will be explored more in a couple of more chapters :]
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