"What exactly is she planning right now?"--Bella Swan, Chapter 21 banner by me :) What if Edward never returned when he first left Bella? Bella now has a second chance at love and life, but how exactly would her life be if Edward never returned? How would her life change when Edward comes back?
Rating 4.1/5 Word Count 2173 Review this Chapter
Hello my readers! Just wanted to thank those who reviewed this story! I loved reading last chapter's reviews because 90% of you were freaking out over wanting Edward. Don't worry Edward Lovers, he'll be back, but can't say what is going to happen when he does! O.o
So onto this chapter, this one's pretty long but really juicy (but maybe thats just me), especially in the beginning (again maybe just me)
Chapter 6: Finally
That night I could hardly sleep, so many emotions and thoughts running through my head I couldn’t close my eyes and relax. I was overly excited Connor had asked me to marry him and I was incredibly jumpy for the fact he finally asked me to.
I tried closing my eyes but it was useless, I felt too excited. I kicked my feet in the air like an over joyous teenager. Then sighed and relaxed my body on the bed, my eyes closed and a smile on my face.
Looking at the clock I sighed, it was 1:30 am, only a few more hours and I would be reunited with my future husband to tell the grand news to our family -- well mine first, Connor’s family were still in Oregon.
I would see Connors parents in two days, when they planned on visiting him on the weekend.
I faced the ceiling reliving the moment when he proposed. It was adorable, he had hid it in the wine bottle, and it was a surprise too. Connor was always the romantic, planning new and charming things.
He was always the best in charm and romance.
I smiled again, my heart pounded in my chest relieving the moment he proposed. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind when I said yes to him. I loved him; he made every day that I spent with him the most joyous and loving day.
My thoughts had raced when he asked me the question but they all ended with the same answer; that I loved him and I did wanted to spend my life with him.
We had passed through many wonderful things in life, all enjoyable. How could I not say yes to him? Connor never did me wrong in anything, he was the perfect man.
We never once fought about anything, even with my stubbornness, he always knew how to avoid an argument. He never drank alcohol; he always called when he would come late, he knew just how to do everything right with family, my friends and me.
He was always a charming and cheerful man, incredibly handsome, too.
I lay there thinking how perfect of a husband Connor would be. How great of a father he would turn out to be, he was so great with kids, I loved seeing how he handled children. He would be loving and caring and he would always be there for me no matter what.
I sighed, “I‘m engaged,” I whispered aloud, “to the man I immeasurably loved, the man of my dreams,” I continued, liking what I was saying out loud, picturing Connor next to me as I said these words, “to the man that never did me any wrong and who loved me unconditionally, too.”
“He would never leave you,” I heard a voice whisper next to my ear.
I shot up and looked around the room, my pulse racing and fresh sweat beaded my forehead. There was no one there, only me. But I knew I distinctly heard a voice next to me, and not a voice of my own, but one I recognized well enough to bring my the pain I didn’t want.
I tightened my hands into fists and struggled to breathe, so many harmful thoughts came into my mind at that second. The melodic voice had once again appeared in my thoughts, haunting me yet again. It felt like every nerve and cell in me seemed to have shut down at that moment. But unlike when I had heard it years ago, I didn’t feel the longing…I felt anger.
Soon I managed to relax myself, saying it was just a hallucination, like the ones I had years ago and laid back down on my bed, but my thoughts kept racing to the voice and what it had said. He would never leave you.
I shook my head, “No,” I said to the voice, “Connor would neverleaveme, neverhad, never will.”I stated.
“Unlike when he left you those many years ago.” It responded, but this time I noticed the voice was different, female, it sounded like me. I winced at the thought that opened a painful hole in my heart. “Connor would never break your heart like that, unlike the ungrateful brute of Edwa--”
I sat up, not wanting to go into those thoughts. After moments of debating with my own thoughts I lay back down feeling exhausted.
That was the first time I had thought of Him since my talk with Jacob a week before. But worse enough this time, I actually heard him.
“Why does he always have to appear in my thoughts, now.” I said near in tears.
“Because deep down you still love him,” my voice returned.
My heart sank, “no.” I whispered to it almost breathless.
It laughed in my head, “That’s what you keep telling yourself, Bella.” It replied.
I shook my head, “I don’t love him. I love Connor, only. I’m going to marry Connor, I want to marry Connor.”
I was beginning to feel like a lunatic, talking to myself in the dark about such a painful subject. But I didn’t care, speaking them out loud was better than keeping them in my own thoughts, maybe that way I could shut up my voice.
“You’d love to marry Him, and you know it,” my heart continued to pound at the thoughts appearing at what my voice (subconscious?) was bringing up. I tried to pry them away but my brain wouldn’t let me, it insisted I thought of him. It kept repeating memories of him in my ear; it placed painful memories in my head.
After moments of fighting with my subconscious my tears flowed down my cheeks. Even though my thoughts kept wandering back towards him, I tried not to accept what they were telling me. I couldn’t love him, not after all the pain he had put me through and yet my mind was telling me I did. He hurt me profoundly but deep down inside of me, I felt that I still yearned for him, no matter how much I tried to deny it.
“I can’t still love him,” I cried softly into my pillow, “I can’t.”
“Part of you still wishes for him to somehow return, you’re still wishing he would come back for you, you still want him.” The voice continued to interfere.
Those thoughts were betraying my feelings for Connor; I shook my head clearing my thoughts. “I loved Connor, no doubt about it,” I said to my subconscious, nearly angry, “I am marrying Connor, no doubt about it.” I continued, “He was my past and Connor is my future,” I huffed.
I rolled on my side and finally sank to sleep, dreaming of Connor. My thoughts finally shutting up.
What woke me up was the bright sun gleaming into my window. I adjusted my eyes to the light and smiled. This was a good sign, the sun was out, everything had to go right today.
“Morning, Bella.” Angela said as I went to the kitchen. She was eating cereal on the small table. “You’re looking incredibly happy this morning.” She noticed raising her eyebrow up in suspicion.
“I am?” I asked confused, seeing as how I could barely sleep and Him popping up in my brain, I thought I was going to be a nightmare this morning. Except that Connor had proposed to me last night so I guessed I must still have that glow in me.
Angela got up from the table and left her cereal on the table. Good thing I didn’t put on my ring like I told Connor I would do until we told everyone.
“Bella,” Angela circled me, “are you not telling me something, what happened last night?” She asked.
I laughed, soon forgetting about my thought dilemma that occurred last night and focused of the enchanting night I had before it, “I’ll let you know soon,” I said, “this afternoon there will be a barbeque at my dad’s house. You and Ben are invited,” I told her. I wondered when she and Ben were going to tie the knot.
She smiled, “great! We were wondering where we could go today, anyway.” She said and continued with her breakfast.
I smiled and headed upstairs to see when Connor would arrive to pick me up.
He called me during his break at Medical School, “I’ll be there around 1, sweetheart.” He told me, “that’s when my rounds finish,” he said meaning the medical rounds the Professors usually made each student do as part of their training.
“Okay, I’ll meet you at the market, then,” I explained, “I have to pick up some things for the party.”
“Sounds good.” He mused, “I’ll see you then, Bella. Love you. Bye.”
“Love you, too.”
He made it at exactly one o’clock, just as I was almost finishing up with the groceries. It surprised me how punctual he was always.
He helped me put the grocery bags in the car and we headed to Charlie’s house to deliver our good news. He would be the first to know about the engagement.
“Don’t you want to call your parents?” I asked him during the drive.
“No.” He shook his head and shrugged, “I’d rather tell them face to face when they come by for the weekend, my mom would probably scold me for telling her over the phone.” He explained, “what about you? Shouldn’t you tell your mom?”
“I will…after I tell Charlie, I’d love to tell her face to face but she won’t be able to make it here for maybe another two weeks,” I explained, Renee and Phil were on the road, “and if I told her by then she‘d be pretty angry,”
We arrived to Charlie’s house, then. His cruiser was out in the driveway and I could smell he was preparing for the big barbeque as soon as I opened the front door.
“Hey!” He said when we walked through the door and hurried to hug me, “Hi sweetie.”
“Hi, dad.” I hugged him back.
“How you doing Connor?” Charlie asked leading us inside the house and into the kitchen where he was reading off a cooking book.
“More than great, sir.” Connor answered with an excited smile and set the food on the kitchen table.
Charlie raised his eyebrows at Connor’s answer. “Sounds more than great, then.”
I jumped right into it as soon as we had brought in all the groceries, “Dad, we have something to tell you.” I bit my lip and led my dad into the living room.
“Was it is Bella? Is it bad?” Charlie asked beginning to worry, his eyes looking at me with precaution.
“Complete opposite, dad,” I said, beginning to get nervous. Charlie waited patiently for my answer, seeming to be trying to decipher the news in his head.
I looked up at Connor who just smiled won at me, encouraging me to proceed. He looked just as nervous as I probably did, Charlie was going to be the hardest to break it to, we thought.
“Well,” I began, “dad,” I paused, Charlie rocked in his heels starting to get slightly impatient, “Connor and I are engaged to be married!” I nearly shouted the last part of the sentence.
I stretched out my hand so that Charlie could see the ring on my finger.
Charlie’s eyes widened with shock and a moment later his smile grew widely and he shouted, “Finally!” And gave me an excited hug. “Son!” He said to Connor and nearly jumped to give him a congratulations hug.
Connor and I laughed with relief at how well Charlie had taken the news.
“So this is what this whole barbeque thing is about, huh?” He asked not even waiting for an answer from us, “wow!” He exclaimed, “I am truly happy for you two. I know you will have a wonderful life.” He said honestly and taking my hand in his. “You found a good one, Bella.” Then he looked at Connor, “you found a good one too, Connor.”
Connor smiled brightly, “believe me, sir, I know.”
So how many of you think that Bella has gone nuts? Tell me what you think about this chapter, I need some insight if imma figure out howI'm oging to play this out.
(also something weird is going on, can you guys see the full chapter because I can't! so i keep trying to update it, but it keeps happening, maybe it's just my computer??!?)
Thanks for reading :]]
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