For either of them to be apart too long is what they consider torture. Being away from the other, not being able to love them is even worse. How would it feel having to wait while your love might be taken by another? Edward's POV of the day Jacob Black told Bella he loved her, and the day she broke her hand.
All charecters belong to Stephenie Meyers. No money is being made by this work.
1. Forever Waiting
Rating 3.9/5 Word Count 3867 Review this Chapter
The notes swelled and shrunk, became loud and quiet. A symphony of sound echoed loudly in the empty space. A whirlwind of perfected noise.
And yet it was nothing on the chaos of my thoughts right now. They were buzzing past so quickly that I could barely keep track of them myself. But they all were focused on two things in particular.
Bella and that dog, Jacob Black.
Even thinking their two names together brought out the new monster within me, stronger even than my thirst. It brought out a fresh wave of possessiveness, demanding my selfish nature to take hold of the situation and save myself all the confusion.
Jealousy. I was jealous of that filthy dog and all because he had a sliver of my Bella’s attention. Just a small portion of thought, of concern, and he was gloating it in his head as loudly as he could to be sure I would hear.
He wanted to tell her he loved her more than anything else. Not liked, not have a crush on, but the strongest affection of them all. Love.
I had read his thoughts, and I knew he truly cared about Bella, but only in the smallest fraction of my feelings for her. If he knew the fierce emotions I felt toward her, the simple need to be near her, he would have left us alone. But no, he could only read the minds of werewolves.
Part of my anger, I knew, came from the fear that Bella might accept his love and go with him. I would let her, let her go and have a full, happy life. I just wished it was with anyone else.
I knew it was irrational to think she would actually go with the dog or anyone else. She had made herself clear on how strong her feelings for me were. She would even condemn herself to a soulless eternity to be with me. That showed the true depth of her love.
Or did it? Though she said she wanted to be with me forever, she still refused to marry me. Was she unsure if she wanted to be with me that long, or was it truly just a fear coursing from her childhood lectures? Did she want to be with someone else?
I took a deep breath, noticing how Bella’s scent lingered in my room; faint but still strong to me. I smiled at the familiar and mouthwatering scent. It seemed like I needed to breathe in the smell that tempted me more than any other more than I needed air—as if I was human!
It was strange. I had noticed it before her eighteenth birthday, but it was even truer now. I felt all of my humanity returning to me, emotion by emotion, feeling by feeling, and memory by memory.
The more time I spent with Bella, it seemed the more I remembered of my human life from nearly eighty years ago. Small, innocent flashes of my mother on the piano, going to school with other boys, my fascination with the Great War.
If only memories were the only things that returned. The emotions that Bella stirred in me were things I hadn’t felt since the beginning of my life as an abomination. Contentment, real happiness, love…and jealousy. That was one emotion I would have preferred to have still unfelt by my new body.
Bella. It was only a whisper of a thought, one of recognition and worry from Alice. She obviously was beginning to have a vision, and Bella was the main person in it.
Before even comprehending my own actions, I was going down the stairs to Alice’s room, flinging the door open and rushing over to her still form. Her eyes were concentrated on something far away, something only the two of us could see. What she saw was only slight flickers, changed by the changing decisions of others.
Bella, walking angrily on the side of the road, holding her right hand close to her in obvious pain, though all her face showed was frustration.
Bella, slowly being walked into the hospital with a very annoyed face by a baffled Charlie, who clearly didn’t know the source of her anger or injury.
Bella, sitting in someone's brightly colored kitchen, talking quietly to a girl only slightly older then her who was giving her an ice pack. The girl turned, and the deep scars on her face became visible.
Finally, the chaos settled on one vision.
Bella, standing in her small kitchen with an obvious look of irritation coloring her features, getting ice and applying it to her hand, before getting the phone and dialing a cell phone number.
Alice leaned forward slightly, shaking her head as she was released from the vision. She looked baffled for a moment, wondering what happened to her hand. Then she looked up at me smugly.
“If that stupid dog hurt her, then I’m not happy she’s upset with him Alice,” I said through my teeth. “What if something worse happened then him hurting her hand?”
Alice sighed. Edward, she hurts herself enough anyway. At this point, does it truly matter who or what did it, as long as she’s alright and not dying somewhere? I cringed at the thought. Sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come out so bluntly like that.
“It’s alright,” I sighed, before thinking back to the vision. Bella had been dialing my phone number, so she would probably want me to come over and bring her to Carlisle. “I should probably go get the Volvo and wait for her to call.”
Alice nodded, and ushered me away.
I ran quickly to my car, ignoring Rosalie and Emmett who were just coming into the garage to work on Emmett’s Jeep. Apparently, he didn’t think it was fast enough.
Making sure I had my phone, I silently wondered why Bella just didn’t call me with the phone I had given her. Why make herself have to get all the way home before speaking to me?
Then I noticed the small silver square on the seat next to me as I pulled out of the garage. She had obviously forgotten it in the car as the dog was being too impatient for her to be able to gather her things before going. I sighed at the mess this was all turning into. I wished things could just be as simple as before.
But they couldn’t. I had screwed up any chance of Bella and I having any peace when I decided to make the choice to leave Bella’s life forever, and started this entire mess. If I hadn’t of left, she never would have been hurt the way she was, she never would have gone to the dog, she never would have had to worry about Victoria or Laurent, and the Volturi never would have found out that she existed. All of it was my fault.
I sighed. There was no point thinking of this now that it was over and done. Nothing could change the past, so all we could do was look towards the future for now.
As I pulled out of the long driveway to our house, I slammed down on the brakes. I wanted to be as close to Bella as I could be when she called. Going at my preferred speed of over a hundred miles per hour helped with that plan.
Suddenly, the phone in my pocket began to ring. I reached for it immediately, and glanced at the caller ID. It was Bella. I opened the phone quickly. “Bella?” I asked in delight. It was a relief to finally here from her after all of the vision Alice had. “You left the phone…I’m sorry, did Jacob drive you home?”
“Yes,” she grumbled. “Will you come and get me, please?” From her tone, I immediately knew that something was really upsetting her.
“I’m on my way,” I told her. “What’s wrong?”
“I want Carlisle to look at my hand. I think it’s broken,” she told me, her voice fused with annoyance, embarrassment and anger. But I didn’t dwell on that though. It seemed she didn’t just hurt her hand like Alice tried to reassure me. She broke it. My anger at the dog swelled.
“What happened?” I demanded, trying not to put any emotion in my voice to alert her to my anger, since I knew it would only worry her more.
She seemed slightly reluctant to answer. Finally, she told me. “I punched Jacob in the face,” she admitted. It pleased me that she used the mutt’s full name instead of the nickname she gave him.
“Good,” I said, though my voice went bleak. It was good she finally got angry at the dog for once. “Though I’m sorry you’re hurt,” I added. And I was sorry. I hated it when she was in any pain at all.
She laughed once, before sighing angrily. “I wish I’d hurt him. I didn’t do any damage at all.” She sounded extremely upset.
“I can fix that,” I offered as a joke, knowing she would turn me down, no matter how reluctantly.
To my utter surprise, she didn’t. “I was hoping you would say that.” There was an underlying note of fierce loathing in her voice. I instantly knew I was missing something crucial.
“That doesn’t sound like you,” I said slowly, warily. Something big must have happened, and I was extremely curious to know why. “What did he do?”
“He kissed me,” she growled.
My hands clenched hard on the steering wheel, and my foot went down even farther on the gas petal as a fierce and powerful storm of anger overtook me. I heard other voices in the background, but ignored them. How dare anyone kiss my Bella against her will? Especially the filthy mutt. If he cared about her as much as he told her, he would have allowed her to give her a choice on how she felt.
Finally, I had enough control on my emotions to speak again. “Is the dog still there?”
I had to control my hands again as they tried to tear apart the steering wheel. “I’m around the corner,” I said darkly. I snapped the phone shut as I executed a tight turn and sped down the road to her house.
I braked tightly, and thoughts started to echo inside my head. Charlie and the dog, both aware that I was here now. Charlie seemed uncomfortable, and the dog seemed smug.
“How’s your hand?” I heard Charlie ask Bella as she came to get the door for me. His voice was an alternate version to his feelings on the present situation.
“It’s swelling,” Bella answered.
“Maybe you should pick on people your own size,” he suggested, and I had to stifle a laugh at that. Maybe she should try and deal with people within her own species.
“Maybe,” she agreed dryly as she opened the door for me. Just seeing my love’s face calmed me down considerably, and I was able to ignore the thoughts of the two other males in the house. I breathed in her scent, trying to ignore how it was mixed with the smell of wet dog.
“Let me see,” I murmured quietly as I took her hand gently in mine. I was grateful for the multiple medical degrees I had gained over the century. They were necessary to handle Bella. And now, as I observed her small warm hand in my large cold ones, I recognized that she did indeed have a small break.
I looked into her large brown eyes, and momentarily got lost in their deep depths. It was amazing that any person could display so much of themselves through their eyes. I saw that she wasn’t in any pain at the moment, so I knew my observations hadn’t harmed her.
“I think your right about the break. I’m proud of you. You must have put some force behind this,” I praised her quietly. It was truly brave to try and take on a werewolf.
“As much as I have,” she sighed. “Not enough, apparently.” Her voice said she didn’t expect any different. She knew that all of the creatures she spent time with were much stronger than she was.
I softly kissed her hand, marveling in her warmth and the delicious aroma coming from her. “I’ll take care of it,” I promised her. I would take her straight to Carlisle, after I dealt with something else. “Jacob,” I called out, keeping my voice even though I truly wanted to snarl the name.
He better not be trying to start a fight right now, Charlie thought. “Now, now,” he cautioned, pulling himself up off the couch loudly.
The dog got up much more quickly and quietly and walked into the hall before Charlie. Do you really think you could beat me bloodsucker? How about we go and see? he thought eagerly.
“I don’t want any fighting, do you understand?” Charlie said mostly to me. “I can go put my badge on if that makes my request more official.” There’s no way I’m going to let them do anything. Though I would love to take Cullen to the station, I would have to take Jake too or Bella would throw a fit.
“That won’t be necessary,” I told him, trying to keep the strain from my voice. As much as I wanted to pummel the dog, I knew better since it would hurt Bella.
Beside me, Bella spoke up. “Why don’t you arrest me dad?” she suggested, obviously trying to lighten the mood. “I’m the one throwing punches.”
In Black’s mind, an image of Bella standing before him with a blank face before throwing out her fist and then grabbing it in pain. She actually thought she could do something, he thought in disappointment.
Charlie turned the dog, raising an eyebrow. “Do you want me to press charges Jake?” Oh, this is turning into a joke. I can’t take my daughter to the police station. How would that look?
No,” Black grinned. “I’ll take the trade any day.” And image of him grabbing Bella and leaning down and kissing her as she protested filled his mind. I made a face at the memory, which would be burned into my mind forever now.
“Dad, don’t you have a baseball bat somewhere in your room? I want to borrow it for a minute,” Bella said scathingly. She had obviously noticed the exchange between the dog and I.
Charlie looked at her sternly. She doesn’t need to hold such a grudge. I’m sure she would have been going out with him by now if he didn’t come back. Doesn’t she know that? “Enough, Bella.”
“Let’s go have Carlisle look at your hand before you wind up in a jail cell,” I said. I didn’t want to deal with the thoughts coming from Charlie and the dog right now. And Bella really needed her hand looked at. I was sure she didn’t notice it, but it was swelling even more now and turning red. Her blood had adrenaline in it to try and stifle the pain she was in. I put my arm around her waist and led her to the door.
“Fine,” she sighed, leaning against me and warming my cold body. The contact seemed to warm my heart. She seemed more relaxed now too, and I knew she was calming down.
Let’s see if I can get the leech to do anything. I hate how calm he always is, Black thought. He started to follow us out the door, but was restrained by Charlie.
I know how cocky Jake is. Just because he’s a giant doesn’t mean he can take Cullen. There’s something about him that makes him seem powerful, Charlie thought in panic. “What are you doing? Are you crazy?”
I can take Cullen. It’s not like he can beat me just because he’s a rock. “Give me a minute Charlie. Don’t worry, I’ll be right back,” he assured the police chief.
From beside me, Bella glanced back and her aroma hit my senses hard, though it was easy to ignore the slight venom pooling in my mouth. I hadn’t noticed as much before because of the horrible scent of the mutt.
I ignored the dog, even though his thoughts shouted in my head and his disgusting scent grew stronger. I had to take care of Bella first. Her safety was more important then anything he had to say to me. I guided her to the car and helped her in, careful of her injured hand. As soon as she was in, I shut the door and turned the Black.
I ignored the panicked thoughts of Charlie from inside the house and his face peeking from the window in his front room, and Bella leaning through the open window of my Volvo.
Let’s see what you got to say parasite, Black thought as he stood before me casually, his arms folded across his chest, but his jaws were strained.
I spoke calmly to show my control in this situation. “I’m not going to kill you now, because it would upset Bella,” I told him, though I truly wanted to tear him apart.
“Hmph,” Bella grumbled from the car.
I turned and gave her a quick smile, her face making my heart warm, and that warmth grew from the look of annoyance for the dog. But I knew she still did care about him, however much I wished she didn’t. “It would bother you in the morning,” I whispered, brushing my hand across her face, my fingers on fire before turning back to Jacob.
“But if you ever bring her back damaged again—and I don’t care whose fault it is; I don’t care if she merely trips, or if a meteor falls out of the sky and hits her on the head—if you return her to me in less than the perfect condition I left her in, you will be running with three legs. Do you understand that, mongrel?” I hated how I was making my Bella sound like a possession, but she was to him, and I had to get my point across.
Wow bloodsucker, I’m so scared, he thought, rolling his eyes. Do you really think anyone on the rez would let her get hurt unless she did it to herself? And I doubt there’s any truth to that threat. You wouldn’t want to worry the rest of your coven by starting a war.
“Who’s going back,” Bella said under her breath. I knew she wouldn’t want to be around the dog for awhile now, and that was fine with me. But she would want to go back eventually, and I would have to let her.
“And if you ever kiss her again, I will break your jaw for her,” I promised gently, making sure he would remember this. At once, angry thoughts filled his head, many too dirty for him to know. Some of his wolf friends obviously had cursing problems.
He spoke one of his thoughts. “What if she wants me to? He asked arrogantly. I bet that would make your day, wouldn’t it? After brainwashing her to go with you, she’ll finally realize who she really wants to be with.
Behind me, Bella snorted in dry humor. I wondered briefly if she could see what the dog was thinking on his face, and I missed viciously again that I could read her mind.
But I knew the answer to Black’s question. I had spent endless time thinking of it when I was hunting or Bella was asleep or with him. “If that’s what she wants, then I won’t object,” I said, shrugging. I knew the chances were slim, and Alice didn’t see any changes in the future. “You might want to wait for her to say it, rather than trust your interpretation of body language—but it’s your face.” I wished I could do it now, just to show him I was serious. But it would scare Bella, and we needed to go.
Well, then, I’ll just have to get her to say she wants me, right? Shouldn’t be too hard, he laughed in his thoughts, and grinned. I repressed a growl. But she had to enjoy that just as much as I did.
“You wish,” Bella muttered acidly.
“Yes, he does,” I murmured back to her.
“Well, if you’re done rummaging through my head, why don’t you go take care of her hand?” Jacob said in annoyance, his thoughts showing how much he hated that he had no privacy. As if I needed a reminder to take care of Bella. My life was made to take care of Bella.
But there was one thing he kept thinking, and I had to make it clear that it wasn’t true. “One more thing. I’ll be fighting for her, too. You should know that. I’m not taking anything for granted, and I’ll be fighting twice as hard as you will.” There was no way I would allow him to try and steal away my reason of existence for a prize that he wouldn’t be able to keep. One day, he would imprint and he would have to leave her.
Oh, a competition with a leech. This should be fun. “Good,” he growled. “It’s no fun beating someone who forfeits.”
How dare he think I wouldn’t try and keep Bella. After what happened last fall, I would never do anything to leave her unless she wanted me to. “She is mine,” I said in a dark voice that reflected my thoughts. “I didn’t say I would fight fair.”
“Neither did I.”
“Best of luck.” He would definitely need it.
Ah, but I already have all the luck I need, he thought, nodding. “Yes, may the best man win.” I had to stifle a laugh. I was more a man than he was, in both years and maturity.
But I was allowed a little fun. “That sounds about right…pup.”
Jacob grimaced at the reference to his status, but quickly changed his face to a composed mask, much like the one the alpha wore. Just because he’s old enough to be my great grandfather doesn’t mean I’m a baby. He then leaned around me and smiled briefly at Bella. She glared back.
“I hope your hand feels better soon. I’m really sorry you’re hurt,” he said. I wish she would have thought before she tried to not my face off. It would have worked back when I was still…normal.
Bella just turned away from him in irritation.
She kept looking away as I walked around to the driver’s seat and got in. I was ignoring Jacob, since I didn’t want to read his annoying thoughts anymore. All I knew was that the dog watched us drive away for a moment before returning to Charlie.
I took a deep breath, enjoying Bella’s now clean and pure scent, free of any scent of the dog. It relaxed me now, where it used to send me into a near frenzy.
I looked over at Bella tenderly, overjoyed that we were together—alone—finally.