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A Freaky Imprint

Summary:
Jacob loses. Bella chooses Edward and runs away with the rest of the Cullens to whatever secluded, cloudy town they choose to move to. And they leave Jacob in La Push, trying as hard as he can to get over her. But then he realizes he's out of peanut butter. And so it all begins. The whole pack imprints on one girl. A girl who happens to be a vampire. Marie is running from something, and chooses Forks of all places to make her 'normal' life as a supermarket employee. But that idea is destroyed when the weird wolf guys come in and screws everything up. The pack is on the verge of falling apart over Marie. Only Sam seems to realize that she's not right at all. Can he possibly stop them from killing each other over something they are created to destroy? I'm sorry, I can't help but make it crack-ficish. Rated 'T' for language.


Notes:


1. Chapter 1: Peter Pan Peanut Butter

Rating 5/5   Word Count 745   Review this Chapter

A Freaky Imprint

By BettingAgainstAlice

Chapter 1: Peter Pan Peanut Butter

Jacob's POV

I whistled as I push the metal shopping cart through the aisles of the Winn-Dixie. Who even has Winn-Dixie’s anymore? I mean, didn’t they just like, disappear in the 90s?

Oooo, there’s the peanut butter section. I stood on the edge of the shopping cart and flew down the aisle to the goal - cheap peanut butter.

I skidded to a stop. Um, Jiff, nah, to expensive. The Winn-Dixie brand? Ew, that was gross. Stuck everywhere. I think I remember using it as glue for when I broke the table. Hey, I should give some to Leah! And Seth while I’m at it. Where did I put it? I think I bowled with it that time with Embry. Dammit.

Oooo, I’ve reached the goal - the Peter Pan kind.

Crap. It’s only crunchy. I better go get an employee.

“Um, miss?” I asked a white-blond haired woman who’s back was to me, apparently stacking some bags of dog food up on a high shelf.

Only at the Winn-Dixie would the dog food be next to the peanut butter.

The woman turned around.

My heart skipped a beat.

“May I help you?” she asked.

“Um, I…, uh, peanut…., uh, crunchy…only?” I stuttered.

She stared at me like I was mentally handicapped. “You want what?”

“Creamy.” I sighed.

She stared at me for a moment. “Umm…ooo-kaaay. Are you looking for the restrooms?”

The restrooms? The restrooms where creamy? I might want to show Quil that…

“No, um…no.” I said, my mind thinking: peanut butter imprinted hot peanut butter CREAMY hot hot hot NOT CRUNCHY!!!!

“Well, I need to do this thing,” she said, backing away slowly.

Then did my mind work. “No!” I yelled.

The woman froze, staring at me warily, probably wondering if she could get to her car without me catching her.

“I need peanut butter.” I informed her.

“It’s right there.” Apparently she didn’t want to take any chances and come near someone who might be insane.

“Umm, yeah, I need Peter Pan?”

Her brow furrowed, obviously wondering what some little flying boys who didn’t age had to do with peanut butter.

“You know, the peanut butter?” I backtracked.

“Oh, that’s right there.” she said pointing at the crunchy brand jars.

“No, creamy Peter Pan.”

An old lady who was pulling in to the aisle paused from her buggy-pushing to stare at me.

“We don’t have any creamy Peter Pan?” the employee asked me, stepping closer to me and my peanut butter dilemmas.

The old lady turned around and walked to another aisle.

“Umm, maybe there’s some in the back,” the woman decided. She picked up a walkie-talkie, “Bobby? Are you there?”

“Yes, Marie, what do you need?”

Marie, what a perfect name. A little bit of drool escaped from the corner of my mouth.

Marie stared at me again before responding.

I wiped it away while she replied, “Um, is there any creamy Peter Pan peanut butters back there?”

“Uh…” the dude named Bobby replied, while boxes shifted around in the background, “Yep. I’m coming. Stay there.”

“Sure.” Marie replied, sticking her walkie-talkie back into her apron.

She chewed on an end of her curly hair, avoiding looking or speaking to me.

“Nice weather out.” I said, attempting to make conversation.

“It’s raining.” she replied, looking at me briefly.

“Oh.” Awkward.

I started whistling again, looking at the ceiling, trying to appear normal, but occasionally I would peek at Marie.

“So…” I started again, tired of the tension.

“So…” she said back.

“So, you work at Winn-Dixie.”

“So, you like creamy peanut butter.”

“So you work with Bobby.”

“You know him?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

“Yep.”

“He’s my boyfriend.”

Dammit.

Bobby made his entrance then, holding the jar of peanut butter.

“Uh, here’s the peanut butter you wanted.” he said in a smooth voice.

I examined him. He was way shorter than me, but a couple inches taller than Marie with black hair in a million little braids and skin darker than my own. He was also very buff, obviously he spent his days off in the gym. I already hated him.

He seemed to be examining me, like I was him.

“Uh, can I have the peanut butter?” Marie, only one still in the same world, asked Bobby.

“Sure.” he said, both of us returning to the planet.

He handed Marie the sacred peanut butter, who took a step closer to me and tossed me the jar. That was kind of insulting, she still thought I was insane.

“Uh, thanks.” I told her, then turned around awkwardly and walked to the check out. I couldn’t wait to tell the guys about this!

When I got back to the car did I realize they gave me crunchy.

Dammit.