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The Animal Within

Jacob Black was not a man of many words, instead he filled his world with thoughts. Thoughts of Bella Swan who was soon to become a vampire. Little did he know that he still featured in her mind although her heart was the possession of another man. Will he ever free himself from the curse of loving Bella Swan, and if so: at what price?

Edward Cullen was an articulate man whose world revolved around Bella Swan. She filled his senses and completed him after years of roaming the world half-empty. He knew she loved another but held tightly onto the promise that she loved him more. Will his stars be re-aligned?

Inside us all is an animal raging to be free but you only know too late when it’s been set loose... And once it has, is there any chance of caging the beast?


5. Chapter 5: A Lone Wolf

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Edward pulled his arms around me, “Bella. I know this is going to be hard… You have to stay here, if you go down now Sam won’t be safe.”

I could feel sadness in my eyes but the longing took over. “Edward… I want him so bad… Sam has always been nice to me, but his blood… It’s so thick, so…” I shuddered. I could no longer smell blood the way I had that day in Biology. It was different, seductive… I moved further into Edward’s embrace willing him to clutch me tighter knowing that I couldn’t be trusted.

The wind picked up and his scent was carried through the window. I growled, imagining his blood slipping slowly down my throat. I wanted it so bad…

Edward’s voice was a mere whisper and his words tickled my neck as they seduced the air with their velvet touch. “Werewolves taste terrible,” he joked. “Their blood smells delightful, but focus. At the moment all you smell is the blood: it’s what your body wants more than anything. It’s the first time you’ve smelt blood so it’s like sitting in a toy store and looking at a teddy bear for the first time. You think you need it. But your brain is filtering out the other smell, the disgusting one. Like the kid in the toy store you’re ignoring the price… You’re ignoring everything undesirable. Try to ignore the blood, focus on the fur. I know you can sense it being tossed in the wind, pick up the scent of the fur.”

I tried. At first I was only concentrating harder on the blood and my body fought against Edward’s hold on me, but then I picked up something new. It wasn’t disgusting: it was equally as seductive, just not as thick.

Edward groaned, “Damn. You’ve probably gone to far, it’s more blood isn’t it?” I nodded. “That’s a deer. Focus on Sam’s blood and try again from there.”

I did and after a long struggle I was able to not only sense his fur but smell it too. I recoiled in Edward’s arms. It smelt like a wet dog mixed with the strong smell of acid eating away at burning plastic. I sniffed again and shuddered with disgust. The scent was more complex: it had more layers as equally disgusting as the first. I was intrigued: the smell was so compact; I’d never imagined such a smell could exist. It wasn’t a mere smell, it was too much for just one sense to hold…

I felt Edward’s arms relax but I moved closer. I was already pressed up against him with my arms around my neck but I squeezed gently, “Do I still smell delicious?”

He smiled and tightened his arms that were curled around me, whispering into my hair, “It’s a different kind of smell. It’s sweeter and I want you more than ever. But in a different way… I can’t describe it.”

I pulled away from him and leant on my elbow, looking deep into his eyes, trying to imagine them as emeralds, the way they once were… I knew he was looking at me trying to ignore the new colour of mine. “I bet you could show me how you feel.”

He laughed, “I could, I’m sure. But now isn’t the time.” His eyes shone and he was quiet, I knew what he was thinking: I was thinking it too. He sighed, “Well, if you focus on the smell of fur, like I told you, then maybe we can go downstairs and try and find out about… Jacob.”

I hesitated. I knew there was something he wasn’t telling me… Did he know that when I closed my eyes I dreamt, not of him, but of another man? Was he showing that he had won because I could no longer dream of another life? Bella, don’t be silly. Maybe he just knew how much Jacob meant to me. “If you want.” I offered weakly.

He kissed me gently, then passionately and I lost myself. I could live without dreaming of Jacob. I would live the rest of my life with Edward by my side and I knew I would be happy. I didn’t need anything else. “Let’s stay,” I whispered when we broke away.

“Bella, what Sam is thinking… It’s not good. I think you should hear what he has to say… I know you made your choice and I know you picked me. I also know that choice meant you had to leave a part of you behind. But you can’t spend the rest of our lives together trying to prove to me that you don’t care about him. I know you do, but I also know how you feel about me. I’m not scared; I have no reason to be. You say you love me and I trust you. You forget that I love you just as much.”

I was shocked; I hadn’t expected him to understand. I nodded, “Just know that slowly I’m learning I love him less and less whilst my love for you grows and grows.” I lifted my fingers to his lips before he could speak again, I knew he’d try to assure me it was okay. But it wasn’t. “Let’s go.”

I struggled down the stairs. My legs took some getting used to: they were stronger than I had imagined and I had misjudged several steps with my newfound strength. Half way down the stairs the smell of Sam’s blood hit my nose. I purred thinking of how easy it would be… He wouldn’t suspect me. Stop it Bella. I paused on the steps and forced myself to find the smell of his fur, I found it and looked at Edward. We shared a knowing smile and continued down the stairs.

“Edward… It’s not safe. If she hurts Sam…” Carlisle looked worried and he glanced at Alice for confirmation.

She smiled, “Don’t worry. Bella keeps changing her mind, but she’s stronger than any newborn I’ve ever seen. Emmett, go stand beside her. You and Edward will not move from her side and you will not let her go.” Emmett bounded towards them and Alice smiled again, “Much better. Now we wait.”

It didn’t take long; Sam phased outside the house and walked through the door with his shoulders rolled back. I could see him physically recoil but he regained himself. The scent of his fur had disappeared as soon as he had changed and I fought to find the revolting smell in the air. I focused on his muscles and the sweat dripping off them. I relaxed and Edward and Emmett loosened their grips. I sniffed deeply and smiled, never more relieved to be disgusted.

He growled in my direction and I met his pained gaze, “Hello Sam. Let’s talk about me later, shall we?”

He stood for a minute and we both thought about how my voice had changed: it seemed to dance through the air and I felt calmer listening to it in my head. He nodded, “We have a problem… Jacob, he’s hungry… And he is coming back to Forks.”

Edward turned away and I tightened my grasp on him. The others stood around, silent. No one broke the calm but my curiosity took over, “That isn’t a problem… Is it? If I remember correctly he likes hamburgers and hotdogs-”

“His appetite has changed…” He looked away, disgusted. “He feeds on… Women, with black hair. He tears their bodies apart before burning them. I’ve seen it in his head. At first I thought they were dreams of… revenge.” He looked up at me with a look of hatred in his eyes, I moved sideways towards Edward seeking comfort but he did not embrace me. Sam continued, “But then I checked the news… It’s real. All real… I think he is working up the courage… To kill… The real thing.”

After he had finished I searched for his eyes. Was this some kind of sick joke? After minutes of silence he looked up and I was pierced with a look coated in sadness, anger and disgust.

“What have I done?” I whispered. My mind moved into over-drive as I fought back the tears I knew couldn’t come. I felt exasperated: I needed relief. I would have welcomed the tears… I love a man who wants to kill me. I screamed and tore myself from Edward and Emmett with such force that they flew forwards and hit the wall before they had time to register what was happening.

If he wants me, he can come get me. I raced into the forest letting out a scream as my feet propelled me forwards. The wind whipped my face, trying to keep me back. But it was useless: nothing could stop me.

Author’s Note: I don’t know whether to be disgusted with myself or not. I actually had a completely different story line set out, but this one grabbed me when I opened Word and I found myself writing without thinking too much about it. Jacob, poor dear… Give me your opinions although I am kind of scared to read them! R&R! Thanks.