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Random thoughts

I put my mind in Bella's and i thougth for a while and just typed really fast. I know it doesn't sound exactly like Bella, because it is me thinking, but use your imagination.

It may be slightly confusing, but don't give up. It is meant to bring up points for YOU to think about yourself.

1. Thoughts #1-5

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Thought #1

Now, this is me, Bella. I am just thinking, thinking to myself. I do babble a lot you know. Do you think that it is possible that I am truly meant to be with, and love for eternity, Jacob Black? I don’t know, I was just thinking. But, you have to put into consideration that Edward Cullen and the rest of his abnormal vampire family is just that, abnormal. I don’t think that they were meant to still be here, alive and on earth. So, if fate had gone correctly, Edward would not be here, and I would have no doubt in my mind that Jacob was for me. But, now that Edward is here, he is my love, and Jacob . . . well Jacob is the one who gets hurt. Confusing, isn’t it?

Thought #2

Now, I am thinking again. I love Edward, and I love him with every ounce of my soul, and I am sure he loves me the same. Well, that would depend on whether he had a soul or not, but I believe he does. That is not the issue though. I truly and totally believe that I will spend the rest of my life with Edward. After my life is over though, that is another controversial issue, which I will not go into right now. But I am wondering if Jacob will be alright. I mean, will he find someone else he loves, and will he ever be happy again? I love Jacob too much to let him live the rest of his life alone and miserable.

Thought #3

I am beginning to think that when I think, I am thinking to hard and making everything more difficult than it should be, and there for putting my well being and my mental health in danger. Wait, what?

Thought #4

Love is a funny word. I don’t fully understand it, or what it is supposed to be, but I do know it is what I feel when I am with Edward. But I know it is also what I feel when I am with Charlie, and also with Jacob. So, there are obviously different layers and parts of love, but is there and supreme love. Is the greatest love the love a parent gives to a child or the comfort a friend gives to a friend? Or maybe it is the burst of passion and the feeling of loyalty you get from a lover. Or is love a myth, and is what I am feeling now with Edward all going to fade away? I hope not, because . . . well, I love him.

Thought #5

I know I am going to become a vampire. The thoughts about love, and life, and more thoughts about love, it just kind of makes me want to be a vampire more. I don’t want to die eventually and leave him behind. What kind if happiness could you possibly have, even if there is a heaven, if you don’t have the one you have spent your whole life with and love the most right by your side. I think too much.