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Goodbye, Edward.

Summary:
After Edward left (New Moon), Bella was in pain. Jacob came, eventually, and eased her of that pain. What would have happened if Bella allowed Jacob into her life completely, and let go of Edward?


Notes:
I had this story on my old account that was first Celina Aarem, like this, then changed to Mrs Masochistic Lion, and now I moved to this account, again Celina Aarem. Sorry for any confusion!!


1. Goodbye, Edward

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1581   Review this Chapter

“Come to mommy, come on, you can do it!” I said in a sing-songy voice. “Come here, Sammy!”

“Bella, he’s only six months old. I don’t think he’ll be walking any time soon.” Jake came in the room, scooped Sammy up, and sat down next to me on the floor. “Say dada! Come on, say dada!” I smiled. When—I still couldn’t even think his name without flinching—he left, I fell apart. I thought I would never be healed. When Jacob left me, too, I broke again. Then I found out he was a werewolf, and that Victoria was still looking for me, I thought I should just kill myself to keep everyone else out of danger. But Jake and his werewolf pack saved the day—or more like my life—and everything was right again. Except that huge hole left by him. But I tried to get over it, actually went to senior prom on my own free will, graduated from Dartmouth with a doctorates degree in psychology, and never lost touch with Jacob, who lost his werewolf-y-ness after Victoria and Laurent were taken care of. He became a surveyor and we got married just a year and a half ago, and we had our son six months ago. I was so drugged up that when the doctor asked what we wanted to name him, I said his name. It surprised Jacob, that much I could tell, but I didn’t know why at the time. He went with it, though. After the medications had done their rounds, I started flinching whenever I said his name, and tried to avoid it as much as possible. Jake suggested we call him by his middle name, Sammy. So he’s been Sammy ever since.

“Come on, Sammy. I think it’s about time we make daddy some dinner, isn’t it?” I took Sammy from Jake and went into the kitchen. I sat Sammy in the high chair we bought him and started cutting lettuce for salad and boiling water for spaghetti. Even without him, I was relatively happy. I knew that if they didn’t exist, this would be perfect. Too much time to think wasn’t usually a good idea for me, so I clicked on our kitchen radio. That part I finally got over, and now I can’t go for too long without music. Mostly I listen to Beethoven or Mozart, because it’s supposed to be good for the baby.

“Anything I can help you with?” Jake asked.

“Um, yeah. Just…uh…put the pasta in the pot.” I noticed I had stopped chopping the lettuce, and the water was boiling on the stove. I continued with dinner and it was done by 5:30. I put it all in containers to take to Charlie’s like we do every Friday.

“I think we’re ready to go,” I said, picking Sammy up. Jake got the food and we rode ten miles in our new Volvo—another impulse moment I regretted—to Charlie’s/my old home. He, of course, was overly ecstatic about me and Jacob together, and he still doesn’t have any decent cooking skills, so we made it tradition to have dinner with him every Friday night.

“Dad, we’re here,” I said. He came out of the living room and took Sammy from me. I got the food from Jacob and put the spaghetti in the microwave.

“Hey Charlie,” I heard Jacob say. Then I heard them walk back into the living room—to watch some game I guessed—right when there was a knock at the door.

“I’ll get it,” I yelled. I walk towards the door and Charlie handed me Sammy from the living room doorway. I opened the door, smiling and as happy as can be, never expecting the one guy who could ruin it all.

“Wh-wh-what are y-y-you d-doing here?” I asked after I balanced myself again—sitting cross-legged on the ground with Sammy in my lap.

“You still live here? And who’s this?” he said oh so smoothly, sitting down at the doorway in front of me.

“No, I-I don’t. This is my, um, son, Sammy. Can’t you still, like, read minds? Like, not mine, but like, Charlie’s, and Jake’s?”

“Yeah, but everyone else was thinking about the TV. But now…” he paused and I saw his eyes drift behind me. I turned back to look too.

“Edward? Who the hell do you think you are? Showing up at my house now? Go back to California!” Dad said, not even the least bit scared of upsetting Edward. Jacob came out behind Charlie. I stood up, along with Edward.

“Hello Charlie, Jacob. I didn’t expect but Charlie to be here. But now I can see that I am intruding, and I will be on my way. So sorry for the inconvenience.”

“Damn right you’ll leave,” Charlie shouted exceptionally loud for our conversation.

“Goodbye Bella,” I heard the faint flicker in his voice as he said my name, “Charlie, Jacob.”

Something inside of me told me to stop him, to make him stay. Something inside of me told me I needed to talk to him, at least for a minute. But something else told me not to ruin the life I’ve made for myself. But while I was debating, Jacob acted first and said,

“Wait, Edward. Stay. At least to talk to Bella.” I looked at Jake, probably as surprised as Charlie was. Jake took Sammy from me.

“No, I couldn’t. Like I said, I didn’t expect her to be here.” Edward replied politely, trying to make his way outside again. But Jake stopped him again.

“Edward, just talk to her. Please.” Edward--probably as surprised as I was, but not showing it—agreed.

“What are you doing?” I whispered to Jake.

“Look, I know you’re not over him yet. After you’re done talking, you’ll either figure out that he’s just a blood sucking jerk, or that you still love him. I know you haven’t noticed, but every time we call our son Sammy, it reminds me why we call him Sammy. Why we can’t call him by his first name. It’s a constant reminder that I will always be second to you.”

“Jacob, I didn’t—” I started.

“Just go, talk.” He motioned to Edward, who was patiently waiting outside. I walked out, over to him, and shut the door quietly. A sudden rage filled over me as I thought the guy who left me, unexpectedly, was standing right here, in front of me.

“What?” I asked in annoyance at the way he just stood there, looking at me.

“I’m so sorry,” was all he said. That made me even more mad. Sorry? Sorry? Who the hell did he think he was? I never thought I would agree with Charlie about this, but here I was.

“Who the hell do you think you are?” I asked in a hushed tone, not wanting to alarm Jake or Charlie.

“I really don’t know, Bella. I’ve been going back and forth, not knowing whether to go to Italy or live for my family. But I knew I couldn’t last much longer without you, and for fear of my memory fading, I came here to maybe spend a couple of minutes in your room, see what’s left of it. Of course, I should’ve known how Charlie would react. What really surprised me, though, was you here, with your son, and Jake, whom I suppose is now your spouse. What was it he was saying about your son’s name?”

“Our son’s name,” I whispered, “Is Edward.” I choked on the last syllable.

“Oh,” was all he said.

“Look, did you just come here to make me feel bad, or what?”

“Ok, look. I’m sorry. I wish none of what happened before had. I wish we could just go back what is it? Ten years? Yes, ten years, and redo the whole thing. I wish I would have fulfilled your wish of eternal damnation then when you wanted it. If I could have anything in the world, it would be you. But I know I messed up, so just say the word, and I’ll be gone. I’ll leave. I won’t ever bother you again. I promise. Just say it. Say you don’t want me anymore. Or I will never be able to let go, and someone might get hurt.” I didn’t want to think about what he meant by that. I felt the tears starting to build up. I knew I had to think about this, but all I could think was, I have a son. I have a husband. I have a job, a house, a life. With him, what did I have? Eternal Damnation.

“Goodbye, Edward,” I whispered so softly, I thought I might have to say it again. But I looked at him, and knew he had heard. I looked up, trying desperately not to cry. Then I had to laugh. I didn’t know why, but I did. I laughed. I laughed, opened the door, went inside, and shut it firmly. But not before I heard Edward say, “Goodbye, Bella,” just as softly as I had said goodbye to him. I broke down right there, right in front of the door, leaning against it, crying but laughing at the same time. I was free. I was free of this curse I was under because I had not yet dealt with him. Edward. I could say it. I was free of Edward. I had my life, my child, my husband. I had everything. Everything without him, and I was happy.