Goodbye Doesn't Mean Forever
Edward gave up on his resolve to stay away from Bella before the jump. However, when he gets to her house he realizes that he isn't the only one who wants Bella back. PLEASE CHECK IT OUT AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! Note: A special thanks to edwardsoul for letting me post this. It has the same beginning plot, but I promise you that the stories will me very different when you get into it. Also, I'm not a big fan of the title, so I'll let you know if I change it.
As always, I own nothing....
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Life was meaningless. The world was meaningless. Existence was meaningless.
Ever since I left, it seemed that nothing had any meaning. No matter how many times I told myself it was for the best, that Bella was happier now, no longer in danger of me, I could not move on myself. I would never be able to forget Bella. Who could come even close to her? She was the most amazing creature to ever walk this earth, and now I had lost her. Perhaps I could just go back for a few moments, just to make sure she was safe. And happy. After all, I had left her so she could be happy. She’d never know I was there.
I quickly banished those thoughts from my head. Although the idea of visiting was so healing, I wasn’t sure I could handle what I was bound to see – her happy with someone else. How would I convince myself to tear myself away? When I’d left, it had been all but impossible. I wasn’t sure I would be strong enough to leave her a second time.
And I’d promised her a world without reminders. I couldn’t bring myself back, for I might lose my resolve just to check on her. She deserved better than me. She deserved someone who could hold her without trying to crush her. Someone who could kiss her without worrying about killing her. Someone who wouldn’t tempt her to lose her soul. Bella deserved someone so much better than I was. Than I could ever be.
But what if, but some miracle, she didn’t hate me for what I had done? What if … I stopped myself there. I couldn’t think like that, it would shatter my resolution to stay put in the small attic I resided in.
Somehow, I couldn’t keep the thoughts away. What if the trouble which constantly stocked her had caught up with her? I shuddered, remembering the time the idiot boy Tyler’s truck had almost killed her. If I hadn’t been there, she would have died – no human would have been able to save her. Perhaps I had been good for something…
There was no one to save her now. I just needed to check, make sure she was taking care of herself. I would only stay a few days, a week at the most, to convince myself that she wasn’t going to get herself killed. She would never know I was there, and I’d stay out of sight where no one in the town would see me. She’d never know I was there.
It would feel so good to see her again. I would be able to make it if I just had one last memory of her. Somehow, I needed closure. As much as it pained me, I needed to know that she was better off without me, to convince myself to stay away forever more.
With my plan decided, I slipped out of the attic. I would have to feed before I could visit her – I had been away for so long her scent was sure to be even more alluring than I remembered, thus far more tempting. If I ever killed Bella, even hell would be too good for me. It was a chance I could never take.
I sat on the airplane, waiting for take off. I had hunted before boarding, making my eyes a light topaz instead of the cold black they had been for weeks. Since I had left Bella I hadn’t been feeding regularly – it just felt so pointless. It seemed nothing could bring me even the slightest ounce of joy anymore. The flight attendants eyed me with interested eyes.
“He’s probably the best looking passenger I’ve ever seen! He’s traveling alone, and there’s no ring on his finger. Maybe I should write my number on the napkin for him…” the flight attendant droned on. I sighed and tried to tune her out. All of the passengers “voices” buzzed in my head. I closed my eyes, pretending to sleep while I thought.
I had been awful for Bella – no one could have been less right for her. However, my being a vampire had helped several times. I’d been able to save her from the van and those men in Port Angels. But I’d done more harm than good. I’d almost gotten her killed with James, and then Jasper had almost killed her on her birthday, not to mention that I was fighting the green-eyed monster inside me every second I was with her.
Thoughts swirled through my head until I reached Seattle, where I transferred to the plane to Port Angels, continuing my thoughts. By now, I was sure Alice knew my resolve and was smiling smugly. She had been right – I couldn’t stay away. I needed to see her face on last time. Yet she was wrong on one part. I would keep myself from interfering. I would not let Bella see me, and the only time I would hear her voice would be when she spoke as she slept, if I dared go into her room.
By the time my plane arrived in Port Angels, it was nearly dark. I was soon able to set out towards Forks, the one place that I would forever call my true home. I was there in a mere twenty minutes. I went straight to Bella’s house, sure that she’d be sleeping. Perhaps I would just check on her and leave in the morning, as not to tempt myself further. Even before I reached her house, I knew something was wrong. I could see a motorcycle outside her house, and it smelled awful. Hot and sticky – there was only one thing that could smell like this; a werewolf. Apparently, Bella had gotten herself into more trouble than I would have imagined. I listened to the thoughts, and quickly found his. The voice took me only a second to recognize – it was Jacob Black.