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Goodbye Doesn't Mean Forever

Summary:
Edward gave up on his resolve to stay away from Bella before the jump. However, when he gets to her house he realizes that he isn't the only one who wants Bella back. PLEASE CHECK IT OUT AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! Note: A special thanks to edwardsoul for letting me post this. It has the same beginning plot, but I promise you that the stories will me very different when you get into it. Also, I'm not a big fan of the title, so I'll let you know if I change it.


Notes:
As always, I own nothing....


4. Answer

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 1055   Review this Chapter

Bella fell back onto her bed. “This is awful. I don’t even want to wake up anymore. This dream is too good to be true. It’s going to be so hard when I wake up.”

I sighed. It pained me to see her be so unbelieving, but I could understand what she was thinking. She had just been told that her friend was a werewolf, and the vampire she used to love had come back. If this world were what it should be, this would only happen in a dream. But this world wasn’t what it should be, and this was certainly no dream.

“Bella, please listen to me. I came back to make sure that you were okay. I lied to you, Bella. Can’t you see that? I never stopped loving you. I just couldn’t stand seeing you be in so much danger. I can see that my leaving only made things worse. Do you realize what could have happened if that dog had gotten too close to you?”

Bella’s voice was a low whisper. “But…you’re just saying that. You told me you didn’t love me. You’re feeling guilty that Jake very nearly hurt someone when he, er, changed. Really, Edward, it wasn’t your fault. You don’t have to pretend for me.”

Her words cut me like knives. Could she really believe I was just pretending to love her to make her feel better? “Bella, I’m a good liar – I’ve had to. I lied to try to save you. I just couldn’t stand knowing that one day you could be killed, and it was entirely my fault. But I would have never guessed it would be so easy to convince you. How could you believe me? After the thousand times I’ve told you I loved you, how could you let one word break you faith? It was the most ridiculous idea – as if I could even exist without you!”

She sat there for a second, absorbing my words. Once again, I noticed how unhealthy she looked. I knew I was the reason behind this. Then tears welled up in her eyes and brimmed over. “I knew it. I knew I was dreaming,” she sobbed.

“Bella, I’m not sure how else to put this. You aren’t dreaming, and you’re not asleep. You said it yourself…how many times do you describe your dreams while you’re still in them? I’m here, and I love you. I never stopped loving you, and I never will stop. I only left to keep you. A lot of good it did,” I scoffed, before daring to look at her face. She began to shake her head, the tears still flowing freely. Her expression proved what I feared – she refused to believe what I was saying.

“You honestly don’t believe me, do you? Why can you believe the lie, but not the truth?” I questioned. Could she really just not love me? Had I been wrong to bother her? Was there something between her and that dog? I hadn’t heard it in his thoughts, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t happening. Could it be that…

“It never made sense for you to love me,” she said, her voice breaking. “I always knew that.”

My eyes tightened as I clenched my jaw. She really, truly didn’t believe me. There had to be some way…

“I’ll prove you’re awake,” I promised as I caught her face between my hands. She struggled pointlessly between my hands. I didn’t want to force her, but I couldn’t fathom any other way to make her believe me. I leaned in, extremely slowly for me.

“Please don’t,” she whispered, stopping me abruptly, with my lips just half and inch away from hers.

“Why not?” I demanded. What could possibly make her say this unless she had found someone else? The Bella I had left was always eager to cross my carefully laid down lines, but now she seemed so…cautious.

“When I wake up,” she started, and as I opened my mouth to protest, she quickly amended, “er, scratch that – when you leave again, it’s going to be hard enough without this, too.”

I pulled back, and examined her face. “Bella, I left so you could be safe. I see now that it was a wasted effort – I doubt you could have survived much longer if I hadn’t returned. I promise to stay and keep you safe forever more, if you still want me to. Please, answer this question now, and don’t try to spare my feelings. Can you still love me, after everything I’ve done?”

Her answer surprised me. “What kind of idiotic question is that?” What did that mean? A yes or a no? Once again, I wished I could hear her thoughts.

“Just answer it. Please,” I pleaded.

She stared at me darkly. If my heart could still beat, it would be out of my chest, I was so anxious for her answer. “The way I feel about you will never change. Of course I love you – and there’s nothing anyone can do about it!” she declared. I felt relief and so many other emotions flow through me. She still wanted me, just as I her.

“That’s all I need to hear,” I whispered, before crushing my lips against hers. I had been longing to do this since the moment I left her. She was still for a moment, before she began to kiss me back. I could hear her heart’s jagged patter, a sound I had longed for for months. I savored the moment, my hands memorizing her face. If she did change her mind, at least I would have this memory. I let her cross my careful lines slowly. Soon, I could feel her losing oxygen. I pulled away, to let her get air, and whispered her name. The sensation was amazing – like nothing I’d ever imagined before. Her hands trace my face, and the warmth made me feel like I could fly. I could hardly bear to pull away, but she had already passed out once this evening – that was quite enough. When I did pull away, I laid down with my ear on her heart, listening as it pumped. I planned to never go any period of time without hearing that sound.