Breaking Dawn; Revised Edition
Well for those of you who were not satisfied with Breaking Dawn and the perfection in Bella's life, this story is for you. We're taking a heavy duty (haha doodie...)vacuum and sucking out the sugar, leaving the main plot, but adding a little dash of pain and maybe a few more deaths. Hope you enjoy! PS- This fan fiction belongs completely to Stephanie Meyer...All the characters, writing, etc. etc.
M'kay, a friend and I read Breaking Dawn, and let's just say, we weren't very happy with the outcome, so we've decided to try and re-write the story with a little more drama. I also really hope I don't have to change the title because I can't think of anything creative enough. XD We're sorry if we're slow because for one, there's two of us here trying to collaborate, and we're also a little (okay, maybe a lot) behind on summer reading for this up coming school year. We'll keep it going as fast a possible though! Thanks!
2. Chapter One; Part One; Breaking the News
Rating 4.5/5 Word Count 1157 Review this Chapter
A set of cold stone arms circled around me. Edward spoke, his voice ringing like God’s symphony.
“What’s the matter, love?” My heat throbbed at the little pet name he’d taken to calling me.
“N-nothing. I’m fine,” I said, my voice shaking ever so slightly. “Just some- erm- wedding fears. It’s all happening so quickly.” His eyes narrowed, turning me around, trying to read my thoughts, straining to hear the words he’d never been able to hear.
“It’ll be fine. Is it really so horrible to be marrying me?” He laughed, though the sound wasn’t quite right; one sour note in the beautiful music.
“No! Of course not! I can’t wait to marry you! It’s just…Is it too soon? I mean, I’m right out of high school. What will my mom think? She’s going to kill me…” I mumbled the last part.
“You haven’t told her?” I rolled my eyes. Of course he knew I didn’t tell her. He was just playing innocent. I wonder how long he’d be listening to my phone calls and conversations with Charlie.
“No,” I said with a sigh.
“Well, we lived through Charlie,” he said in a reminding tone.
Telling Charlie about our engagement was probably the single most terrifying event to live through. I’d face the Volturi over him any day. I had half a mind to just elope and send him a post card where I wouldn’t have to see his reaction.
We’d been waiting in the living room for over an hour, Edward stroking my spine, trying to slow my heart down, but not succeeding. He’d flipped on a movie. Looking back now, I can’t even remember the title. We stared at the screen until my body stiffened.
The low grumble of Charlie’s cruiser could be heard outside, followed by the heavy thump of his feet walking up the driveway. The door creaked open as he hung his gun up and shoved his keys back into his pocket.
“Bells?” He called into the house. I opened my mouth, but fear gripped at my throat.
“We’re in here, Charlie,” said Edward. Charlie didn’t respond for a moment, and I imagined him reaching for his gun, but when he came around the corner from the kitchen, he was empty handed, but edgy, the way he always was around Edward. He would never trust Edward the way he did.
“What’s up, guys?” he asked politely, though his face said all he wanted was dinner and to switch on the game.
“Bella and I have something to say to you,” Edward said, nudging me lightly. I gave him a desperate look but he just nodded.
“Dad,” I said, my voice stronger than I’d expected it to be. “We- Edward and I…” Charlie’s eyes narrowed, searching my face for some sort of change before narrowing at my stomach and turning red.
“Are you pregnant?” he growled. My face flushed.
“N-No!” I gasped. “Jeez, Dad! I-we…No!” Embarrassment AND fear…Great. He continued his inspection.
“Then what is it?” he demanded. He tried to keep his temper down, but now that pregnancy was out of the way, his mind would go for the worse.
“Edward-and-I-are-getting-married.” I spat out in one word. I wanted so much to turn my face into Edward’s chest and have him take me away.
A surprised ‘oh’ was all Charlie gave. Instead of his face turning purple as I’d expected, the color seemed to be draining from his face. His eyes wandered down to my left hand where Edward’s ring and hand were wrapped around mine. He followed Edward’s arm up to his face and his color came back.
He went from white to red in a matter of seconds, his eyebrows pulling together creating that little crease so much like mine.
“Get out of my house,” he said in a monotonous voice.
“GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!”
“Dad!” Edward gave me a look and stood swiftly.
“Charlie I’m sorry.”
“OUT!” Edward walked with a human quickness to the door, without giving another glance back. I knew he’d be waiting somewhere for me, but I was angry that I’d have to calm the storm alone.
I felt tears in my eyes and kept my face down, ashamed. It was silent for a long time before I finally chanced a look at Charlie.
His face was contorted in a way I’d never seen, painted with a mixture of grief, anger and betrayal.
“Dad, I’m sorry,” I said, thinking of my mom. This face was probably close to the one he wore as she walked out.
“Bells,” he croaked, his voice as close to tears as mine. “Why? So soon? But he…” He cut off his sentence as though he didn’t know how to end it.
“Dad, it’s going to be fine. I love Edward. He loves me, and-and I,” I stuttered before saying the next part. There weren’t a lot of awkward moments with Charlie. We both kept to ourselves pretty well, never stepping into uncharted waters, but I could feel the water at my feet now, and it was something that needed to be said.
“I love you, Dad.” He stared at me for a long moment before averting his eyes.
“I love you too, Bells…But are you sure?”
“Yeah, Dad. I am. Trust me. It’s going to be fine.” I waited another minute and it still felt awkward. There was one more deed to be done before this could be settled. I stood up from the couch and walked to were he stood in the doorway from the kitchen, and wrapped my arms around his thick body. He hugged me back for just a second before straightening up.
“Okay, if you’re happy I guess that’s okay. Just know that if he hurts you,” he started, feeling the fatherly need to make promises of protection. “I’ll…”
“I know, Dad. You’ll shoot him or something or drag him away in your cruiser. I’ll go make dinner. Why don’t you watch the game or something?”
“Umm…yeah…” he muttered, a little unnerved by the emotional moment we’d just shared.
Sure everything was fine now, but the way Charlie had cared so much about me was nearly heartbreaking. You’d never know just looking at us. We’re as awkward as two left feet, but we do share a bond.
Edward pressed something cold and hard into my hand. A little silver cell phone.
“Just do it. Get it over with,” he gave me my favorite crooked smile. I looked down at the phone, my heart thumping. I was sure that Renee would be even worse than Charlie. She almost had a cow when she saw how serious I was with Edward. She didn’t want me making the same mistakes she did; marrying young, not thinking things through…
I pressed the little buttons in the order of her number and held it to my ear. The ring in the receiver sped my heart up. Something inside of me was hoping the line would be busy or disconnected, even though this was something that had to be done.
There was a small click and then her voice asked with a yawn. My stomach dropped.
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