Breaking Dawn; Revised Edition
Well for those of you who were not satisfied with Breaking Dawn and the perfection in Bella's life, this story is for you. We're taking a heavy duty (haha doodie...)vacuum and sucking out the sugar, leaving the main plot, but adding a little dash of pain and maybe a few more deaths. Hope you enjoy! PS- This fan fiction belongs completely to Stephanie Meyer...All the characters, writing, etc. etc.
M'kay, a friend and I read Breaking Dawn, and let's just say, we weren't very happy with the outcome, so we've decided to try and re-write the story with a little more drama. I also really hope I don't have to change the title because I can't think of anything creative enough. XD We're sorry if we're slow because for one, there's two of us here trying to collaborate, and we're also a little (okay, maybe a lot) behind on summer reading for this up coming school year. We'll keep it going as fast a possible though! Thanks!
3. Chapter One; Part Two
Rating 5/5 Word Count 684 Review this Chapter
“H-Hi! Mom?” I took a calming breath to keep my voice from shaking, but I couldn't help my nerves.
“Hey! Bella! How are you, honey? Phil and I are just about to leave for one of his games, so can I call you back?” she said, something rustling around in the background.
“Erm, actually mom, it’s important.” The movement stopped.
“What is it, Bella?” Her voice sounded scared.
“Edward and I are getting married.” It was so much easier to say the words when I couldn’t see her face, but so much harder because I couldn’t see how she’d reacted.
“I’ll call you back.” And the line when blank. I gasped. That wasn’t something Renee would do, was it? Was she that angry? Had I disappointed her? I looked up at Edward, who had no doubt heard what had happened. My eyes were wide and for once, my face didn’t burn with a blush.
“W-well…That went well…,” I said, giving a shaky laugh.
“Shhh,” he pulled me close. “It’ll be okay. Just give her some time to think it over. She just went to the game with Phil and will call you when they get back,” he said, being my voice of reason.
But then the phone buzzed in my hand and I gasped. After reading the letters flashing, my heart leapt.
“She’s calling back!” I fumbled with the tiny phone and answered. “Mom?”
“Bella, I’m sorry. I needed to give Phil is stuff. He’s going to the game alone. This is more important.” So far so good. Her voice was still even, without traces of anger.
“Thank you, Mom.”
“Bella, what are you doing?” she asked, and again my stomach fell. “You’re eighteen, just out of high school and you’re going to get married? Do you understand the commitment you’re making? Please learn from my mistakes! I got married straight out of high school and see how my first marriage went? I expect more from you, Bella. You’re usually so calm and reasonable. Have you thought this through? Is this some sort of rebellion? Is Charlie not treating you right? Because if he’s not, I can get you a plane ticket back here in a heartbea-”
“Mom, I’m fine,” I said, interrupting her. Her words, rather than making me sad, had created some sort of anger in me. She thought Charlie wasn’t taking care of me? Like I haven’t learned from her mistakes? Like I was getting married for no good reason? That was more than one slap in the face. “I’m marrying Edward because I love him. I HAVE thought this through, and I know he’ll make me happy. You don’t have to worry about my decision because I know what I’m doing and I know I’m young, but this is the right thing to do.”
She let out a sigh, probably thinking through what she knew of her daughter and trying to decide if she wanted to give in or take me away from Charlie. “I know. You’re smart and rational and so much unlike me,” she paused. “So when’s the big day?” I could hear excitement flowing into her voice. She enjoyed a good party too much to NOT be excited about it.
I quickly filled her in on the details, including the date, and when she should come up, relieved that she didn’t hang up again. Just before shutting the phone, I added, “Thanks, Mom, for not freaking out.”
“You’re welcome honey. I’m happy for you.”
As the phone clicked shut, I looked back to Edward, this time excited. Having the news broken to both my parents now felt like the world was just taken off my back. Of course I’m no Atlas, but in my weak human mind, it’s huge.
“Well, now that that’s over with…” my voice trailed off.
“Let’s go. Alice has been bugging me for the past hour, trying to get you to help her.”
“And by 'help', you mean ‘nod my head and just agree’?” I laughed.
“Of course. This is Alice. It may be our wedding day, but it’s her wedding.” Then he scooped me up and dashed out to the his Volvo, while I braced myself for my next challenge: Wedding Planner Alice.
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- 10 Aug 08
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