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Breaking Dawn; Revised Edition

Well for those of you who were not satisfied with Breaking Dawn and the perfection in Bella's life, this story is for you. We're taking a heavy duty (haha doodie...)vacuum and sucking out the sugar, leaving the main plot, but adding a little dash of pain and maybe a few more deaths. Hope you enjoy! PS- This fan fiction belongs completely to Stephanie Meyer...All the characters, writing, etc. etc.

M'kay, a friend and I read Breaking Dawn, and let's just say, we weren't very happy with the outcome, so we've decided to try and re-write the story with a little more drama. I also really hope I don't have to change the title because I can't think of anything creative enough. XD We're sorry if we're slow because for one, there's two of us here trying to collaborate, and we're also a little (okay, maybe a lot) behind on summer reading for this up coming school year. We'll keep it going as fast a possible though! Thanks!

4. Chapter Two; Part One; Whirlwind

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 1034   Review this Chapter

The wedding planner went through everything in a blur, and I mean that literally. She flitted in and out of the rooms, bringing books and magazines, designs and shoes, hair styles and jewelry, food and decorations. It was mind boggling how much she had planned on her own.

Edward and I simply nodded at all that she said. I didn’t care what I wore or how the house looked. For all I cared, I could get married at Charlie’s house in my sweats. A marriage should be a marriage. The decorations on the table don’t make a difference, but Alice hadn’t done a wedding since Rosalie’s wedding, and she had little to nothing to do with that because Rosalie herself wanted to plan that. Plus, I trusted Alice to do what looked nice, and what Edward would like. She hadn’t failed me yet.

At one point during the month of planning, she shuffled me away from Edward excitedly.

“You read my mind, and I’ll kill you,” she said viscously. It was always surprising to hear angry words come out of that petite pixie. She shoved me into the bathroom and whispered, “Try it on!”

With an exaggerated groan, I found a pale white dress hanging on the wall by the door.

“Don’t make me come in there.” she said in a sharp tone.

“Okay, okay,” I said, slipping the heavy dress off the hanger. “But if it rips, this won’t be on my conscious.”

She ended up having to reach her arm in to help me zip it, and then help with the buttons-- they played no role but decoration, which annoyed me a little-- before she was in the safe-zone. I could tell she was trying hard not to see me and have Edward give into temptation and ruin the surprise.

I gave a gasp as I turned around to look at myself in the full length mirror.

A little less than a week before the wedding, Esme and Alice decided to take me shopping as a bachelorette party. I didn’t completely agree with the idea, but I knew we’d be going to Seattle and while I was there I could hopefully find a few good book stores.

We borrowed Edward’s car, and with Alice driving, sped off. The day was long and tiring. Both Esme and Alice were very excited, and had me try on anything they could find. I refused to try on anything too skimpy or tight. Esme was a little better with choosing modest clothing, though the prices weren’t something I agreed with.

“Guys, I don’t need any new clothes. I have plenty of them at home,” I choked out as Alice pushed me into another dressing room.

“Oh, Bella,” said Alice, rolling her eyes. “This is for your honeymoon!”

“And what’s wrong with the clothes I’ve got? Are they not good enough for this first-class honeymoon??” I scowled and pulled the curtain shut. They still had not let on a single clue, and judging by the variety of clothes they had chosen, I couldn’t even guess the general location.

“Please, Bella,” crooned Esme. “This is our gift to you. We’re welcoming you into the family and thanking you for completing us.” I sighed and looked down at the small mountain of clothing. Did Esme realize she could play with my mind like that? Did she know I couldn’t deny her because she was already my mother?

I tried on outfit after outfit, each time, pulling back the curtain for them to squeal with excitement or gush compliments.

“You look ravishing!” they’d say, but I knew better. There was no clothing in all of Seattle--or the world even-- that could make me as ravishing as each of them.

It was almost one o’clock before I finally asked them to stop.

“I’m hungry, guys!” I whined, not really hungry, but wanting to escape this strenuous exercise.

“Oh, Bella!” exclaimed Esme. “I’m so sorry! I completely forgot about your needs!”

“Okay, Esme, you take Bella. I’ve got some errands to run on my own,” her eyes glinted secretively, but I didn’t bother to ask. There was no way I could get her to spill anyways.

Esme and I walked down the busy street towards some clothing store with a restaurant on the second floor. Esme picked at the bread they placed on the table, making eating motions, and ordered a Coke just like Edward had done two years ago, and gave it to me.

I nibbled at my turkey sandwich while Esme watched me. Eating was probably the only awkward moment while being with vampires. As soon as I was finished, Esme left a bill on the table--which at a glance appeared to have Ben Franklin in the circle- and stepped back out into the misty grey street.

“Where would you like to go, Bella,” Esme asked, looking up and down the street. My mind immediately went to the book store I’d seen just one street up.

“Actually, could we stop by this little shop I saw?”

“Absolutely. I’m sure Alice will find us.”

Excited for once, I led the way. The little shop wasn’t anything special, but there more books crammed among the shelves than all the books in the miniscule Forks Public Library. My eyes drifted along the titles, looking for something interesting to snatch off the shelf. Thankfully, Esme went off on her own to find something to read, and I found her sitting on the dusty ground near the window. The contrast between her perfection and the grunge of this little shop was so strange and made her look even more out of place, but as I crouched on the ground one aisle over, I was sure I looked as though I was made to be there.

Alice came back empty-handed, but that didn’t convince me of anything. She most likely got something and simply ran back to the car to drop it into the trunk. Whatever the case, she seemed happy about what it was.

“Ready for more shopping?” She beamed down at me, the door’s bell still clinking against the glass.

“I guess…” I groaned and stood up, dusting off my pants and sorrowfully placing the book back on the shelf. She led Esme and me back into the grey streets where I would likely die from the avalanche of clothing.