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Breaking Dawn; Revised Edition

Well for those of you who were not satisfied with Breaking Dawn and the perfection in Bella's life, this story is for you. We're taking a heavy duty (haha doodie...)vacuum and sucking out the sugar, leaving the main plot, but adding a little dash of pain and maybe a few more deaths. Hope you enjoy! PS- This fan fiction belongs completely to Stephanie Meyer...All the characters, writing, etc. etc.

M'kay, a friend and I read Breaking Dawn, and let's just say, we weren't very happy with the outcome, so we've decided to try and re-write the story with a little more drama. I also really hope I don't have to change the title because I can't think of anything creative enough. XD We're sorry if we're slow because for one, there's two of us here trying to collaborate, and we're also a little (okay, maybe a lot) behind on summer reading for this up coming school year. We'll keep it going as fast a possible though! Thanks!

5. Chapter Two; Part Two

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Barely two days later, was the night of Edward’s bachelor party. My heart sank at the thought of it. For one, the traditional bachelor party involved a stripper, and two, he’d be away from me. Oddly enough, though, the thought of him cheating on me didn’t create jealousy. It almost made sense seeing how plain I was next to him. I still didn’t understand why he’d choose me.

“What are you thinking about,” he asked, brushing my hair back was we lay facing each other on his bed.

“What kind of bachelor party is this going to be?” I asked. He laughed as the crease formed between my eyebrows.

“There’s nothing to fear, love, except that maybe I’ll loose my arm!” His eyes were dark. He’d have to hunt soon. “It was Emmett’s idea,” he started.

“Well that doesn’t make me feel any better,” I scoffed, knowing Emmett’s adventurous. brash behavior.

“No, no, Bella. It’s nothing inappropriate,” he said, touching the crease between my eyes. “We’re having a little bit of a competition. A vampire triathlon, if you will, where we compete in three categories, hunting, battle, and strength.” I raised an eyebrow. This did sound like an Emmett-ish thing to do, but why as a bachelor party? Couldn’t they do that any old night?
“You see, it’s supposed to be a test,” his voice sounded a little constricted. “To see how well we handle each other at our best because soon we’ll have to handle someone much stronger than us…” His voice trailed off as he stared down at me.

“Oh…” They were preparing themselves for when I’d become a vampire. For when I’d be a blood-thirsty newborn. “Well, at least you’ll be ready.” I said, trying to sound cheerful.

He leaned his head in so his cool forehead touched mine, his eyes intense.

“Bella, you don’t have to do this.”

“No, I want to do this. I’m just scared…I’m scared that-,” I paused, gauging his expression. His face was blank. “I’m afraid that I’ll hurt you. That I’ll loose my mind. That I won’t be the same for a very long time.”

He pressed his lips against mine. There was no sense of urgency only love, and remorse and something that made me want to stay frozen in this moment.

“You’ll be fine. You have seven vampires here, we’ll take care of you when you can’t take care of yourself.”

“But what if I hurt you?” My voice trembled slightly.

“There’s nothing more painful than you not being here,” He seemed to see that my fears were not forgotten. “There will be pain, and thirst-,” He struggled, trying to find the right words--so uncharacteristic of him--that would soothe my fears. “But then there is love and peace and eternity. Barely a blink of your lifespan, and then there’s forever.”

“Forever,” I whispered, before I pulled my face to his and kissed him. Now there was urgency. If I was going to loose my mind, it would be a long time before I could be trusted to do this. I wanted as much as I could get before that day came.

My fingers gripped his hair as my body pressed against his, wanting nothing more than to mesh into one being. His cool fingers were pressed against my back, his tongue tracing my lower lip. And then all too soon he broke our embrace, both our breaths coming in gasps.

“Bella, not now,” he said, his voice strained.

“Please, Edward,” I said, trying to pull my body to his once more, but his hands were gripped firmly around my wrists.

“I’m not strong enough to be tempted right now, Bella. Not now. Not so close to our wedding.” I gave an exasperated sigh and turned onto my back as he released my wrists.

“You know, we could get married right now.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like a Vegas wedding? Or a courthouse wedding? It’d be so fast. So simple.”

“Ignoring the fact that Alice would kill me, you do realize this could be the last of your human memories?”

“I know, but why does it have to be so complex? Why can’t it just be the two of us pledging our love? Like the old movies?” He gave a sigh, his cool breath caressing my skin.

“You have no idea,” he started, tracing my cheekbone lightly with his finger. It felt like a feather falling across my cheek. “How much I want you. How much I yearn for the day when I won’t have to hold back. The day you’ll have to stop ME because you’ve had too much of me.” I gave a sarcastic laugh.

“Like that day will come,” I scoffed and he stopped his tracing. “Edward, oh Edward,” a low growling voice called outside my open window. A smile crept across his face. “Where art thou, Edward?” Emmett continuing, Jasper’s quiet snickers barely audible.

“I believe that’s my cue,” he grinned, planting a kiss on my forehead and getting up to jump silently through the window.