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Dark Secrets

Summary:
Summary: They say that the past comes back to haunt you. What happens when a part of Edward’s past comes back to him? Say an old lover. Will he turn her away or will he embrace her?How will Bella react and handle this new information?
The prolouge is kinda depressing but read on....it's only how Edwards old lover feels about being a vampire and her existence
REVIEW OR I WILL SEND AN EVIL LEPRECHAUN NAMED (insert your choice of evil name here) AFTER YOU.....OR ILL TAKE YOUR COOKIES!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA :0


Notes:
After chapter four I might make it so the story is in edwards point of view. Review and tell me if you like that idea or if you have one to put in the story. Thanks ^^


5. Chapter 4- Consiouse Slumber

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Chapter 4- Conscious Slumber


I didn't look. I didn't want it to be real so kept my eyes closed, hoping, praying, that they would just go away. Had I not been through enough already? Obviously the world answered 'No'. They were gaining now-with that lightning speed of theirs-and were going to attack within seconds. But as they got closer I turned, not to face them. Not for anything really.


Suddenly, all the pain that I'd ever felt, all the hurt, the anger, everything hit me at the same time. It was hard to decipher the feeling-it was panic and pain and rage all mixed together, and it sent me backing away without thought, moving anywhere to get rid of what I was feeling.


I stepped backward from the cliff into the crashing waves of the unforgiving sea below. But even as I sank.... I felt no urge, no desire to escape the watery walls that pressed against me, as I knew I should. Instead I just cut off the air to my lungs and went limp, letting the waves pummel me, plunge me deeper and deeper into a dark abyss as they wanted.


Memories….


Edward and I walking down the cobble stone streets hand in hand. Edward laughing - I managed to walk right into a pole even though I was a vampire- as I complained to him that it was his fault. If he hadn’t distracted me with his smile. Edward whispering loving words into my ear. Edward promising me.....


The voice was shouting at me again. That useless, bothersome voice and this time, I didn’t try to understand what it was saying. I wanted nothing more than just that. Nothing. Simply be carried by this current or even just sink to the bottom of this lake and stay there. For eternity. Forgotten.


Memories…


Edward holding Bella against his chest in that meadow, the same way he used to hold me. Edwards loving look as he smiled down at her. Edward whispering ‘I love you’ in her ear. And finally, Edward pressing a kiss against her neck.


There would be no search called. No one that would worry about me. I was alone. Nothing.... Strange how I wanted to feel that word so bad and still I loathed it so much at the same time. It was the truth though, inescapable as it was. And I knew. Somewhere in my head, I began to scream. I think I'm still screaming. I had nothing left, just and empty heart. I hit the bottom of the ocean.


Images of Edward and Bella in the meadow flashed through my mind. I waited for assault of pain and rage to hit me as it always did when I thought of Edward with another girl, but it never came. Instead with every picture, every different emotion came more of that strange numbing feeling.


I drifted in and out of alertness-numbing more and more-not caring, not feeling, not anything. Thoughts, memories, feelings came and went. Time passed and I continued to just lie there in the wet sand, at the bottom of the ocean- coiled up on my side. The temperature felt no different than my icy skin so it didn't bother me. I could see my hair and cloak floating around me freely as I gazed unseeingly in front of me. One of my arms lay up against the back of my head while my other hand was positioned in front of my face.


I didn't blink or stir as I heard a sound from above me. I don't think I could have moved to see what it was even if I wanted to, so I just sat there. The numbing had spread through my entire body-blanking my mind and stopping my hold on reality- and I found myself falling into a conscious slumber.



As I dreamed, I heard voices. Anxious, troubled, musical echoes floating in and out of my mind. My eyes were open, but the numbness was still there, so I saw nothing more than blurs. They were circled around me, staring with those eyes. Some were gold; others were closer to onyx, but one pair I almost saw clearly. They were chocolate brown...Bella's.


Then the world swam out of focus once more and I sunk back under. I hated her. I wanted to hate her. I didn't want to try to get along with her; no matter how much Edward seems to care about her. I had a right to didn't I? After all, I didn't have a reason to like her, did I? No. I didn't and I wouldn't. Ever.


She was the reason. She was the reason this happened. The reason that I lost Edward. The reason that my heart was empty. The reason that I was numb. She was the source of my pain, my emptiness. The source of the memories I would never be able to bury and forget. Yes. She was the reason. The reason that I wasn't completely gone. Sucked under by this void of nothingness. She was the reason and I started to resurface.


I blinked. They blinked. I blinked again. They repeated my simple movement. The air was thick with suspense and no one let out so much a single breath. I tried to sit up but couldn't. So the numbness wasn't completely gone, I thought. It seemed the only movement I had was in my eyes and I looked around. I was in a room. I vaguely registered the shelves of cd's, only noticing that there was a wall of glass over looking the mountains and I guessed that I was somewhere inside the Cullen's home. But how did I get here?


Time passed and I waited. When I felt that I could, I sat up slowly, feeling the numbness wear off in small amounts. I heard a sigh of relief but couldn't tell where it came from.


“Are you ok,”asked Edward. “Jasmine?”


I looked up at him blankly. Even though I was starting to resurface, nothing seemed real yet, like I was still in a dream. I felt a hand on my shoulder and shook it off, pressing myself tightly against the couch to avoid the touch. He repeated my name and I looked from Edward and Bella and swallowed.


I was under his spell, again. I wanted him to crave my heart, my love the way I did his. A certain fear rose somewhere far, unreachable in my own mind. I was afraid to speak. Each time I did, I got hurt. It caused me pain and I didn’t want to have to suffer like that. I decided then…I wouldn’t torture myself any farther. I wouldn’t add to the damage that had been inflicted. I wouldn’t speak. Simply shake my head and look away. And that’s exactly what I did.