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A Darker Shade Of Black

Summary:
After Eclipse, the Volturi are watching the Cullens like a hawk. Edward leaves to save his family from the wolves, and Bella from the being tracked by the Volturi. Twenty years later, Bella is in the Volturi. She's alone, and broken. This is her diary.


Notes:
Remember: I'm Bella's Bff from FF.Net, so I didn't steal this story. I wrote it. Hope you like it!


2. Memories

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1373   Review this Chapter

Edward looked confused, whether the confusion was about the mention of my mother, or the mention of Aro remembering my memories. The look on his face was priceless when he finally realized that I was really here.

Oh yeah, you're probably wondering about the memories thing. That's my power.

I can erase, create, project, and change memories. But my mind, as always, is a little different than others. I can't erase, create, or change any of my memories.

Pathetic, huh?

"Bella?" Edward finally choked out, keeping his eyes on me as if I were going to disappear if he blinked. He seemed to wait for me to answer. It was a vain want, though. I wouldn't answer if they put my life on the line. Or lack of it...

Wait. I would probably be even more unresponsive if they did put my "life" on the line.

Wait, maybe I would respond, but I knew it wouldn't be pleasant for him, "I go by Isabella now." I said, an evil smile on my face, it was my most used facial expression, telling the person that I wasn't going to take them seriously, but if they weren't going to take me seriously, they were going to lose their minds.

Literally.

"Isabella! Be polite to your lover!" Aro scolded, and my eyes filled with tears at the the word. Lover. That's the last thing he is to me right now.

My mother stepped forward, out of her hiding place, ready to restrain or comfort me at seconds notice.

I exploded, "LOVER!? HE'S NOT MY LOVER!! HE'S THE STUPID ASSHOLE THAT BROKE MY FUCKING HEART!! HE LEFT ME TO DIE!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, ARO!!" I screamed, causing everyone in the house to frantically cover their ears. The chandelier fell from the the ceiling, right above my head. My arm snapped above my head, catching it easily with my pale hand.

I shared a staring contest with Aro for at least three minutes, my eyes changing colors rapidly, his own eyes staying annoyingly calm.

I crouched, and flung the chandelier at his groin, but he caught it, purposely, at the last second. He threw it from hand to hand as I raced up the stairs to my room, "Isabella, Isabella," He sighed.

I screamed, tearing through the halls, knocking down furniture, breaking vases.

I ran to my door, and opened it, and shut it swiftly, hard, but not hard to break it.

I threw myself onto the bed, and sobbed uncontrollably.

I hadn't thought about the memories at all for the last twenty years. It was hard, but I made it.

It's been twenty-two years since he left, and he's back.

All of the memories that I had kept crashed through my now damaged mental wall. All of the memories that I'd kept behind that wall flooded out. And like floods, I couldn't stop them.

My powers immediately projected everything.

"Who are they?"

She giggled, "That's Edward and Emmett Cullen, and Rosalie and Jasper Hale. The one who left was Alice Cullen; they all live together with Dr. Cullen and his wife."

"Edward Cullen is staring at you again,"

"Bella? Are you all right?"

"I'm fine."

"Be careful, I think you hit your head pretty hard."

"Ow,"

"That's what I thought."

"Does he mean you?"

"Maybe he needs help with his Biology homework," I muttered for her benefit. "Um, I'd better go see what he wants."

"Please just tell me one little theory."

"Um, well, bitten by a radioactive spider?"

"Werewolves have enemies?"

"Only one."

"You really shouldn't do that to people, it's hardly fair."

"Do what?"

"Dazzle them like that - she's probably hyperventilating in the kitchen right now."

"Do I dazzle you?"

"Frequently,"

"Anything else?"

"You did say my name,"

"A lot?"

"How much do you mean by 'a lot,' exactly?"

Multiple memories- all very painful (so painful that I'm sure everyone had left the castle by now) -flowed through my- and I'm sure everybody else in the castle's -mind.

Truly, the most painful was the painful memory was the second time he left. I'd lost so much that time. My future, my love, my heart, my mind, my soul, my other half... The list could go on, and on.

"Bella, my love." Edward whispered, his face pained. He looked like someone died.

"Edward?! What's wrong?!" I wrapped my arms around his waist, attempting to comfort him. He relaxed into my embrace, returning it for a few seconds, but seemed to jolt awake. He pushed me away from him, and I knew the pain from the rejection was showing on my face.

He looked into my eyes, his eyes switching from their depressed state to an emotionless pool of gold. I recognized the look, and immediately fell to my knees. I let my head fall into my hands, broken loud sobs erupted from my throat, "But, Edward? WHY?! AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH?!" I sobbed, tears falling freely down my face, "Why do you always do this to me?" I whispered, falling in a heap on the meadow floor.

I wanted with everything in me to die. I wanted to die a quick death, so that I would never have to feel this pain ever again.

And I wanted him to be the one to kill me, so he knew that I would and did die for him; that I would do anything for him, and so I asked him, "Please, Edward... Kill me." I whispered. I felt him fall to the ground next to me, pulling me into his arms; my sanctuary, and holding me as we both cried.

His lips found mine in a slow but heated passion. His hands caressed my face, but moved down, caressing my body. He pulled my shirt off of my body, and my bra was lost quickly after. I got tear-filled eyes, knowing that this would be the last time I saw him.

I opened my eyes, tears streaming down my face, and watched Edward scim his nose over my breasts, lovingly.

He licked my entire chest, seemingly wanting to taste ever piece of me. He pulled down my pants, doing the same as he did with my chest to the area that I needed him most.

I pushed his chest when he seemed to hesitate. It took him by surprise, and he fell onto his back. I kissed his entire face, behind his ear, then kissed his neck. I needed him.

My heart was in pain. So much pain. I pulled his shirt over his head, kissing down his beautiful chest, until I got to his delicious hip bones. I licked his skin, hearing him whisper my name over and over again.

I pulled down his pants, dragging his boxers down with them. I kissed all around his member, before placing feather-light kisses all over it. Hearing him moan my name pushed me to my next step. I pulled it into my mouth, swirling my mouth around his thickness. It was a few minutes before his cold release filled my mouth. He was panting unneeded breaths, he pulled me up, and pushed himself into me.

I couldn't even feel the pain. I was in too much emotional pain to feel it. He pulled out, pushing back into me again and again. Our cries of pleasure were lost in the silent of the night.

I'd woken up to nobody. Silent tears streamed down my face as I looked upon my empty room. He was gone. Forever. I collapsed back into my bed. Feeling a small object in my hand, I opened it to see a silver chain, holding a silver heart locket. I opened it, and found a picture on one side of us in the meadow. It was extremely heart-breaking. And when I saw the other side, my heart shattered, and the tears flowed quickly down my face:

And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.

I crept back into reality for a few moments, to feel my mother's arms wrapped around my sobbing, broken, limp body. I looked up into her eyes for a brief moment, before my eyes rolled to the back of my head, my eyes drifting shut, my body shutting down completely. And one final thought crossed my mind. Someone did die that night. It had been me.