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Maybe...Just Maybe

Summary:
What if Alice didn't see Bella jump? Bella is starting out her day like every other since Edward left. But she finds something that she never expected.She starts a journey to find true happiness but gets caught up in a war that threatens her life... And not to mention everything she's ever known, loved, and hated.
CHAPTER 24 IS UP-The last chapter!!!!!Check out the second and third stories in the series: Heaven Help Us and Confidence! COME ON GUYS!!!!! REVIEW!!!!! I KNOW YOU WANT TO!!!!!!


Notes:


1. Discovery

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1083   Review this Chapter

I woke up in the morning to the loud beep of my alarm clock. I groggily slammed my hand onto the button that would turn it off, but I missed and my hand hit my bed side table. My hand throbbing, I fumbled for the button more carefully and turned the annoying sound off. I slowly got dressed, wanting to drag out the process as long as possible. Ever since he left I never wanted to have a free moment to let my thoughts stray. But, while brushing my teeth I let my thoughts drift a little bit. Jumping off the cliff was stupid. If it wasn’t for Jake I would be dead. Though being dead would be a welcome relief from the horror my life was. What if I just slit my wrist? I would be safe from the memories. And it’s not like anyone would miss me. Except Jake, Renee and Charlie. But that’s three out of a few billion in the world. And seven of those billion especially won’t miss me. I stopped my train of thought when I doubled over, clutching my stomach in an attempt to keep the pain away. I gasped for air and tears ran down my face. My body racked with sobs and I could feel my chest contracting. I quickly stood up and opened the window. The same window that he always came thought. I started to hyperventilate and I collapsed on the floor. I tried desperately to distract my self. After a few minutes, I calmed down and walked out of the room.

After months of having to hide from my thoughts I finally realized what I had to do. I had to move on. I knew that I was only staying in Forks because I had the faintest hope that he would come back. But it became all too clear. He wasn’t coming back. I had to leave Forks. Fast. Everything in that small town reminded me of him. And he is the only thing that I have to forget. Maybe I could move on. Maybe after experiencing true love, I could find it again.

Before I could talk myself out of it, I rushed into my room, grabbing everything that I needed. I had a small duffle bag filled with clothes money and personal hygiene items. Before I get out of the room though, I tripped over my own two feet and knocked over my bed side table. I watched in horror as my alarm clock, a few heavy text books and some other small items fell to the floor. Not wanting to leave Charlie with a mess after I left, I started to pick everything up. But, I noticed that a floorboard that the heavy items hit was at an odd angle. I pulled on the end of the floor board and watched in amazement as it lifted off the floor with hardly any effort. But my amazement turned to shock when I saw what was under the floorboard. Tears welled up in my eyes as I laid eyes on everything that he took the night he left me. The CD, the pictures…everything was there. But he didn’t take them. He left them under my feet. But why? Did he feel guilty? Or did he want me to have a personal reminder of him? My thoughts were interrupted when I erupted into a new fit of sobs. With shaky hand I took a picture of him out of it’s hiding place. It only reminded me of his beauty. Something that I never thought I would see again. I took everything that he hid out and placed them along the floor. I quickly plopped the CD into my CD player, relishing the sound of my lullaby.

I don’t know how long I stayed on the floor curled into a ball, but it was late by the time I picked myself up. My eyes were dry, but my face was puffy from the tears. All the time I was on the floor, I figured out what I wanted to do. Edward must have left those things there for a reason. He must of not intended me to find them, but then why? The answer dawned on me then. It sounded ridiculous, no impossible. But I couldn’t think of any other reason why he would of done that. Maybe, just maybe…Edward never stopped loving me…

I wiped those thoughts from my mind. Edward told me clearly that he did not love me. But what if…NO! I couldn’t let myself hope! If he did love me he never would of left. He left because he was tired of me. Despite the pain that come of it, I made myself remember those few words that he last said to me.

“And I’ll make you a promise in return,” he said. “I promise that this will be the last time you’ll see me. I won’t come back. I won’t put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life with out anymore interference from me. It will be as if I never existed.”

How stupid was he? I would never forget him. I would never let myself forget. Never. And with my new reminders of him, I couldn’t forget. But I was forgetting his voice…The velvety smooth voice was fading from my memory. I would have to do something else reckless to have my hallucinations come back…But would I really do it? After my cliff diving accident, could I risk dying again? My answer evaded me. I tried to decide but I was tightly drawn to both options. On one hand, I needed my hallucinations. I was addicted to them. But on the other, I could let myself die. Charlie would be devastated. What should I do?

I realized that I would be late for work, so I rushed out the door and quickly turned on my truck. While driving, I thought. A lot. Did Edward still love me? No. Of course not. He told me clearly enough. But what about the pictures? He just felt guilty. Of course he did. I shouldn’t be giving up hope.

But even as I thought that, there was a place in the back of my mind yelling the opposite of what I was so definite on. What if…What if I was living in a lie? Maybe Edward did still love me? Maybe…I pondered this as I drove to Newton’s.