Before The Dawn
And maybe tonight, We'll fly so far away,We'll be lost before the dawn...--'“I’m…sorry,” I whisper. My voice breaks. “I’m sorry,” I repeat. I spread my arms out like an eagle, letting another tear trickle out. There is pain—lots of pain. And regrets—too many regrets. I drag in another gasp of breath and let my foot take the last step back. My body tips over, and I let go.' ----- It's another new year, and Carlisle is hunting in a secluded forest spot when he comes across the scent of a human. He finds a beautiful girl, lying mangled on the ground in a pool of her own blood, coming closer and closer to being pulled into the ocean by the growing tide. Her heart beats are slowing, and she is muttering just one word. "Sorry." He is reminded of Esme, his true love, when he had rescued her directly from the jaws of death. Acting on instinct, he picks up the dying girl and bites her. Basically, what if Bella had joined Carlisle's coven earlier? Before she ever met Edward? And once they do meet, what the hell happens?
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This, this a dark this is a place, I can't escape, would you leave me here?
Lying in wait, hanging like baits, strangled by fate, would you even care?
This is my cure, this is my life, this is my Christ, my crown of thorns
This is the way the way that I die, die and be reborn
Dying to touch you, I need you, I love you
To make me to mold me to break me again
I can't deny that I'm hurting inside as
I'm pulling you close you push me away
As I look just to find my existence and open my eyes
I can't breath as you push me aside
Now I feel that it's time to die as I realize how you let me believe in a lie
As I struggle with both hands and
I try to arise from the sadness inside of myself
I cannot breath, I'm burning alive cause I've lived through a season in hell
My eyes fluttered open.Where was I? I couldn’t remember anything. Who was I? I blinked once, trying to clear my mind. I tried to feel around me.
Hm. I was lying on something, I think. My weight pressed into soft down, perhaps a mattress? I felt a part of me move.
Oh. My… arm, yes, was moving. I flexed my fingers, feeling as if they had lost sensation. I let them explore around me. My hand travelled across, and I felt something soft. My hand bumped into my own leg, coming in contact with another soft thing.
Oh. They were sheets. Satin sheets, probably. I moved my other hand experimentally. Then, I moved on to my legs.
I tried to move my head, in vain attempt to look around me. I took in my surroundings.
I could see that I was in a… chamber. A… room. I let my eyes flicker across all the details. I could see walls with shadows of hung paintings on them. Where was I? I let my gaze travel to the floor. It was covered in something that seemed plush, like a covering.
A carpet. A carpeted floor. I let my gaze wander again, back to the walls. Empty shelves lined the walls. Thick blinds covered a window, maybe – a midnight blue color. A few lamps were sitting on tables, but only one was lit, casting a rosy glow in the room.
I tried to get up, and found that I could easily. I looked down at myself, surprised when my neck moved effortlessly. I was dressed in loose white material. I looked at my hands – pale, long fingers. A thin arm, a flat stomach, slender legs. I brought my fingers to my head, trailing over my features. I felt my digits pass the shape of my mouth – full – the upwards curve of my nose, the smooth skin under my eyes, behind my ears, and my hair. I ran my hand through my hair, marveling the sensation. It was long, and soft, so very soft. I brought it in front of my eyes. Glossy brown locks shone in the dim light.
Then, everything hit me like a storm. I was Isabella Swan. Bella Swan. I was dead.
So was this… heaven? Hell? Purgatory?
I remembered everything so clearly, as if it had happened yesterday. Maybe it had? The way I fell off a cliff… no, I jumped…
I looked around, taking in my surroundings. I didn’t believe in afterlife – but now, here I was, living in it. Living in afterlife. I thought about myself. This didn’t look like hell – where was the heat, the fire? I remembered some of it, at least, wincing at the memory of pain – the burning, raging fire that had threatened to eat me alive, coursing through my veins, the way my heart pumped out the charring fire instead of my bitter blood…
I remembered more clearly now. I had been in hell, and it felt like I had been there just a few hours ago. Did I get moved, then? I didn’t know what I had done to deserve hell, but I wasn’t there anymore… purgatory, perhaps?
I knew I certainly had no right to go to heaven – I had given back God’s gift of life, choosing to end mine. Was I stuck in the middle? I lay lost in my own thoughts, pondering, just thinking.
Just then, the door creaked open, and two figures stepped in.