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Mike vs. Edward (War of the Males)

Have you ever wondered why Mike Newton despises Edward Cullen so much? Perhaps Mike was the “Ladies Man” before the Cullen family arrived. Perhaps upon his arrival at Forks High School, Mike tried to show Edward up by challenging him to a series of games. Only to be defeated over and over in the end.

Have you ever wondered why Mike Newton despises Edward Cullen so much? Perhaps Mike was the “Ladies Man” before the Cullens arrived. Perhaps upon his arrival at Forks High School, Mike tried to show Edward up by challenging him to a series of games. Only to be defeated over and over in the end.

2. Battleship or E-10! Take that Mike Newton!

Rating 5/5   Word Count 2225   Review this Chapter

“Umm… Mike?” I asked as I looked over my shoulder. “What’s your address?”

“It’s 245 Cherry Lane. I live in a big white house with red trim” He answered without looking up. “Oh yeah… and we’ll be starting at 1 p.m.”

“Oh? Alright.”

“You can invite your sisters and brothers if you like as well. There‘s a pretty good sized group of us that get together every weekend.”

“Alright.” I smiled, flashing my teeth. I noted that he cringed once more. The last bell rang for the day and I sprinted out to the parking lot.

I was thankful that it was Friday afternoon. I blazed up the stairs and pulled out one of my favorite Chopin CD’s, I really needed to calm down after the day that I had just had. I thrust the first CD into my expensive stereo and threw myself on my black leather couch. I laid there brooding for a few moments and ran over the days events in my mind.

First off, my family was once again the center of attention in another small school. Secondly, this Mike Newton character hated me. Why? I really didn’t care, but I still wondered what made him hate me. Third, every stinking single girl was obsessed with my family and myself. I cringed on the inside as I thought about the last class.

Ooh, he’s cute!

Does he have a girlfriend?

I rolled my eyes, everywhere we went this happened. Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett never had to worry about that type of problem, because everyone could tell that they were together. I had yet to find the one to be with. Granted, Tanya had expressed interest last year in Denali. I cringed when I thought of her too, she just wasn’t my type. I closed my eyes and pinched the bride of my nose with my thumb and forefinger. I laid in silence for a few moments, listening to the nocturne, trying to forget about… well everything. Finally, my anger got the best of me and I sat up on the couch.

“Who in the hell does this Mike Newton think he is?” I growled, my anger finally getting the best of me.

I dashed to the stereo and took the CD from the player and looked over the titles from the last few years and pulled out my favorite Papa Roach CD and quickly jammed it into the player. I punched the correct number on the song list and “Last Resort” began to blast, I turned the volume up and began to zone out. My music was so loud that I almost didn’t hear Alice when she entered the room.

“Please tell me why I see you over at that boy’s house tomorrow?” she asked.


“Don’t even try to act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

“Oh… that,” I laughed. “I’m going to make Mike Newton leave me alone. You have no idea what I had to endure today. Every time he saw me, or was in the same room as me it was the same thing.”

“Really? And what was that?” She questioned.

Oh, GREAT he’s in my class. GREAT he’s in this class too.” I did my best impression of Mike.

“And you think that you’ll get him to back off by beating him at some stupid game?” She gave me a reproachful look.


“You know this is childish, Edward.”


“And you’re still going to go through with it?”


“That’s just stupid.” She rolled her eyes. “I’ll leave you to your… well what ever it is you’re doing right now.”

“Oh wait, he asked me to invite you all too” I spoke as she rolled her eyes.

“I am most definitely not interested in this childish display. No way!” She headed to the door.

“Bye.” Once she left, I returned to the couch and relaxed. I knew exactly what I was going to do tomorrow.


I spent most of Saturday morning hunting. I didn’t want to risk being hungry around someone that I… loathed… despised… disliked immensely. One little slip is all it would take to ruin our lives. As the clock approached 12 p.m., I went to the garage and stepped into my Volvo and headed to the local grocery store. I pulled into the first parking spot and walked in through the sliding glass doors. This place smelled weird to me, the mixture of human blood, stinky body sweat and stale donuts filled my nostrils. I couldn’t stand the smell of human food, but I was determined to bring something for the day. I walked into the chip aisle and pulled the first bag of chips I found. I made my way to the cash register and paid for the bag of chips and then returned to my car. I zoomed off to 245 Cherry Lane and parallel parked my car across the street. I had to park across the street because there were over ten cars outside of Mike’s house.

Seriously… are board games that popular? Maybe this really was something they did in this town?

I walked up to the front door and knocked.

“Come in.” The voice yelled over the music.

I slowly opened the door, clutching my bag of chips, and headed inside the house.

“Welcome dear,” a young woman spoke to me. “I’m so glad to have you here today.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Newton.” I smiled.

“Well Mikey and the others are down in the basement. Just go through the kitchen and turn to the left. You can’t miss the door.”

“Thank you mam.” I smiled as I headed towards the kitchen.

I reached the kitchen and turned to the left. There was a huge sign on the door that said, “Mike’s Game Room… Enter at Your Own Risk.”


The stale air greeted me as I opened the door and stepped down the first step. When I reached the bottom I noticed that it was empty. I was surprised though, Mike’s basement was completely decked out. There was a huge flat screen TV, that took up the entire north wall, and two overstuffed recliners. I looked over to the other side of the basement and there were four card tables all set up with different games. I noted the games as I passed by. Monopoly, Clue, Jenga, Scene It and the last table held the game that would lead to Mike’s demise… BATTLESHIP.

I went and sat in one of the overstuffed recliners and waited for Mike to come down stairs. Finally I heard footsteps above my head. I could hear them talking as they entered the kitchen.

“Okay so here’s what we’ll do…” Mike was whispering. “Eric, you’ll be behind Cullen and give me the coordinates of where his ships are."

What? My head snapped up to the door.

“Aww Mike, I don’t want to do that.” Eric spoke. “Do you cheat like that every week?”

“No, but I know that Jessica and Lauren will be here today and I want them to get over their hero worship of the new kid.”

What? No freaking way. Now I would show no mercy! I thought as I clutched the bag of chips in my hands. There was a pop and chips went flying everywhere. Originally, I was going to let him get close to beating me and then beat him in the end, now it was on like Donkey Kong.

The door opened and I stepped out of the recliner and headed to the wall with the TV and pretended to be interested in the TV.

“Nice place you’ve got here Newton.” I smiled.

“Thanks. My dad does well.” He smiled back.

I will destroy you.

I smiled wider showing all of my teeth, and once more Mike cringed. I suppressed laughter.

“Well Edward, what do you want to play?” Mike questioned.

“I thought you wanted to play Battleship?” I responded. “I’ve never actually played this game.”

Really? Perhaps I won’t need my ace in the hole. Mike thought.

“Alright, Battleship it is.” Mike laughed. “It’s really, really easy. Even a baboon can play it.”

I’ll baboon you! I gritted my teeth quietly.

“Let’s go then.” He gestured as we went to the forth table. Jessica, Lauren, Angela, and a few other girls entered the room as we headed to the table. I rushed in front of him and took the chair next to the wall. There was no way Eric would be able to stand behind me now. I opened up the box containing the pieces and looked at the letters. I thought long and hard about how to put my pieces, or at least that’s what I wanted Mike to think, as I listened to his mind.

Alright, first I’ll put my destroyer on C-1 and C-2.

C-1 and C-2.
I added mentally. Destroyer.

Next I’ll put my sub on I-5, I-6 and I-7.

Sub I-5, I-6 and I-7. Another mental note.

Cruiser on A-7, B-7 and C-7.

Once more I noted his placement.

Battleship on E-10, F-10, G-10, and H-10. Aircraft carrier on E-3. E-4. E-5. E-6, and E-7. This is going to be too easy. He’ll never beat me. Cullen is going to look like such an idiot!

He’ll never beat me… ha! I laughed on the inside. No, I’ll never beat you… no way… I’ll DESTROY you!

I then put my strategy into play, I had thought long and hard about what I should do and I decided to put my pieces in the exact same place as Mike‘s.

Why not destroy him and then freak him out? My plan was going to be all too easy.

“So who goes first?” I questioned.

“Well, I’ll let you go first,” he responded. “Since you’re new to the area.”

“You are too kind.” I lied. I knew deep inside that he wanted to figure out what my strategy was going to be and then he would make his move. I played it dumb for my first move.

“Err… how about C-10.” I asked, giving a puzzled look.

“Miss,” Mike smiled.

You’ll never find me.

“My turn,” he spoke again. “J-10.”

“Miss! Umm.. A-7.” I shot back. Mikes face turned a bright shade of red as he picked up a red peg and thrust it into his board.

“Hit.” He said, defeated. “I-10”

“Miss. How about B-7.” I smiled again as Mikes face began to turn a deeper shade of red. Once more he took a red peg and thrust it into his board.

“Hit,” he grumbled. “How about D-4?”

“Miss. C-7.” I smiled as he took another red peg.

“SSSSSink,” Mike grumbled. “A1?”

Our game continued on for another fifteen minutes, I played my part to perfection. I tried to smile innocently every time I called one of Mike’s coordinates. Every move was a hit, at least on my side. Mike’s face went from a bright red to dark red. Then his face changed from dark red to purple. He was concentrating so hard that I thought he would bust all of the blood vessels in his face. Even, the vein in his forehead began to stick out and pulsate. I laughed on the inside every time he made a move that resulted in a miss. I only glanced around the room every two moves or so, Eric looked so bewildered. I laughed even harder on the inside when I listened to his thoughts.

You are such a chump, Newton!

I had almost forgotten about the girls that were in the room. I had only been listening to Mike’s Mind. I hear the giggle of one of the girls next to me.

He’s so HHHOOOTTT! I wonder if he’ll go to prom with me? Ooh, he just looked at me. I would love to ask him out right now. I know that Mike would just die… he’s such a poser!

It took all of my self control not to burst into fits of laughter. Was this girl serious? I returned my thoughts back to the game. Then within the last few moments of our game, he finally hit and sunk my destroyer.

“C-1?” He looked so desperate. Well it’s either C-1, C-3, B-2, D-2. Where is he?

“Sink.” I smiled at him.

Finally! About flippin time! Where in the H-E double hockey sticks did he put his ships?

“E-10,” I continued to smile.

E-10! Take that Mike Newton! Victory is mine!

This was it! The final move that would end our game… I had sunk his battleship. It took everything for me not to get up and do an “I sank your Battleship, punk” dance.

“Damn,” Mike growled. “You sank my Battleship!”

The room erupted in applause and I stood up and made a huge, overly theatrical bow. Mike stood up and glared at me.

“Where were your ships, Cullen?” He asked angrily.

I turned my game board to face him. He was so shocked when he realized that my pieces were in the exact same spots as his. He looked at me with his eyes blazing.

“That’s crazy, Cullen.”


“How is it even possible?”

“What?” I gave my best innocent look.

“You’re pieces are in the exact same place as mine.” He glanced down at the floor.

“I thought that was crazy too.”

I reveled in what I had accomplished today. First, I had beat Newton at his own game. Secondly, Mike looked like a total chump. Third… well actually there was no third.

“How about we play something else?” Mike looked up at me. “I have loads of games.”

I could tell that he would challenge me until he was victorious.

“I don’t see why not.” I smiled.

Bring it on, chump! I’ll beat you anyplace, anytime and anywhere.