Set in New Moon, but Bella didn't go cliff-diving and Alice didn't come back. What happens when Edward makes another decision? What will Charlie do? What will the pack do? How will the kids at Forks High School react when they see the result?
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I’ve lost her. I left her. It hurt, but I wanted her to be safe…to be human. If my heart hadn’t long been silent and unfeeling, it would have been broken. As it was, it felt like it was ripped from my chest and torn into pieces.
I love her so, so much…why – how – could she believe me so easily? How could she think I don’t love her?
I pulled a photograph from my pocket and unfolded it, staring at the picture of the girl I love. I took it while she was sleeping one night…I remembered so clearly the flush of blood in her cheeks when she blushed, the softness and warmth of her pale skin – not as pale as mine, of course – and the way she looked at me. So much love…
The pain hit hard, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I was gasping for air I didn’t need, shaking with dry sobs.
I have to go back – just to check on her. I promised I wouldn’t interfere, that I would leave her alone…but I have to make sure. I just want her to be happy… I stole a fast car from a nearby house, and the stereo turned on as I sped away.
“I wanted you to know that
I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and
Steal your pain away...
I keep your photograph and
I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and
Steal your pain…
’Cause I’m broken
When I’m lonesome
And I don't feel right
When you're gone away
You gone away
You don't feel me lying here
I pressed my foot down harder on the accelerator, making the speedometer rise towards two hundred miles an hour.
‘I’m coming, Bella,’ I thought as I turned off the stereo. ‘I’m coming back…’
I mechanically went about my job as usual, except for a change my mind was clear and working. Victoria was still after me. I hadn’t been thinking this much since Ed– since he left me. I winced as I almost thought his name, and then wrapped my arms around myself as the hole in my chest I constantly felt rippled painfully. I bit my lip to distract myself, and then took a deep, shaky breath.
“Bella? Are you alright?” Mike asked timidly. I took another breath, this one a little less shaky, and nodded.
“Yeah, I’m alright,” I whispered, hoping I was the only one who could hear the pain in my voice. From the look on Mike’s face, he could hear it too.
“If you want, Bella, you can go now. I don’t think we’ll get too many customers in the next couple of hours,” he offered. I managed to force a small smile onto my face.
“Thanks, Mike,” I murmured, taking off the fluorescent orange vest and stashing it under the counter. “I owe you one.”
“No worries, Bella,” he assured me, although he was still cautious. Everyone was like that around me now. Except Jake…