Reminders

Reminders of her are everywhere.

A girl stumbling as she walks down the sidewalk. A laugh like bells on Christmas day. The sweet, sweet scent of freesia in a garden nearby.

I can’t escape it.

Everything reminds of her, but it hurts just to think her name.

Bella.

I wish I could cry. It feels like I should be, but the tears don’t come.

The sky opens up. Rain gushes down, drenching everything, like it always did there, with her.

Rain steps in for the tears.

I want to just fall to my knees, do something, anything, to end the anguish, but all I could think about was her.

I wondered what she was doing. She was happy, I supposed, dating someone healthy for her, human, someone normal like Mike Newton. Not that Mike Newton deserved her; not that anyone could ever be worthy of her, but they were better for her than I was.

I was miserable, but she didn’t have to be.

Still, I wondered if she wasn’t happy. If she wasn’t, I should go back there, make her happy again. At least go back and see if she was happy…

No. I couldn’t go back; I couldn’t give in. She was happy. That was what mattered, even if I was miserable, couldn’t escape being miserable.