Edward's POV of New Moon. "Time meant nothing to me, for I never slept, never hunted, never left my room. Each second was agony, always bringing up memories, her face in my mind. I was thirsty, painfully thirsty, but the other pain was so much more overwhelming that I hardly noticed."
Everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
3. Chapter Three
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Life was empty.
I sat on the couch someone- probably Alice, had thoughtfully placed in the room, along with a lush carpet and a piano, gazing at the bright, white walls surrounding me.
This was it. I left. I succeeded. I had been strong enough.
I tried to think triumphantly, proud that I had managed to do the right thing, but the thought sounded hollow.
She was gone, gone from my life, and I would never see her again. Never see her smile, overjoyed to see me as she opened the door, never see her blush furiously when she was embarassed, never hear her heart speed up when I touched her, when I kissed her...
The memory of her lips, so soft and warm, against mine was so painful that it broke through my shell, and I screamed. It was a sound full of horror, despair.
I heard the abrupt lull in conversation downstairs, but didn't care.
I felt myself fall off the couch and onto the floor. My face pressed against the cool wood, but I did not black out. I could not escape into unconsciousness. I was a vampire.
So I lay there, still, as the pain reared up like a tidal wave, and crashed over me, tearing, crushing, killing.
Time meant nothing to me, for I never slept, never hunted, never left my room. Each second was agony, always bringing up memories, her face in my mind. I was thirsty, painfully thirsty, but the other pain was so much more overwhelming that I hardly noticed.
I was hurting my family, I knew that. I heard their thoughts, Carlisle's, Esme's. They didn't come up, though, they knew I wanted to be left to my despair. That I wasn't ready yet to go out, to face the world. And probably woudl never be.
They understood, and left me alone.
Well, almost all of them.
"Edward!" The voice was imperious, haughty- Rosalie. I looked up and met her eyes, as through a haze. She was perfect, of course, beautiful, yet her blond hair was so fake, so unreal, and my mind unconsciously compared it to her lustrious brunette waves- I cut the thought off as it threatened to rip me, tear me in half from my chest.
"What do you want, Rosalie?" My voice cracked, unused for who knows how long.
She looked at me sternly. "Edward, I don't really care about your love life. I don't care about Bella."
The name hit me like a punch in the gut, knocking me back.
"You know I never liked her. I don't understand what the big deal was about her. But this- this depression is hurting everyone. It's hurting Esme, you know it is. Carlisle wants to help, but he doesn't know what to do. Jasper- Jasper can't stay in the house anymore- can't you think about how brutally your emotions would affect him? And Alice hate it whenever Jazz is depressed.
"Emmett, it's bearing down on him too. He hardly ever jokes anymore. It's been forever since someone's laughed, even smiled, in this family. And it's your fault, because you're being selfish enough to brood and mope constantly.
"You need to forget about that little human, Edward. Bella-" I fought back another cringe at her name.
"Oh, it hurts you to hear me say Bella's name, doesn't it?" she sneered, realizing, and her face twisted scornfully. "Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella..."
I couldn't let that bitch say the name one more time.
"Fine!" I snarled, leaping up. "Fine! You don't want to be affected by my feelings anymore? Fine. You don't have to. I'll leave. I don't need to be part of this family anymore."
Her lips parted, surprised. "No, that's not what I meant, I don't want you to-"
"I don't care what the hell you want me to do, Rosalie! You want me to go back and turn her into a vampire?" The thought of her, even without saying the name, burned my lips.
"I'm tired of this shit," I continued. "You want me to kill her? Is that it? I can't move on, Rosalie. I can't just forget her. I'm sorry if it's making you feel fucking uncomfortable. But to spare your feelings, I'll leave. Happy?"
I hadn't realized the rest of the family was at the door, but I thrust it open, slamming it against the wall. Pushing past their horrified expressions, I stormed through the hall, anger making me faster than lightning. I was outside the house and inside my new car- I didn't remember who had bought it- before I heard Alice call, "Edward!" and she was at the window.
"Edward, don't do this," she whispered.
I sighed. "Sorry, Alice, but Rose is right. I can't impose my misery on the rest of you, too. It's not right. Goodbye."
I rolled up the window and drove off.
Now I was no longer a Cullen.