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Back Against the Wall

Summary:
Why do the spirits hate me? What have I done in my past life to deserve this? Why were they ALWAYS pushing me back against the wall? Somehow, I had managed to do the impossible again. Me being the first girl werewolf EVER wasn’t enough- they had to go and make me imprint on a vampire.ben and leah


Notes:


3. Chapter 3

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1777   Review this Chapter

‘I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.’ I chanted in my head as I stared at the blank canvas in front of me. Trying to take my mind off Ben proved nearly impossible as irrational worries flew through my head.

‘What if something happens to him?’ pops up most frequently. Then it is countered with my common sense telling me that he is a vampire- nearly indestructible.

‘What if he’s lonely? Maybe I should go see him…’ is the second most regular. Then I remind myself that I am fighting the urge. Plus, I can’t fathom how I’m going to tell him that I imprinted on him. But I know I’m going to have to spill soon, seeing as it’s physically hurting me to stay away.

‘What if he’s with her?’ is the third most recurrent, but by far the most annoying. Tia. I hardly noticed the chick all those years ago and now all I ever think about is how she can take Ben away from me; when I don’t even have him in the first place.

Sighing, I glance over at my other finished paintings lying propped against the wall- all of them have some attribute of Ben. One of the paintings is all blue, the tint of his favorite eye color. Another painting has representation of the elements and the last one is Egyptian themed.

Then I glance at the clock, and was stunned to realize that it was already 5 am. I had stayed up all night painting. Knowing it was feeble to even try to get some last minute sleep, I began getting ready for the new day.

My apartment was enclosed and dim. Seth had remarked that it reminded him of a tomb when I first moved here. But I had felt it set the atmosphere I was going for: secluded and morose. Plus, I got to rent it cheap because no one else had wanted it.

As I walked over to my closet, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My eyes immediately stood out to me- they looked…different. But I couldn’t quite place what had changed.

Grinning at my insightful thoughts, I went back into my daily schedule that now included daydreaming about a certain Egyptian vampire.

Two hours later, I found myself outside the Cullen’s home. I knew Ben would be staying here- so I’m coming under the cover that I’m here to see Jacob and Seth.

Carlisle answered the door before I could even knock.

“Hello, Leah. We’re starting breakfast, if you’ll care to join us.” he said politely. You gotta love Carlisle; he doesn’t ask awkward questions like ‘Why are you here?’

I smiled warmly, nodding my head as I entered.

“And Ben is in the living room”, Carlisle whispered so lightly that I could hardly hear him. I groaned. Jacob and his huge, gargantuan, colossal mouth! I was going to end him.

“Does he know?” I asked Carlisle quietly.

“Well, everyone has certainly been dropping hints. Especially Emmet and Jacob, so he knows something is going on. He just does not know what.” Carlisle said.

I groaned again.

“Great, I should’ve known Emmet wouldn’t be able to restrain the innuendos.” I grumbled as we arrived in the kitchen. The food smelled incredible, and it was in that second that I realized how hungry I was.

Seth handed me a plate with all my breakfast favorites. I beamed at him and began eating.

There were quirks to having a jovial little brother who is always hospitable.

“Who made this, it’s incredible.” I asked.

“Bella.”, they are said simultaneously as they continued eating.

“She said eventually she was going to teach me.”, Renesmee said from the island chair.

“I can’t wait. We won’t have to come here every morning to eat.” Jacob confessed from beside her.

“What’s so bad about eating here every morning?” Renesmee questioned while glaring at him.

“For starters, your dad can read minds. So he can hear, whenever I think about what we were doing last night.” Jacob said.

“Jacob, we’re married. He already knows what married people do- how do you think I got here?”, she argued. I giggled. The conversation halted.

“Did you just giggle? Who are you and what have you done with my big, emo sister?” Seth asked looking confused. I scowled.

“You better not start cavorting around the room again, or I’ll tear your head off.”, I growled.

“And she’s back.” Jacob announced while grinning. The conversation picked up where it left off, but I didn’t feel as hungry anymore. They were right, what was happening to me?

They, whoever they are, say that love changes everyone. I was in love with Sam, and after he broke my heart, I had changed into a bitter person. But this is different. I’m not in love with Ben, I imprinted on him. Sure, he is my everything now but that shouldn’t change me in any way. When the other wolves imprinted, their personalities remained unchanged. But here I was, laughing and giggling. Or maybe the change was for the result that everything with Sam, all of the hurt and guilt, had become so insignificant when I first locked eyes with Ben. Everything that had made me bitter in the first place now seems so trivial.

So I’m left with how I was before- a cynical yet compassionate young woman…not a forlorn one. For the first time since I was 18, I no longer feel like it is me against the world.

Sighing, I cleaned my plate in the sink and headed out the kitchen door. I had to face this. I had to tell him. Entering the living room and seeing him caused a bizarre sensation. On one hand, I was relieved because the pain had stopped but on the other, I felt incredibly nervous.

He immediately detected me coming in, and threw me a huge grin. Emmett sniggered in the distance and I realized we had an audience. From the look on Ben’s face, I knew he had some clue what was going on. If vampires could blush, I’m sure he’d be scarlet red. I knew I might as well jump right into it.

“Er…Ben, can I speak with you for a moment?” I asked as eloquently as possible. Emmet was fully laughing now and I saw Bella hit him upside the head in the corner of my eye. I shot her a thankful grin.

“Sure.”, he said as he got up. He followed me outside into the woods, my territory.

I went to a distance where none of the others would be able to hear us, except for Edward of course.

“So…” I began awkwardly.

“So.”, he repeated, while smirking at me. ‘Care to tell me why everyone has been shooting furtive looks and sprouting out sexual innuendos ever since you left? I know it’s has more to do with your huge crush on me than anything…”

I blushed. “What! You’re so egotistical, that’s not even close.”, I denied it.

He stared at me.

“Okay, it’s a little close. I imprinted on you.” I said while biting my lip.

“And what exactly does imprinting entail?” he asked

“You’ve seen Jacob and Nessie, right? It’s like soon as I connected eyes with you, you’ve become my everything.” I explained.

“I’m still a bit lost- even if that’s awfully poetic.”, he said while leaning against a tree. It became blatantly apparent why I imprinted on him; he is almost as disparaging as I am.

“Okay, before a werewolf imprints… it’s like everyone they ever cared for are connected. And then when they imprint, all of these connections are cut and rewired to focus only on that person they imprint on. Imagine everyone you’ve ever loved or cared for being placed in the back of your mind. You still care for them, but they don’t hold a candle to the person you imprinted on.” I explained further.

“How does this affect the person who is imprinted on?” he asked, his flawless face revealed nothing but I could practically feel the mayhem permeating from him.

“Well, Jacob said that they feel a pull towards the person who imprinted on them- and they always feel safer and happier when they are around. Is that true?” I asked timidly.

“Somewhat. I thought it was just because I thought you were beautiful.” He smirked.

Great, how am I supposed to respond to that?

“You’re the vampire and you’re calling me beautiful? Haven’t you seen tons of beautiful vampires throughout your lifetime? Hey, how old are you anyway?” I asked, successfully stirring him away from the compliment. I’ve always hated compliments.

“I am exactly 22 years young. And I’ve been that way for nearly 212 years.” he grinned.

“God, you’re old.” I laughed.

He snorted.

“Then you’re a child.”, he replied, effectively bringing out a scowl on my face.

“I am not a child.” I argued in mock-anger. I knew he was just teasing.

“Right. So, child, what I want to know is where we go from here?” he asked as he began to evade the distance between us. Then again, it is vampires’ nature to be interlopers.

“I don’t know, I’m kind of inclined to do whatever is comfortable for you.” I answer shyly.

Sam was my first and only boyfriend…and that was so long ago. I’ve forgotten about how this dating thing works.

“How about we casually date?” he asked to my relief. I nodded and smiled.

“So, how about I take you somewhere tomorrow?” he suggested.

“You do realize that we are in Forks, Washington. Where are you planning on us going?” This town had everything of necessity, but when it came to dates, you better hope the other person likes landscapes and sunsets.

“I don’t know, yet, but I’ll figure something out...” he admitted. At least he’s honest and didn’t throw me some cheesy ‘it’s a secret’ line.

Then came an awkward silence, I’ve noticed we have an abundance of those.

“How about we…?” he suggested as he gestured towards the Cullen house.

“Good idea.” I uttered as we both took off towards the house. With me not being in my wolf form, he made it back far more quickly than I did.

I walked up the steps and the first thing I heard was Emmett’s voice:

“So, did you get a little Pocahontas action? You know what I mean, the natives welcoming the foreigners and all…” he asked Ben mischievously.

He was dead…