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Tearing Me Apart

Summary:
Emily/Sam/Leah multi-chaptered fic. Set post-BD, Sam decides to find some of those acquaintances of Carlisle's and take them down. He has a new lead on the human killers, and goes on a three-week trip to get to them. Who does he elect to bring with him? The one pack member who has nothing to loose. Anymore. Leah Clearwater runs with him in dead silence, until one day she breaks down and reveals the truth. He finds he has a choice to make... again.


Notes:
So... my first multi-chaptered Sam/Leah. all the others have been one-shots. and this one may actually have a happy ending. Spoilers for BD. Adult for Leah's naughty words and possibly some innuendo in later chapters.


13. Chapter 13

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“Remember, he wanted me to say this. Okay? Just remember that. It’s not my idea. It’s his.”

She turns her head to the side. “Sit down, Leah.”

I do. Like a kid in a kindergarten class, primly, neatly, folding my legs into a pretzel and resting my elbows on my knees. “Look, I…”

“No. Me first, all right?”

She always did want to talk first. Whenever we were kids and there was hot gossip to be had, she had to have the first turn at spilling the secret, she always took the first move at truth or dare, and I really miss the days when she was my friend.

“Okay.”

“I know this hurts you, Leah. I know how hard it is for you. And I’m honestly sorry for that. But… Sam and I are meant to be together. Imprinting… it’s destiny.”

“No. It isn’t. It’s an evolutionary strategy, Emily.”

“That’s a theory,” she whispers, looking down at her hands. Her scarred hand.

“It’s his theory.”

She winces, closes her eyes, and I really don’t think it’s fair that she gets to be in pain here, because that’s totally my shtick, okay?

“All right, my turn. Imprinting… he has no choice but to love you. Do you ever think about that?”

She is silent.

“He has to. He is forced to. He doesn’t want to, Emily, but no one exactly asks before you imprint.” I quiet, listening to her shock, as she tries desperately to form words. Then I continue. “I don’t want to hurt you. You’re my best friend, I love you, but this is destroying him. It’s tearing him apart.”

“You don’t say his name,” she comments blandly. Huh, no one notices that. Well, I have my reasons.

“Yeah, because it feels like I’m drinking fire when I do. Hurts like hell. Unless I’m actually talking to him, at which time I’m usually in enough pain that it doen’t make a difference one way or another. Anyway, not the point. The point is that he’s not happy… well, he is. He’s happy, but he’s not himself anymore. The imprint swallowed him up. I don’t know who he is, he doesn’t know who he is, he’s lost. He’s drifting.”

“What…” She gulps. “You don’t think this is right for him.”

“No. Honestly, really, I don’t. Emily, while we were out on patrol…” I close my eyes. “He… kissed me.”

She gasps. “No. You… he… he didn’t…”

“I wouldn’t let him get any further than that. I punched him, actually, because I’m not letting anybody fuck me over like that, even if I happen to be totally in love with that person.”

Emily’s silence disturbs me. Finally, I catch the reason.

“Yes, I’m in love with him. You expected it to just go away? That the imprint would somehow flip it off like a switch? Not likely.”

“I… guess…”

“Not for either of us, Emily. He loves me and I love him, but he is physically forced to do whatever you want him to. Maybe you should think about that. Is it what you want? You want him here, forced to love you? You want him to be a slave to the imprint? Or do you want him to be happy?”

She stops me, with a cool and gentle hand on my wrist. “Leah, I know this is really hard for you. But I don’t believe that…”

I raise my chin. I set my jaw. I carefully spread a look of cold disdain over my face. “Emily. I’m here because he asked me to be. Because he wanted you to do this for him. Do you really think I’m dumb enough… I don’t expect to ‘get him back’, Em. I don’t think he’s ever going to forgive me for this, actually. It’s going to break his heart, losing you, getting free. I know that. And he’ll hate me for it, and so will you, but I don’t care because I love him and I have to… I have to make sure that, even if he won’t be with me, that the man I love is somewhere in the world. That he’s still the person I’d give anything for, even if I’ll never have him. That’s why I came. It’s actually kind of a sacrifice, and I’d love it if you’d acknowledge that.”