Play with the Cullens
The Cullens...and Bella...are in a play! Me and my friends actually performed it. As we did with some other play formatted stories. I will add on! THERE WILL BE MORE IN THE SERIES! YAY!
I don't think there are any spoilers...unless you aren't beyond Port Angeles in Twilight. So, enjoy! And, there is a spoiler in my end notes-so don't read it if you haven't finished Breaking Dawn! My friends, Icesong and cherryberrybug33 (who are working on their first stories) helped me A LOT on this story. I hope I didn't steal anyones work. Dress Up with the Cullens was the reason I decided on the play format.
1. The Play
Rating 5/5 Word Count 1805 Review this Chapter
Bella: I am so nervous! How did I let Edward and Jasper and Carlisle get out of this! It is SO embarrassing!
Esme: At least we are playing ourselves. I could have been switched
Alice: OH MY GOD! THE CURTAINS ARE BLACK! (cowers in fear behind Bella)
Bella: No, Alice. It’s a lovely shade of navy blue. It’s fine, come on out now.
Alice: (sniffing Bella’s hair for comfort) Are you sure?
Rosalie: Honestly, Alice. Just because that supermodel deemed black a bad color doesn’t mean you need to be afraid of it.
Bella: Black’s the color of death. She has every right to be terrified.(Alice ducks back behind Bella. Rosalie and Esme glare at Bella)
Emmett: (Pulls Alice from her hiding space) You need to face your fears! (Sets Alice down nose-to-curtain with, well, the curtain)
Alice: (Screams and runs mega-fast behind Bella, forgetting to move at human speed. Luckily, they were backstage all alone.) I don’t like dark colors.
Director: ON IN FIVE…SECONDS! (the curtain flies up and a full audience oogles at the beautiful people and Bella…awww…)
Bella: (clears throat, blushing brightly, says clearly) OH! The mall! What a smart idea, Emmett!
Emmett: Golly, thanks Bella! I love shopping!
Alice: (in a small and very squeaky voice) Lets not go to Abercrombie. Their clothes are too girly.
Bella: But I love their expensive jeans!
Rosalie: Limited Too has awesome rhinestone jeans that I want to get. Let’s go.
Esme: Now, don’t bicker. I need to find you all some more white matching socks. We can get those at Aeropostale.
Emmett: That’s sounds great! I have been needing a button-up shirt!
Bella: I was hoping to get a pair of high-heels. Those things are SO awesome.
Alice: NO! Bella, you would hurt yourself.
Rosalie: Just as long as we stay away from the food court. I, like, absorb the calories!
Bella: But, Rosalie, you are a vampire.
Emmett: (Laughing) She has a fear of food.
Rosalie: (Punches Emmett in the stomache)
Emmett: (laughs harder)
Director: GO! GO! GO! HURRY UP! LOUDER! LOUDER!
Bella: (voice wavering) Well, come on. Let’s go to Limited Too.
Esme: Do they have matching socks there?
Emmett: No, I have never seen socks there. They only sell flip flops and spin-off crocs and flats.
Rosalie: I need a pair of spin-off crocs. My old pair got gum on the bottom.
Alice: I need to replace my dark navy blue flats with some white ones. They look too almost black…
Bella: Yeah, we can get all that. Alice, is Aeropostale non-girly enough for you?
Alice: Yeah, there’s fine. They don’t have anything black. It’s nice a bright in there. (The group begins walking towards an elevator to go down)
Emmett: (pressing buttons, the group goes down….down…down…) It’s…so…tight…! I….can’t….breathe!!! (Emmett gets a claustrophobia attack, and starts gasping for air.)
Bella: You don’t need to breathe, Emmett, you’re a vampire.
Emmett: (distracted) B-b-b-b-b-but! Vampires are a type of-f-f-f b-b-b-b-b-b-bats!
Bella: Not that kind, Emmett. (The elevator stops, man, that was one LONG ride down one story… Emmett is now over his –phobia attack. Wow, that was weird!)
Bella: ALICE! SHEILD YOUR EYES! THE COLOR BLACK! (Bella dives and covers Alice’s eyes just in time.)
Alice: (Piques out of the elevator and her shoe gets caught on a step…a step in an elevator? Anyho-she falls down and lands face first on the ground. Hey! The step is gone!)
Emmett: (Bellows) OH NO! (Grabs Alice off the floor. Bella is freaking out.)
Bella: Oh my god! I knew Alice would get klutzy and something like this would happen! I just knew it! Edward’s gonna kill me for letting something like that happen! This is SO not happening…(Pacing frantically-too fast for it to be of any help at all)…Alice! Your ankle must be broken. Emmett-you’ll have to carry her!
Emmett: Okay…though, I don’t know if I’m strong enough…(his ego? Where did that go?)
Alice: My ankle! Oh, it’s broken! My ankle!
Esme: Don’t worry Alice! As soon as we finish shopping we-
Director: NO NO NO NO NO! You ARENT doing it right! (storms onto stage) Emmett, you have to hold her like this. Bella- you pace this direction! Esme- you have to be happier! Rosalie! You need to be sobbing! (Hurries off stage. Everyone hurries to fix their positions)
Bella: (mumbles) man, this sucks. Edwards gonna get it!
Alice: (whispers in reply to Bella) We’re going to tackle him when we get home. Stay well out of the way. (Bella nods)
Esme: Rosalie! What’s wrong? Do you smell food nearby?
Rosalie: Alice got hurt! It’s all my fault! If I hadn’t come up with the idea to go to Limited Too for sparkly rhinestone jeans and knock-off crocs we would never be in this situation!
Emmett: Lets go shop-then take care of Alice.
Bella: YEAH!(The group of vampires…plus Bella…hurry towards Limited Too. Which turns out to be on the second floor after all. They climb the stairs, fearing another tragic accident.)
Alice: Bella, you are so lucky to be coordinated. Some humans have all the luck!
Director: YOU ARE HORRIBLE ACTORS! THAT’S NOT HOW MY SCREEN WRITERS WROTE IT! ALICE YOU NEED TO BE MORE UPSET! BELLA NEEDS TO BE MORE ARROGANT! ROSALIE NEEDS TO BE MORE CARING! EMMETT NEEDS TO-
Bella: ONE CERTAIN DIRECTOR NEEDS TO SHUT HIS TRAP AND MAKE AN ACCURATE PLAY! WE QUIT!
Crowd: (enraged and excited-turning into an angry mob quickly)
Angry mob: BOOO! THIS PLAY SUCKS! BOO!
(Mwhahahaha! Mwhahahahahah! GO ANGRY MOBS! GO!)
Alice: Let’s go get Edward! PAY BACK!
Bella: No, wait. I’m kinda in the mood to go shopping at this one mall in Phoenix….
Alice: (face lights up) You. In. The. Mood. For. Shopping? Come on! Emmett…you and Rose can go hang somewhere…I guess. Bella and Emse and I NEED to go shopping! This may never happen again! (grabs Bella’s hand and drags her away from the theatre that they had already fled.)
Rosalie: Emmett and I can count how many girls I look better than.
Emmett: (scowling, mutters) I don’t like that game.
Rosalie: (puppy dog faced) You don’t love me?
Emmett: (forces face to brighten up) Let’s GO!
(The vampires…and Bella….were now outside the building. Alice had Bella on her back and they were running very fast in vampire-standards. Soon, almost magically, they got from Seattle to Phoenix. Whoa! It only took 5 minutes!)
Bella: that was too fast…(moaning)
Alice: it’s okay, now. Just breathe.(Bella obeyed)
Esme: Is this the mall?
Bella: (look up slowly) Yup. (Jumps to feet, gets dizzy, falls back into Alice’s waiting arms)
Alice: Let’s not tell Edward about this, agreed?
Bella: Yeah, he wouldn’t be too happy about it.
Esme: Rosalie-don’t you dare to even think about this. He would be so angry that we brought her to Arizona. And especially Phoenix.
Rosalie: (Grumbles something unintelligible.)
Alice: Let’s SHOP!(They scurry out of the shade and through a small glint of sunlight and into the front doors. Twi-hards are running about. Apparently, Stephanie Meyer was at the mall, incognito. Every Twi-hard in Arizona was on a hide-and-seek mission for her!)
Emmett: I know what I want to do- go talk to Stephanie Meyer!
Bella: I know! I need to ask her how she knew I was so clumsy.
Rosalie: You don’t have to know you long to figure that one out.
Alice: Be nice. Let me see…(eyes go blank) She’s at Haagen-Dazs Ice Cream connected to Duck U R!
Emmett: AWESOME! LETS GO!
(His outburst caught the attention of a large group of Twi-hards. Three girls, and three boys.)
Girl 1: (whispers to Boy 1)
Boy 1: GET THEM! (he pointed in the Cullens…and Bella’s…direction)
Boy 2: They’re the Cullens! Look! There’s Emmett, Rose, Bella, Alice and Esme! After THEM!
Boy 3: Doncha worry, Rachel! We’ll get them. Emmett’ll give ya that kiss you’ve always wanted. Then we can be together.
Rachel: Oh! (gasping like)
(All the Twi-hards moved together. Pushing the Cullens + Bella into Haagen-Dazs Ice Cream and Duck U R. Emmett closed and locked the doors.)
Stephanie: Gosh, thanks for closing those doors! The employees here have tried to help keep me incognito…but I think some Twi-hards were onto me.
Emmett: No problem, Stephanie. We Cullens…and Bella… are at your disposal.
Stephanie: WHAT!! (Scream, and drop chocolate ice cream on floor…awww, man! And collapses)
Bella: You could’ve given her a heart attack!
Store manager: You’d better go out the back way.
Esme: You’re right! The Security Crew is coming this way! We could bribe them, but the haggling would take FAR TOO LONG!
Bella: (pulls cell phone out of pocket and dials Edward’s number, and puts phone to ear) I’ve got an idea. (She explains her plan in a hushed voice to the Cullens, Edward on the phone)
Edward: That’s brilliant. I’ll put my part into effect immediately. (hangs up)
Alice: Your diabolical, Bella.
Emmett: (laughs menacingly) Totally.
Rosalie: (rolls her eyes) this is stupid.
Esme: You would make such a great vampire, Bella. It’s too bad Edward is so stubborn about leaving you human…the pranks we would get into? It would be just too much fun. (chuckles)
Bella: I have a book or two…. (but, that’s, of course, another story…Bella looks around Duck U R. There are ducks EVERYWHERE. Rubberducks, stuffed toy ducks, paintings of ducks. Duck lamps, duck banks. Everything you could think of. Bella paled.)
Alice: Bella? Are you alright?
Bella: DUCKS! (screaming)
Emmett: You're afraid of ducks?
Rosalie: Bella's odd, so what? Old news.
Esme: (hugs Bella and hides Bella's face) Just close your eyes. Edward will call soon.
Bella: (stuttering) B-b-b-b-but-t-t-t the d-d-d-d-d-ucks-s-s'll c-c-c-ome and g-g-g-g-et m-m-m-m-e!
Alice: No, they won't. I won't let them.
Emmett: Yeah, Bella. We'll pulverize any duck who even thinks of coming near you!
Bella: How will you know that they're thinking about it?
Alice: Edward and I have got that covered. Go in Haagen-dasz. We'll cover the door. Not one duck'll get past us.
Rosalie: (rolls eyes) This is stupid. Bella, how do you manage? We go shopping, and it turns out stupid. We act in a play, and it turns out stupid.
Alice: I am so telling Edward. And there is nothing you can do about it.
Emmett: Rose, lay off Bella. You are afraid of food.
Rosalie: Hey, Emmett! Look, its a baseball bat. Its yellow, and-
Bella:NOT A DUCK BAT!
Emmett: (at same time as Bella says not a duck bat) NOT A BAT!
(Bella and Emmett scramble for Haagen-Dasz and the seperation doors are closed and locked by Alice, who is being very nice.)
Esme: (hugs Bella again) Not one duck will ever get near you again.
Bella: I'm such a freak.
PA System: (crackling) WILL ISABELLA SWAN PLEASE COME TO THEATER 8 FOR A KISS FROM EDWARD? REPEATING: WILL ISABELLA SWAN PLEASE COME TO THEATER 8 FOR A KISS FROM EDWARD? (the crowds screamed and girls of ALL ages…and looks…went running towards the movie theater. Yelling ‘I’m Bella! It’s me you want!’)
Bella: I am such a prominent figure in society. (causing a lot of laughter from her family.)
Alice: I’m shopped out.
Bella: Me to.
Esme: Let’s get Bella home. Edward is probably having an anxiety attack…and you’re probably tired.
Bella: (yawn loudly) Lets go…at a slower speed?
Alice: (laughs) of course.
Emmett: How’s that ankle Alice? Sure you can make it all the way?Alice: We are going to have our revenge.
(and that, as well, happens to be another story as well)