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Play with the Cullens

The Cullens...and Bella...are in a play! Me and my friends actually performed it. As we did with some other play formatted stories. I will add on! THERE WILL BE MORE IN THE SERIES! YAY!

I don't think there are any spoilers...unless you aren't beyond Port Angeles in Twilight. So, enjoy! And, there is a spoiler in my end notes-so don't read it if you haven't finished Breaking Dawn! My friends, Icesong and cherryberrybug33 (who are working on their first stories) helped me A LOT on this story. I hope I didn't steal anyones work. Dress Up with the Cullens was the reason I decided on the play format.

1. The Play

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1805   Review this Chapter

Bella: I am so nervous! How did I let Edward and Jasper and Carlisle get out of this! It is SO embarrassing!

Esme: At least we are playing ourselves. I could have been switched

Alice: OH MY GOD! THE CURTAINS ARE BLACK! (cowers in fear behind Bella)

Bella: No, Alice. It’s a lovely shade of navy blue. It’s fine, come on out now.

Alice: (sniffing Bella’s hair for comfort) Are you sure?

Rosalie: Honestly, Alice. Just because that supermodel deemed black a bad color doesn’t mean you need to be afraid of it.

Bella: Black’s the color of death. She has every right to be terrified.(Alice ducks back behind Bella. Rosalie and Esme glare at Bella)

Emmett: (Pulls Alice from her hiding space) You need to face your fears! (Sets Alice down nose-to-curtain with, well, the curtain)

Alice: (Screams and runs mega-fast behind Bella, forgetting to move at human speed. Luckily, they were backstage all alone.) I don’t like dark colors.

Director: ON IN FIVE…SECONDS! (the curtain flies up and a full audience oogles at the beautiful people and Bella…awww…)

Bella: (clears throat, blushing brightly, says clearly) OH! The mall! What a smart idea, Emmett!

Emmett: Golly, thanks Bella! I love shopping!

Alice: (in a small and very squeaky voice) Lets not go to Abercrombie. Their clothes are too girly.

Bella: But I love their expensive jeans!

Rosalie: Limited Too has awesome rhinestone jeans that I want to get. Let’s go.

Esme: Now, don’t bicker. I need to find you all some more white matching socks. We can get those at Aeropostale.

Emmett: That’s sounds great! I have been needing a button-up shirt!

Bella: I was hoping to get a pair of high-heels. Those things are SO awesome.

Alice: NO! Bella, you would hurt yourself.

Rosalie: Just as long as we stay away from the food court. I, like, absorb the calories!

Bella: But, Rosalie, you are a vampire.

Emmett: (Laughing) She has a fear of food.

Rosalie: (Punches Emmett in the stomache)

Emmett: (laughs harder)


Bella: (voice wavering) Well, come on. Let’s go to Limited Too.

Esme: Do they have matching socks there?

Emmett: No, I have never seen socks there. They only sell flip flops and spin-off crocs and flats.

Rosalie: I need a pair of spin-off crocs. My old pair got gum on the bottom.

Alice: I need to replace my dark navy blue flats with some white ones. They look too almost black…

Bella: Yeah, we can get all that. Alice, is Aeropostale non-girly enough for you?

Alice: Yeah, there’s fine. They don’t have anything black. It’s nice a bright in there. (The group begins walking towards an elevator to go down)

Emmett: (pressing buttons, the group goes down….down…down…) It’s…so…tight…! I….can’t….breathe!!! (Emmett gets a claustrophobia attack, and starts gasping for air.)

Bella: You don’t need to breathe, Emmett, you’re a vampire.

Emmett: (distracted) B-b-b-b-b-but! Vampires are a type of-f-f-f b-b-b-b-b-b-bats!

Bella: Not that kind, Emmett. (The elevator stops, man, that was one LONG ride down one story… Emmett is now over his –phobia attack. Wow, that was weird!)

Bella: ALICE! SHEILD YOUR EYES! THE COLOR BLACK! (Bella dives and covers Alice’s eyes just in time.)

Alice: (Piques out of the elevator and her shoe gets caught on a step…a step in an elevator? Anyho-she falls down and lands face first on the ground. Hey! The step is gone!)

Emmett: (Bellows) OH NO! (Grabs Alice off the floor. Bella is freaking out.)

Bella: Oh my god! I knew Alice would get klutzy and something like this would happen! I just knew it! Edward’s gonna kill me for letting something like that happen! This is SO not happening…(Pacing frantically-too fast for it to be of any help at all)…Alice! Your ankle must be broken. Emmett-you’ll have to carry her!

Emmett: Okay…though, I don’t know if I’m strong enough…(his ego? Where did that go?)

Alice: My ankle! Oh, it’s broken! My ankle!

Esme: Don’t worry Alice! As soon as we finish shopping we-

Director: NO NO NO NO NO! You ARENT doing it right! (storms onto stage) Emmett, you have to hold her like this. Bella- you pace this direction! Esme- you have to be happier! Rosalie! You need to be sobbing! (Hurries off stage. Everyone hurries to fix their positions)

Bella: (mumbles) man, this sucks. Edwards gonna get it!

Alice: (whispers in reply to Bella) We’re going to tackle him when we get home. Stay well out of the way. (Bella nods)

Esme: Rosalie! What’s wrong? Do you smell food nearby?

Rosalie: Alice got hurt! It’s all my fault! If I hadn’t come up with the idea to go to Limited Too for sparkly rhinestone jeans and knock-off crocs we would never be in this situation!

Emmett: Lets go shop-then take care of Alice.

Bella: YEAH!(The group of vampires…plus Bella…hurry towards Limited Too. Which turns out to be on the second floor after all. They climb the stairs, fearing another tragic accident.)

Alice: Bella, you are so lucky to be coordinated. Some humans have all the luck!



Crowd: (enraged and excited-turning into an angry mob quickly)


(Mwhahahaha! Mwhahahahahah! GO ANGRY MOBS! GO!)

Alice: Let’s go get Edward! PAY BACK!

Bella: No, wait. I’m kinda in the mood to go shopping at this one mall in Phoenix….

Alice: (face lights up) You. In. The. Mood. For. Shopping? Come on! Emmett…you and Rose can go hang somewhere…I guess. Bella and Emse and I NEED to go shopping! This may never happen again! (grabs Bella’s hand and drags her away from the theatre that they had already fled.)

Rosalie: Emmett and I can count how many girls I look better than.

Emmett: (scowling, mutters) I don’t like that game.

Rosalie: (puppy dog faced) You don’t love me?

Emmett: (forces face to brighten up) Let’s GO!

(The vampires…and Bella….were now outside the building. Alice had Bella on her back and they were running very fast in vampire-standards. Soon, almost magically, they got from Seattle to Phoenix. Whoa! It only took 5 minutes!)

Bella: that was too fast…(moaning)

Alice: it’s okay, now. Just breathe.(Bella obeyed)

Esme: Is this the mall?

Bella: (look up slowly) Yup. (Jumps to feet, gets dizzy, falls back into Alice’s waiting arms)

Alice: Let’s not tell Edward about this, agreed?

Bella: Yeah, he wouldn’t be too happy about it.

Esme: Rosalie-don’t you dare to even think about this. He would be so angry that we brought her to Arizona. And especially Phoenix.

Rosalie: (Grumbles something unintelligible.)

Alice: Let’s SHOP!(They scurry out of the shade and through a small glint of sunlight and into the front doors. Twi-hards are running about. Apparently, Stephanie Meyer was at the mall, incognito. Every Twi-hard in Arizona was on a hide-and-seek mission for her!)

Emmett: I know what I want to do- go talk to Stephanie Meyer!

Bella: I know! I need to ask her how she knew I was so clumsy.

Rosalie: You don’t have to know you long to figure that one out.

Alice: Be nice. Let me see…(eyes go blank) She’s at Haagen-Dazs Ice Cream connected to Duck U R!


(His outburst caught the attention of a large group of Twi-hards. Three girls, and three boys.)

Girl 1: (whispers to Boy 1)

Boy 1: GET THEM! (he pointed in the Cullens…and Bella’s…direction)

Boy 2: They’re the Cullens! Look! There’s Emmett, Rose, Bella, Alice and Esme! After THEM!

Boy 3: Doncha worry, Rachel! We’ll get them. Emmett’ll give ya that kiss you’ve always wanted. Then we can be together.

Rachel: Oh! (gasping like)

(All the Twi-hards moved together. Pushing the Cullens + Bella into Haagen-Dazs Ice Cream and Duck U R. Emmett closed and locked the doors.)

Stephanie: Gosh, thanks for closing those doors! The employees here have tried to help keep me incognito…but I think some Twi-hards were onto me.

Emmett: No problem, Stephanie. We Cullens…and Bella… are at your disposal.

Stephanie: WHAT!! (Scream, and drop chocolate ice cream on floor…awww, man! And collapses)

Bella: You could’ve given her a heart attack!

Store manager: You’d better go out the back way.

Esme: You’re right! The Security Crew is coming this way! We could bribe them, but the haggling would take FAR TOO LONG!

Bella: (pulls cell phone out of pocket and dials Edward’s number, and puts phone to ear) I’ve got an idea. (She explains her plan in a hushed voice to the Cullens, Edward on the phone)

Edward: That’s brilliant. I’ll put my part into effect immediately. (hangs up)

Alice: Your diabolical, Bella.

Emmett: (laughs menacingly) Totally.

Rosalie: (rolls her eyes) this is stupid.

Esme: You would make such a great vampire, Bella. It’s too bad Edward is so stubborn about leaving you human…the pranks we would get into? It would be just too much fun. (chuckles)

Bella: I have a book or two…. (but, that’s, of course, another story…Bella looks around Duck U R. There are ducks EVERYWHERE. Rubberducks, stuffed toy ducks, paintings of ducks. Duck lamps, duck banks. Everything you could think of. Bella paled.)

Alice: Bella? Are you alright?

Bella: DUCKS! (screaming)

Emmett: You're afraid of ducks?

Rosalie: Bella's odd, so what? Old news.

Esme: (hugs Bella and hides Bella's face) Just close your eyes. Edward will call soon.

Bella: (stuttering) B-b-b-b-but-t-t-t the d-d-d-d-d-ucks-s-s'll c-c-c-ome and g-g-g-g-et m-m-m-m-e!

Alice: No, they won't. I won't let them.

Emmett: Yeah, Bella. We'll pulverize any duck who even thinks of coming near you!

Bella: How will you know that they're thinking about it?

Alice: Edward and I have got that covered. Go in Haagen-dasz. We'll cover the door. Not one duck'll get past us.

Rosalie: (rolls eyes) This is stupid. Bella, how do you manage? We go shopping, and it turns out stupid. We act in a play, and it turns out stupid.

Alice: I am so telling Edward. And there is nothing you can do about it.

Emmett: Rose, lay off Bella. You are afraid of food.

Rosalie: Hey, Emmett! Look, its a baseball bat. Its yellow, and-

Bella+Emmett: NO!!!!!!


Emmett: (at same time as Bella says not a duck bat) NOT A BAT!

(Bella and Emmett scramble for Haagen-Dasz and the seperation doors are closed and locked by Alice, who is being very nice.)

Esme: (hugs Bella again) Not one duck will ever get near you again.

Bella: I'm such a freak.

PA System: (crackling) WILL ISABELLA SWAN PLEASE COME TO THEATER 8 FOR A KISS FROM EDWARD? REPEATING: WILL ISABELLA SWAN PLEASE COME TO THEATER 8 FOR A KISS FROM EDWARD? (the crowds screamed and girls of ALL ages…and looks…went running towards the movie theater. Yelling ‘I’m Bella! It’s me you want!’)

Bella: I am such a prominent figure in society. (causing a lot of laughter from her family.)

Alice: I’m shopped out.

Bella: Me to.

Esme: Let’s get Bella home. Edward is probably having an anxiety attack…and you’re probably tired.

Bella: (yawn loudly) Lets go…at a slower speed?

Alice: (laughs) of course.

Emmett: How’s that ankle Alice? Sure you can make it all the way?Alice: We are going to have our revenge.

(and that, as well, happens to be another story as well)

The End