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Day I Never Dreamed Of

Summary:
AFTER BREAKING DAWN. MAJOR SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN'T READ IT. Jacob loved Nessie since the very day that she was born. After years of waiting for her to open her eyes and love him, the way that he has loved her, something terrible happens... She finds out about his first love. Will it ever work now that she knows he loved her mother? But that's just the beginning... What'll she do? Is there trouble ahead?


Notes:
When I was reading the book, towards the end everything was just a bit to... positive? So I sat there and started thinking about how I would feel if I were... Edward, Bella, Jacob... Nessie. And this just popped into my head. Because I would not be okay with a boyfriend of mine having loved my mom. - But colour me crazy, I might be wrong...


1. You Loved My Mother?

Rating 5/5   Word Count 850   Review this Chapter

[POV of Jacob]

“You loved my mother?”

I closed my eyes, clamping them shut. I did not want to have to look into her eyes and see the pain. – To feel it with her. I could sense Bella’s body tense whilst Edward snorted beside her. My heart was racing. I never thought this day would come.

“You. Loved. My. Mother?” She spat the last word out and I hastily looked at Bella for some reassurance. She stood there, rigid and shocked with an expression that didn’t help. I remembered her anger when she found out who I had imprinted on. It was the first time I had ever really felt scared. I thought it would be the last. But today was the day that Nessie might leave… And never come back. That was a future that I couldn’t bare, that was a future I was scared to think about.

Nessie’s eyes were a brimming sea of anger, sadness… and disgust. I could feel my heart breaking and the seemingly unbreakable bond that held us together weakening. It was slowly tearing me apart.

“Nessie… I-I love you.”

“HAH,” She let out a cry. “This is so wrong. You’re so… so… old.” Edward snorted again and I lurched towards him. Was he laughing at me? Did the filthy bloodsucker find this funny? He growled in response to my thought, revealing his gleaming white teeth and I smiled wickedly despite myself. Bella quickly moved herself in front of him and I instantly stopped: I could never hurt her. Nessie flinched and I knew what she thought of my hesitation. I shook my head; that wasn’t why.

Bella’s voice danced through the air, “Nessie, we’re leaving, honey. Jacob… start talking. Really talking. I’m going to cover you both… Give you some… privacy.” She smiled quickly towards both of us and shot a sideways glance at Edward. He snorted again as she focused on Nessie and I. She then grabbed Edward and danced away leaving his laugh to linger in the room with us.

I tried again, “Nessie… Your father is lifetimes older than Bella. That’s not- ”

“That’s different! Plus he was never in love with Rene. He never thought about her the way he thinks about Mom. You… You planned a life with her. If she hadn’t had met Dad you would have spent your days together… You would have had kids. I wouldn’t…”

I didn’t know what to say. How could I ever make this right? Everything had turned out so wrong. I knew that I loved her, that I needed her. “Age… What’s age? I have loved you since the day you were born. We are destined to be together. – No, let me finish. I didn’t love you like this from the start. When you were born I loved you like a brother loves his sister. As you grew up I loved you like a best friend. When you started dating I knew that it wouldn’t work because I knew you would one day love me, because that’s the way it was meant to be. My heart was almost tore out my chest every time I saw you with another boy... Every time I had to hear about a date, a kiss… But I kept waiting… For the day that you would look at me, the way that I look at you. And it did… Almost. I have waited my whole lifetime for you. I never imprinted on your mother. Everyone told me she wasn’t the one for me, and they were right. My heart belongs to you, it always will. But what went wrong? – Why don’t you want to love me?

“Don’t you see that I love you? Don’t you see that life without you means nothing to me? Can’t you see that? Why are you doing this to me? You know how I feel. I know how you feel about me: I see in your eyes that you love me… Try to look beyond the monster that I have become. Being with you makes me feel so… good. So… pure… You complete me in every sense of the word. Without you I am nothing.”

I could feel my chest expand and my heart racing to be free from my body. There was sadness in her eyes and I knew her answer. I knew she would not give in. She might as well just rip the beating thing from my chest: I had no use for it now.

“Jacob… This isn’t love. When you love someone it’s a decision you make… Unconsciously, maybe… But you give your heart to someone else knowing that they’ll look after it for you. I need to give my heart to someone… Not have it taken away… You talk about destiny… And that’s my problem! Destiny means that there isn’t a choice. – That I’m helpless to this.”

“You can give your heart to me,” I whispered. “I won’t ever hurt you.”

She sighed as tears brimmed her eyes, “Oh, Jacob. You already have.”

And I knew it was true.