Day I Never Dreamed Of
AFTER BREAKING DAWN. MAJOR SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN'T READ IT. Jacob loved Nessie since the very day that she was born. After years of waiting for her to open her eyes and love him, the way that he has loved her, something terrible happens... She finds out about his first love. Will it ever work now that she knows he loved her mother? But that's just the beginning... What'll she do? Is there trouble ahead?
When I was reading the book, towards the end everything was just a bit to... positive? So I sat there and started thinking about how I would feel if I were... Edward, Bella, Jacob... Nessie. And this just popped into my head. Because I would not be okay with a boyfriend of mine having loved my mom. - But colour me crazy, I might be wrong...
2. Yelping to the Moon
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Why was she so hell-bent on making me suffer? It was worse than with Bella. When Bella rejected me… My mind confused my heart into yearning for her. With Nessie it wasn’t my heart that hurt. It was my skin, my veins, my bones, my… Everything. Everything wanted her. It ached for her. When she walked into a room my entire body was focused on every move that she made. As the air slid off her sculptured frame I sensed the way it rejoiced just to have been able to touch her. – To touch something so perfect… When I touched her –
Damn-it Jacob. You really want to make this hard for yourself, don’t you?
I threw myself against the floor of the forest, the trees where thick but I could see through the tops to the stars above. I’d never thought of it before, but the idea of a ‘werewolf’ would have most people think we stare at the moon… All the time… I’d never really looked at it before. Sure, I’d glanced up, taken a peek, and then continued on my way. But I’d never really looked… Observed. The surface was rough and imperfect, contrary to the romantic –
Jacob, what the hell? Romantic beliefs? Gazing at the moon? Snap out of it you big fool.
How the hell was I meant to snap out of it? When Nessie said that we couldn’t be together because of destiny… That meant that we couldn’t be together… ever. If she ever said yes to me, she’d be doing what destiny wanted her to. She’d be giving in to a choice she didn’t make.
A choice that I really wanted her to.
What is she doing right now? I smiled as I thought of her sleeping, tossing and turning, saying my name. I’d watched her many times. Even when she was dating someone else my name would pop up. It was never in a sentence, and never truly coherent but the way that her lips softly lifted at the corners… The sound of the way she said my name…
My heart beat faster as I closed my eyes and wished I were lying beside her. I would spend the rest of my days like this: dreaming that she had chosen me. I would be the sleeping man, because I’d prefer dreams to the reality of rejection.
I could live with that. I would live with that.
But what if that isn’t what she is doing? I ran through all the possibilities in my head, shuddering. Please let her be sleeping… I let out a growl and pulled back my lips to reveal the teeth beneath. I was going to scare away that thought. She wouldn’t be doing anything like that… But it twisted and vibrated in my rib cage, sounding like more of a yelp of pain. It scared me more than anything else that heard it, I was quite sure.
I was a broken toy, tossed aside.
[POV of Nessie]
I needed to get out. My head was exploding. I had all these memories that I couldn’t release, I needed to show someone… To help me bear the pain. One person came to mind. The one person who always listened to my troubles. The one person who always helped me through the hard times. The one person who was always there for the good times.
He was the one person causing me pain. I shook my head. No, I was causing me pain. Why fight something so right? When you already have the puzzle piece that fits, why keep searching? But something else had to fit. It simply had to.
I reached for the phone and grasped the handle. I knew one person who could wallow with me, and we were going out.
- Chrystina Cullen
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