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Vampire Heart

Summary:
Have you ever imagined how it would be like to find your own Edward? Because I have. And THIS came out. R&R No Bella and Cullens here.


Notes:
The special vampire kind I use in this story was created by Stephenie Meyer. The characters are entirely mine. This story is only Twilight-related. :)


18. 28th November: Wednesday

Rating 5/5   Word Count 6730   Review this Chapter

28.11 Wednesday

A bad feeling woke me up this morning, getting stronger and stronger with each passing second. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t place it, couldn’t tell what it related to specifically. Frustrated with my incapacity to interpret my fortune-telling ability, I gave finally up. I should practice more so my fortune telling would be more precise, I thought angrily while getting up.

I didn’t have to hurry this time due to my early waking. I took my time in the bathroom, calming my nerves with a warm shower. Sitting by the kitchen table and eating my breakfast, my mind drifted off to all the things that had happened recently. I had used to claim my life to be extremely boring, but now so much was going on that I barely had time to think! Truth be told, I missed the old calmness a little. Couldn’t I have Edward without all those strange and surprising things happening all the time? Apparently not. If I had to choose between having the predictability back and this crazy life with Edward, I’d still prefer him. Even if he’d bring twice as many unusual events into my existence, I’d still rather be with him. I didn’t know if I was really in love with him, but I knew for sure I was utterly attracted to him and couldn’t let him go. And even the Monster in my heart wouldn’t make me.

In spite of being slow this morning I still went out of the apartment earlier than necessary. I just couldn’t stay at home and do nothing; it was only making me more anxious. The bad feeling was increasing in strength and making me pace the room in a desperate attempt to place it. The meaning was always just out of reach. So I just grabbed my bad, threw my coat on and left home in hope of meeting my boyfriend.

The weather went back to the fall gloomy standard. When I stepped outside the building I realized it was raining and I hadn’t taken an umbrella. Just great, I thought bitterly, rushing down the pavement. Only a moment had passed before I slowed down, coming to the conclusion that no matter how fast I went, I’d be just as wet, if not more. I remembered an episode of ‘Myth Busters’ when they’d proved that you’d get more soaked when you run. I peeked at my watch; I was ten minutes early. An ugly curse almost left my mouth when I thought that I’d have to wait for my boyfriend to arrive standing under crying clouds. Just as I was considering sending the vampire a message, I spotted his car at the parking lot. Was he waiting for me this early every day?

Although it would get me wetter, I run to the Mercedes. There probably was a huge goofy grin on my face as I was getting in the vehicle. Only when I finally saw my Edward, the most glorious man on the face of Earth with his perfect body and captivating personality did I realize how much I missed him. It didn’t matter that I’d seen him yesterday; I felt a huge relief that he was here with me again. Just as if I were addicted to him; I didn’t want him to get out of my sight for any longer than really necessary. He seemed to be anxious to see me as well, because as soon as I was inside, he reached out for me and pulled me into his lap. The steering wheel made my position a little uncomfortable, but I just snuggled more into his chest and sneaked my arms around his neck. He pulled me even closer to him and put his face in my hair. My coat was getting in my way and I was just considering taking it off – it was quite warm in the car – when I felt Edward stiffen suddenly. He pulled away, holding me by my arms so he could look into my face. His expression was one of hurt mixed with anger, his irises getting dark. Warily, he searched my eyes for something, seeming to be putting some pieces of information puzzle together. After a while, I saw some sort of realization dawn on him and his jaw clenched, his hands clutching me tight as two pincers.

“It’s him!” he hissed.

“What are you talking about?!” I tried in vain to wiggle free from his painful grasp.

He seemed not to hear me, engrossed in his angry thoughts. “Why have you settled a date with him?! Do you want to torture me?! Or maybe it’s just a cruel way to break up with me?!”

My eyes got wide at his assumptions but I couldn’t respond with anything. I was finally truly afraid of him. Never in our time together had I seen him so angry with me, never had he been this violent, used this much force on me; and I knew in his rage he could easily crush me. I realized now he had never been truly furious with me. Annoyed, yes, but not really angry. All the previous rage was nothing compared to this. He was gripping me so hard I thought he might break some bones. Quick unneeded breaths were filling his lungs; his perfect brows now knitted together, his expression fierce. I saw a hint of hurt in it, getting more prominent with each passing second and making his bottom lip tremble slightly.

He must have taken my lack of answer as a ‘yes’ and held me even tighter. I thought that the hurt would overpower him completely, but I was wrong; he got even angrier, if that’s possible. Suddenly, he threw me on the passenger’s seat. I squealed in surprise and fear. Before I could blink, he was hovering over me, holding my hands on either side of my head in a vice-like grip. I was so scared of him now I couldn’t even make myself care about the steering wheel crushing my legs.

“I won’t let you!” Edward growled. “I won’t let you go! You’re mine!”

My survival instinct was screaming at me to stop him somehow, to get out of there and save my life. But I couldn’t not because I was too afraid to move; my rational part was still working just fine. I’d known it would happen after all. It had taken him some time to build the amount of anger in him to snap, but that moment finally came.

Suddenly, I was calm. No longer was I trembling with fear at the sight of my furious boyfriend. Because he wasn’t my boyfriend any more. He was just what he was supposed to be all along – a beast. Not some ridiculous human-wannabe, but a real vampire. The Monster in my heart sighed with gratitude for the upcoming end of its suffering. It would be over now; everything would be over.

Do I really want it to end like that? A small part of me I’d never heard before asked. It was faint and gentle, fragile like a newborn child. But the words were strong as they hit me. Do I want all the happiness to also come to an end?

There was happiness in my life, I can’t deny it, the Monster argued, but isn’t losing it worth getting rid of the Hurt? When I die I will finally feel nothing. Isn’t that what I wanted all along?

The voices in my head confused me. I had no idea what to do. Searching for some answers, I looked up. As soon as my gaze met Edward’s face, I knew. The emptiness wasn’t what I wanted. I just wanted to feel something more than Hurt and Hate. And HE was making me feel it. I knew that if I tried hard I could break free from the walls inside of me and be normal again. And even though after this situation I could probably be with Edward no longer, I could try on my own to feel. He had taught me the first steps; I had to walk on my own from now on.

I struggled again to break free but his hands didn’t budge. He was too wrapped up in his animalistic instincts to even notice my attempts; it was probably like a fly’s touch to him. I saw him baring his sharp teeth at me. Would he have rather killed me than let me meet with Thomas? Was he that desperate for me to remain his or did he just lose control over himself? How could he have even thought that I would want to date Tom? The boy was only an old friend, for crying out loud!

“You idiot!” I called, not able to hold it inside me any longer.

Edward froze at the sound of my angry voice; it probably shook him out of his own rage reverie. Now, having his full attention, I continued with my speech.

“How could you EVER think of it that way, you moron?! I dated YOU, dammit! I’m not some fucking whore! Have you considered what I feel at all?! You’re turning me into a monster, you bastard, and you don’t even care!” By that time the vampire had released my arms and I was hitting his chest repeatedly in blind rage, in fact hurting myself rather than him; he could probably barely feel it. He was looking at me wide-eyed, shock overpowering any race of anger on his face. Finally, I calmed a little. Reaching for a doorknob I only told him sharply: “I’m not letting you kill me now. You’ve taught me how to feel and I’m going to live my life the best I can.” I opened the door. “Thank you,” I whispered, springing outside and down the street.

I got to school by bus, all the time fearing that Edward would come after me and finish what he had started. But he didn’t. When I didn’t see his white Mercedes on the school parking lot I felt a little relieved. On the other side, it made me slightly disappointed; I secretly hoped that he would come to apologize and straighten the whole misunderstanding up. But apparently, he shared my opinion on the subject; I shouldn’t be with him, he was no good for me. Thinking that this very morning I swore nothing could separate me from him… made me want to cry. Made me want to go back to him and hug him close, apologizing for every blasphemy I said. However, I didn’t do any of this; I knew I couldn’t. All bridges had been burned. He probably hated me now anyway.

This day in school we were due to make the prom decorations. It occupied me enough to stop thinking again and again about Edward. I was obligated to draw a few dancers on huge sheets of cardboard. With some paint and brushes in hand, headphones on my ears, I set to work. The paint spilled, controlled by swinging motions of my hand that matched the rhythm of the song. I let the music guide me, create the paintings by itself, only speaking through my hands. My eyes closed and I saw a huge ballroom, decorated with gold and red fabric. Women in fancy dresses in every color of the rainbow were standing next to men in black tuxes and suits. Soft tunes played in the background and the couples started to dance, men swaying their partners around and through the room, filling every surface with satin, lace, muslin, silk and velvet. The images twirled in my mind, encouraging me to draw them. And so I did. Thinking about nothing except the dancers in my head, I filled the cardboards with parts of my inner imaginary world.

I was so wrapped up in my imagination that a ring of the school bell made me jump almost a foot in the air. It was time for a Polish lesson. Just great… An hour of huge boredom… I complained internally and dragged myself to the classroom.

Of course, I was right yet again. We were talking about the image of nature in Joseph Conrad’s ‘The heart of the darkness’. Or rather Evelyn was talking and we were pretending to be listening. She was a girl who surely lost count of time during each visit in solarium. The orangish-brownish skin of her face was covered with tones of make-up and hidden behind long black hair, burnt with constant straightening. She should have used a hairdresser. I found her look terrible, but for many girls in school she was the epitome of real beauty, their authority. For me, such an attack of clones was nothing nice to look at. What’s strange, a lot of boys were after her. It was terrifying that they were paying no attention to her face, only concentrating on her shapely body and two little deformities situated on her upper torso, supported with a push-up bra that was making them much bigger than they really were. Males were drooling at the sight of her while non-clone females were curious when her fake boobs would fall off.

Was I jealous of her? For sure I didn’t envy her looks. So what was it? The envy of friends? Not likely. The group of clones? I don’t think so. Popularity? Yes, that was probably the thing. I’d never been someone with a bunch of worshippers following my every step, and I hadn’t longed for it. However, recently I’d come to enjoy the attention. The thought that there’s no one who’d show his affection towards me made me sad. My relationship with Edward showed me that being with another person is enjoyable and fascinating, and teaches you something new every day, about the other person as well as yourself. But he belonged to the past now. I had made my decision, no matter how painful it had been. Now, I had Thomas. That’s funny. I have someone. The boy I’d known a long time ago and met only yesterday after so much time, and already I think that I have him. As a friend, but still. Or maybe it would be something more? It would be very interesting to see how the things would progress… That was strange. Where did that need to be close to someone came from? Before I had met Edward I hadn’t felt it. He had created it in me. No, not created; he had woken it up. I had to have it before, I surely had.

Suddenly, everyone stood up. I looked around, surprised. Oh, yeah, the bell. After all, even such a boring lesson has to end. Nothing’s eternal. Okay, vampires are but, unlike Polish, they’re not dull.

Evelyn slung the hay she called hair over her shoulder chattering to the teacher about her grades. Oh my, she’s so pitiful. I wonder if Tom would like someone of her kind… I also wondered why Edward had decided to be with me. Wouldn’t it have been better for him to just kill me at once? I had used to crave death from his hands, but now I wanted to live. To feel happiness, sadness, joy, everything that made me human. It felt as if I had been born a second time.

“I would like to close the classroom,” the teacher’s voice broke me out of my trail of thoughts, making me realize I was the only student left in the room.

“What? Eee… yeah, right! I’m going now, I’m sorry.”

I walked past the professor, who was shaking her head, saying to herself silently, “Eh, love…”

After a short visit in the locker room I run out of school, looking around nervously. A thought that Thomas wouldn’t be there crossed my mind; to tell the truth, I wouldn’t be surprised at all. But then my eyes caught the sight of the blonde man I was looking for and I knew I was terribly wrong. His face lit up as he saw me, too, and he rushed to meet me, holding a flower in his hands. Do friends usually give each other roses? I wondered, confused, as I recognized the plant.

“Hi!” Thomas greeted me with his inseparable enthusiasm, hugging me gently with one hand while holding the flower with the other. Though I felt uncomfortable with the gesture, I returned it.

“Hi.” I smiled at him.

“This is for you.” He handed me the rose. When I noticed it was pink, I grimaced slightly; it was the one color I truly hated. It reminded me of all those cute plastic girls with strawberry blonde hair, fake boobs, miniskirts and an intelligence of a dinosaur.

Thomas noticed my disgusted expression and furrowed his brows in confusion. “What’s wrong?” he asked worriedly.

“Nothing,” I mumbled, embarrassed with my foolishness. He was giving me a gift, and here I was, whining like a spoiled brat! I should have acted as if I liked it and not make HIM feel embarrassed thinking that he’d done something wrong. Fighting to regain a happy expression despite the hated thing in my hand I sent him a weak forced smile and tried to make myself at least feign to appreciate his present, to no avail. I just couldn’t bring myself to look pleased at the sight of something pink and my face again contorted in slight revulsion. He glanced at me, then at the rose, and his eyes widened as the realization dawned on him. His lips formed a straight line, a determined look on his face.

“I’ll be right back,” he snapped, snatching the flower from my hand and rushing to the parking lot. A huge silver Harley roared to life and took off, carrying Tom away, leaving me completely shocked on the schoolyard. What is he going to do?

A slight sting on my finger broke me out of my surprised state. As I raised my right hand to my face, I saw a tiny red drop on the tip of my thumb. It was glimmering like a coral in the faint light, growing slowly, until it spilled, making a crimson trail on my skin in its wake. Apparently, the rose had liked me too much to leave me and had clung to me for dear life with its sharp thorns. The tiny droplet taunted me and I put it to my lips, sucking the scarlet liquid off. Like every time before, my mind wandered to the taste of my blood. It wasn’t the best I’d ever tasted (I find elderly people’s blood sweeter and particularly appealing) but it was quite good. The flavor reminded me of a strange mix of iron, lemon and sugar. I sucked it greedily, wanting to exploit the occasion to the end.

I wonder if it would be as good for Edward as it is for me. Probably even better, after all I’m his singer. As soon as I caught myself on what I’d been thinking about, my hand fell to my side, forming a fist in self-anger. Stop thinking about him, you fool! I chastised myself. Let him go!

As I sat on a bench, I looked around to distract myself from the returning thoughts of the vampire. The weather was still gloomy, though the heavy rain was long gone, leaving only a remainder in the shape of muddy puddles and lonely drops of water falling from branches from time to time. The wind was chasing clouds away quickly, so even without my high predicting abilities I could have guessed that it would get better soon. Brown was winning over other colors in the landscape, making everything look dirty and depressing; even my mood. Still, I could not get over the fact that Edward wouldn’t be with me anymore. I would not see his beautiful face, hear his musical voice, and feel his icy cold skin. Never again would I get lost in his burning crimson eyes…

For once, the weather matched my mood, for as I was wallowing in self-pity, heavy droplets started to fall again from the leaving clouds. They dampened my hair, curling it and sticking to my face, but I didn’t care. I sighed heavily as a trail of moisture dripped down my forehead.

I don’t know how long I was sitting there like that, getting wetter and wetter, more and more depressed as the time went by. All of a sudden, a hand on my arm shook me out of my reverie.

“Why are you sitting here like that? You’re all wet!”

I looked up through a surprisingly thick screen of water into a fuzzy and misty shocked face of Thomas. His head was covered with a dark hood, hiding his forehead in shadows.

“Are you all right? What happened?” he asked worriedly, leaning over me.

The misty shield before my eyes shivered slightly and a new wave of moisture covered my cheeks, making me finally realize that I was crying. Quickly, I reached my hand to wipe away the traitor tears. “Nothin’,” I mumbled, glaring at my damp hands folded now on my lap. Only now my state was fully dawning on me; I was completely drenched, beaten up inside and didn’t feel comfortable at all.

Tom snorted. “Yeah, right.” He put his hand gently over mine. “Please, tell me.”

Sighing, I debated over his plea. Maybe I would feel better after I tell him? “I’m just a bit down… I broke up with my boyfriend today.”

“Oh.”

Silence that fell then worried me, so I glanced at my friend. An odd expression changed his face, but when he saw me looking at him, he composed himself quickly.

“You had a boyfriend?” he asked blankly.

I blinked, trying to decipher his strange behavior. “Yes… I don’t think I told you about him, but we had so little time yesterday. Guess we just didn’t reach that stage of my life with our stories.” I attempted at smiling, but failed miserably.

Seeing my lips trembling again, just a hairsbreadth to another breakdown, Thomas’ expression got hard and serious. He grabbed my hand and tugged me lightly upward.

“Come on, let’s get you inside before you catch a cold. You’ll tell me everything when you’re all dry and comfy.”

He pulled me to the parking lot and mounted his Harley, making the machine growl so loudly that a few passers-by turned around to check what had caused the noise. A big round object flew at me and I caught it at the last second, stumbling a bit. It was a black helmet.

“Umm…” I stammered, confused.

“Put it on. I’d prefer you to be safe than sorry, even if there’s not even a slight chance for us to crash.” Tom winked at me.

Hesitantly, I raised the object and attempted to fit it onto my head, but something inside didn’t let me in. Grumbling something unintelligible under my breath with frustration, I peered into the helmet, noticing some kind of strips. What should I do with those?

Noticing my confused expression, my friend laughed loudly and took the thing from my hands. He pulled me closer and swiftly attached everything the right way so my head would be protected.

“I assume then that you’ve never rode a motorcycle before,” Thomas said, a smile obvious in his voice, while clasping something under my chin.

“Nope,” I agreed. “But I can’t wait to try.” I grinned wickedly looking at the machine. They’d always fascinated me: so fast, lean and powerful. The boy smiled back widely and showed me how to sit properly in the passenger’s place, which was hardly there at all. I didn’t feel stable on the backseat; truth be said, I feared a little that I would accidentally fall off the side while turning.

Out of my peripheral vision I saw the blonde man hide something red in a bag attached to the side of the vehicle, before the engine roared like an angry animal, sending violent vibrations through my frame. The machine was much larger than me, a monster rather than an actual motor, and the impression was magnified by the loud noises. I doubted that I would be able to handle this wild beast; it would be the one driving, not me.

“Hang on!” Thomas called over his shoulder.

“To what?!” I tried to shout down the engine.

I faintly heard him laugh before he yelled, “Me!” and the vehicle sprung forward. My predictions nearly come true as I teetered dangerously, but I clutched Tom’s jacket desperately at the last moment.

Everything around me was a blur, a green-gray smudge. The speed made my stomach cling to my spine and brought my heart to my throat, the feeling on the verge of fright but not quite yet. I was light-headed, the air ringing in my ears. It reminded me of my first ride with Edward, though this time the sensations were magnified by lack of walls separating me from the wind pressure.

Before I knew it, we were stopping at a parking lot somewhere I didn’t recognize. Thomas turned off the Harley and helped me out of the vehicle, reaching then to unclasp the helmet.

“Where are we?” My words were muffled for my head was leant back to help him maneuver under my chin.

“At the hotel I’m staying in.”

He reached into the bag on the side of the motor and dug, as I supposed, for the red thing he’d hid there earlier. My assumptions were right yet again: his hand came out with a rose, by any means not pink this time. It was red, with yellowish jagged edges, which was making it look bigger than it really was and more like some wild flower than an actual rose.

“Here,” he said, handing me the flower. “I guess this one is better.” He smiled and winked at me suggestively, having guessed my hatred for pink, and making me giggle lightly against my will.

We walked into the foyer quickly as it was already starting to rain again. Tom took his keys while I waited by the door, looking around the place. It was large and bright, decorated mostly in wood and white leather. It had to be expensive and I wondered briefly where he had so much money from. Many different possibilities ran through my head, most of which could be considered a crime. My suspicions vanished as soon as I saw my friend coming back with a huge happy grin. He looked so innocent with his slightly childish, soft features and always excited expression, how could he be up to something bad?

He took my hand and pulled me up the stairs and down some corridor. In the passing, I saw a cleaner staring daggers at me and realized that my clothes were all wet and water was dripping from me on the floor. She probably hated me for adding to her work. We came to a halt at a white door with a silver plate with number 65. Tom fumbled with the keys a little and after a while we finally stepped inside. Just like the hall, it was decorated in light yellow wood and white leather. The space was huge, with a massive bed on the right, a small table with an armchair in the middle and some cupboards by the wall. The floor was covered with a giant round plushy carpet, the one you would drown into like in a young high grass. There was another door on the left, a restroom as I assumed.

“Come on, let’s get you dry,” Tom took the rose out of my hand and tugged on my drenched coat so I took it off, hanging it on a peg by the door.

He put the flower into a vase standing on the table, already filled with white lotus blossoms, before walking to the cupboard and beginning to rummage about in the drawers. Some things were tossed in my direction; I jumped forward to catch them, but they landed on the floor anyway, missing my stretched arms by a hairsbreadth. I heard a quiet chuckle while I was picking up the clothes. It was a huge white T-shirt of Slipknot and a pair of colorful boxer shorts with a recently fashionable Hawaii flowers pattern.

“Why are you throwing your clothes at me?” I asked, confused and irritated.

He laughed louder, clutching his stomach and almost doubling over. “It’s for you to change in, silly! You have to take off these wet clothes of yours before you catch a cold.”

I didn’t like his idea at all. “Nonetheless, I’d prefer a cold. At least it would be mine,” I mumbled. My face got hot at the thought of wearing men’s clothes, boxers moreover. It would be going against my rules.

I saw Thomas smirk as if he was enjoying my inner struggle. “Don’t be embarrassed,” he mocked, walking towards me. Then, he just pushed me towards the second door by my shoulders. “Go get a warm shower and change into these. Leave the wet clothes on the radiator to dry; it shouldn’t take long.”

Sighing with annoyance, I stepped inside the room, which appeared to be a bathroom indeed. It was considerably smaller than the main room but just as bright and quite spacious. There was a huge shower in the corner, with a lot of knobs, half of which I didn’t know what to use for. I spotted a radiator over one of the counters, big enough to accommodate all my stuff. Everything was practically shining, making me feel out of place, like a farmer in a castle.

“Towels are in the cabinet by the sink!” a voice yelled from outside.

I took them out, large and fluffy, just like the carpet, and started to undress, looking around uncomfortably, as if something would pop out of nowhere on me. Or as if there was an almost unknown man outside the door that might come inside any moment and do something… unspeakable. I shouldn’t have come here, I chanted in my head as I was stepping into the shower. I’m definitely crossing my line. I’m in a hotel room with a man I barely know, naked in a shower. Like some slut. At least I’m alone here. I glanced quickly over my shoulder and by the glass door of the shower to make sure of that.

Hot water flowed down my back, soothing my nerves and shivers I hadn’t noticed had appeared from the cold. I’m doing only what I need to, I argued with myself. I’m not being a slut when I’m just a responsible person who does not want to get ill. And he would not do something like that to me. This seemed to disperse my concerns and I was able to finish my shower in peace. I dried myself with the fluffy white towel, almost getting lost in it due to its size, and left one on my hair. I doubted Thomas had a hairdryer so I would have to leave it to Mother Nature to do the job. My undergarments weren’t really wet so I decided to wear them underneath the outfit my friend had chosen for me. This way I’d feel more comfortable. I smirked smugly. The clothes were far too big for me; I practically drowned in them. The boxers could do as ¾ trousers for me, the shirt fell almost to my knees. I had to roll the sleeves a few times to be able to operate with my hands. I took a glance at myself in the mirror and snorted at how ridiculous I looked. Hesitantly, I stepped out of the bathroom.

Thomas had already changed into dry clothes: a pair of torn jeans and a black shirt, and was lying on the bed with his hands folded under his head, a perfect picture of peace and relaxation. He smiled as he saw me.

“You look cute,” he commented. I couldn’t tell if he really meant it or was just joking, so I half snorted, looking down in embarrassment. “Sit down, please. Make yourself at home,” he said, gesturing towards the bed.

I ignored the suggestion and instead opted for the armchair. Even if my feminist suspicions had been proved wrong so far, I didn’t want to get more self-conscious, and consequently more edgy. The leather armchair turned out to be more comfortable than it looked; it was soft and bent deeply while I sat, just like an air mattress.

The blonde boy sighed and sat up, looking at his hands, which he rested on his lap. “So…” he started uneasily, “do you want to talk with me about this… boyfriend of yours?”

I bit the inside of my cheek, thinking of the answer. Did I? Wasn’t the topic too fresh for this discussion to be distant and objective? Would I break down again while reminding myself of the man that had been mine no further back than this morning? Or had I shed all the tears that had been left in my tear ducts? I peeked at Tom; he looked at me with concern, curiosity and something else I didn’t recognize. I knew he’d understand; he was my old friend, I still remembered how it had used to be when I had known him so well. And even if I did break down, he’d support me, calm me down and then cheer me up with some funny stories. Just like during the good old times.

“We’ve been together for over a month now. He was the most perfect man I’ve ever seen.” I smiled involuntarily at the memory.

“Then why did you break up,” my friend almost sneered. “If he was so perfect?” he spit the word with disgust.

“Umm…” I realized then how hard it would be to explain it to him properly without giving out who Edward was. I shouldn’t have started this. “He has… a problem with his temper. He gets angry easily and can be… unpredictable at times.”

Thomas became alert. “Did he hurt you? Because if he did, I swear…”

“No, no, he didn’t hurt me,” I cut him off before he could finish his threat; it wasn’t like he’d be able to harm Edward anyway. “He cared about me. But he was very jealous… because of you.” I glanced at him uneasily, but his face was expressionless. “This morning it just came out of hand. I was really afraid of him this time… so I decided I can’t live like that anymore.”

There was a deep silence after my words; I could practically hear cars speeding down the street below us and some music playing upstairs. I was fiddling with the hem of the shirt I was wearing, not sure what to say or do now.

“You shouldn’t have dated someone like him,” Tom’s whisper broke the silence. “You deserve better.”

“There is no one better,” I muttered, not really intending him to hear that, but he did anyway. His face hardened.

“Obviously, there is! He can’t be good if he’s aggressive towards you! It’s not real love!”

It was my turn to become angry, but I forced my lips into a thin line, try to avoid a pointless argument. No matter how much effort I’d make to explain it to him, he would not understand. He would not understand Edward, whose behavior was determined by his nature; there was no point explaining this while I couldn’t tell about vampires, it would only get more confusing. We would never come to an agreement on this field. Because he was right; or rather would be if Edward was human.

Again, heavy silence fell over the room. At the beginning, the tension between us was so thick you could probably hang an axe in the air. As the time went, we were slowly calming, the atmosphere cleaning itself with each tick of a clock. Finally, Thomas sighed and, not looking at me, said, “Truth be said, I’m glad you two aren’t together anymore.”

I glared at him, suddenly angry again. How could he say something like that while I’m still all miserable and mourning? The boy I knew in the kindergarten would have not said anything to upset me. Maybe he’d changed more than I’d thought…

“He was a dumbass, who wasn’t worth even a slice of hair from your head.”

“He’s worth much more than that! More than you’d ever know!” I defended. Oh no, he would NOT offend Edward! Even if I’m not with him anymore I would still not let it pass! Offending my boyfriend (or ex-boyfriend in that case) equals offending me!

“Yeah, right. Stupid jerk. If he was so great he wouldn’t have broken up with you.”

“I think you got something wrong,” I tried to remain calm despite the burning anger, “it was ME who broke up with HIM!”

“If he didn’t want it, he wouldn’t have let you go.”

Rage was boiling the blood in my veins. He was twisting every word I said and using it against Edward, trying to manipulate me into hating him! It made me sick. And I had thought he would understand me and try to make me feel better! He acted as if… as if he was jealous. The realization stunned me for a moment. I went over his behavior during our meetings. A few times I had noticed him acting strange, and it had only intensified since I’d told him about Edward. Everything fit perfectly. Another man who was obsessively protective of me; definitely not what I needed at the moment.

I tried to make my voice calm and even as I explained. “Edward cared about me. He knew I would be better off without him and so he let me go.”

Tom looked at me skeptically with a sarcastic smirk plastered on his face. “Oh really? Or maybe he had some other chick aside and wanted to just get rid of you?”

My mouth opened to argue with him, but I couldn’t get a word out. A face appeared in the back of my mind, a face I’d hoped I would never see again, and clouded every other thought. Eve. Was it possible that the way Edward had acted that night at the bar had been only a bluff? Was it possible that he had wanted to cover his affection for her with fake hate and harsh words to blind me, so that I wouldn’t feel hurt? Was it possible that he had set up the whole jealousy scene to make me feel convinced that I didn’t need him, so that he would not have to ditch me himself? Was it possible that I had been that blind...?

My old friend noticed he’d scored a bull’s-eye with his assumption this time and followed that scent, his evil smirk widening. “Very convenient, allowing you to finish the relationship. The coward didn’t even have the nerve to tell you the truth. I bet he’s with this other girl now, laughing at how easily you were fooled.”

Everything in me was screaming at me not to believe him, every fiber of my being was sure Edward was not bad. However, the truth had told a different story many times. There was no denying that the vampire had hurt me more than once. He could have easily lied to me. It would be a child’s game for him. A game…Everything was a game… From the very beginning, that’s what he told me then. He just wanted to have fun with his prey…

“He couldn’t… He wouldn’t…” I was mumbling, staring at the floor with unseeing eyes. Thomas couldn’t be right. He was just speculating, making up a believable story to make me hate Edward and turn to him. HE was the one playing games with me.

I stood up, jutting my chin up high with anger. “You don’t know him!” I shouted and rushed to the door, determined to get out of there. If I was to look at Tom’s face and listen to his words any longer I’d just hit him square in the face, wiping the stupid smirk out of it with my fist. I didn’t care that I was just wearing his T-shirt and boxer shorts, my clothes were all wet, hanging in the bathroom and there was a little over zero Celsius degrees outside – I just wanted to leave.

“Hey there, where are you going? Come back here!” I heard the boy yell after me, a sharp edge in his voice.

I ignored him and reached for a knob. It didn’t yield under my pushes. My struggles came to nothing; the door was locked and no key was to be seen. No way to escape. I didn’t know what was going on, but I didn’t like it at all. But before I could start to panic, I felt a sharp pain jolting my neck and everything went black.