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Vampire Heart

Summary:
Have you ever imagined how it would be like to find your own Edward? Because I have. And THIS came out. R&R No Bella and Cullens here.


Notes:
The special vampire kind I use in this story was created by Stephenie Meyer. The characters are entirely mine. This story is only Twilight-related. :)


4. 19th October: Friday

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 1905   Review this Chapter

19.10 Friday

I thought I wouldn’t see Edward in the morning, but when I went out of the house, I saw a familiar car beside the gateway. My heart jumped; he wasn’t mad at me yet. Or he was there only to tell me that he would leave me alone? Killing me here and now was out of question. I still didn’t feel the death.

Not knowing whether I should be glad or frightened I got in the car. Edward didn’t even greet me, and he pulled away at once. His face didn’t show any feelings. I was watching him, waiting for him to finally say something, but I miscalculated; he was as silent as a statue. And he looked like a statue; only his hands gently moving on the steering wheel were showing he was still alive. Alive? Could I use this word to describe a vampire’s existence?

Before I realized it, we were parking in front of my school. I was going to get out disappointed, when Edward grabbed my hand.

“We need to talk.” He said in a blank voice.

“Now? I’ll be late for school.” My voice was trembling, I didn’t know why, though.

He nodded with understanding. “Then I’ll fulfill my promise from yesterday and take you to ‘the Maple-street’s after your classes.” He let go of my hand. “And I’m sorry for causing you troubles.”

I understood he meant my mother and shrugged. We used to argue all the time. At least we had a reason, other than the mess in my room and bad marks, now. How much variety Edward had brought to my life!

“See you later.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

When I was sitting in my classrooms, I wasn’t thinking about what the teachers were saying at all. I reproached myself that I hadn’t let him say what he wanted to say. He would have disappeared from my life faster than I could have blinked and I could have returned to my old everyday routine. And now I had to delude myself for the next few hours. However, I could give anything just to prolong this exceptional situation for at least few minutes. Seeing my desperate state the girls didn’t accost me even once. They let me look at all versions of my future appointment in ‘the Maple-street’s’ and plan my talk in peace.

This time Edward was waiting for me on a bench in front of the school. He was brightening fall landscape with his presence. All girls were looking back at him – the Geography teacher tripped over her own feet from the strong impression. He looked like an angel who had accidentally fell from the sky to this earthly existence.

The Angel of Death.

This association came so suddenly I nearly sat down in a surprise. Why hadn’t I hit on this earlier? My Angel of Death. His kiss heralds the death. And I’d already received one…

Edward saw me and sent me a smile, also this time not reaching his eyes. He stood up when I came to him and we both went to the car. We were driving in silence for some time. I was so sulky I didn’t even notice when the landscape started to change – housing was replaced by thick-growing trees. When I realized that I got frightened. I had a strange feeling.

“Edward, where are we going?” he surely heard panic in my voice. “We were going to eat at ‘the Maple-street’s’…”

Rapidly, the car stopped on some forest alley. Edward looked at me; his eyes were almost completely black. He leaned over me rapidly. I felt his cold breath on my neck. My heart was throbbing from fear. Few days ago I would have probably been happy about this turn of things. But not now. Please, not now! I was begging in my mind. I don’t wanna die yet, not now, when I finally started to live, not only exist!” His cold lips touched my skin. I closed my eyes tight with fear. I remembered an excerpt from “Das groβe Buch der Engel” describing the Angel of Death. ‘His kiss brings the death. Then the soul is released and can hover with the angel.’ Was it the death kiss already? I wonder what will happen to me after my death. I thought. And in that moment I reproached myself that I hadn’t read all those esoteric books more carefully. There should have been something about this.

Suddenly, I heard a silent curse. I opened my eyes in shock. I was still sitting in the car. I didn’t feel pain or blood, actually, I felt kinda comfortable. Edward was still leaning over my neck, he seemed irritated now though. I was alive.

“Damn it!” He swore louder, and drew back from me rapidly. He quickly stepped on the gas and pulled out on the main road. I noticed with relief that he was heading towards the city. His face was gloomy, and he was muttering something incomprehensible. I was keeping as quiet as a mouse not knowing how to act. He looked at me suddenly and smiled with satisfaction.

“You’re afraid of me already, huh?” He mocked.

“No.” I said proudly, though my voice was trembling.

He laughed loudly. After a while his laughter turned into a dull growl. He bared his sharp teeth. I stiffened; I knew exactly what it meant. I fastened my hand on the door-knob, ready to jump out at any time. I couldn’t decide whether I prefer to die by smashing my head on asphalt, or be bitten by a vampire.

Edward stopped growling immediately, he looked at me menacingly instead. “Don’t even try!” He said gloomily.

All of a sudden, I heard a voice of irresponsibility in my head: What if I tried? I wanted to see how he would react. However, did I have anything to lose? If death awaited me anyway…

I smiled at him slightly and pushed the knob. I had enough time to see shock on Edward’s face; he probably hadn’t expected me to be so brave or so stupid to do this. Then, I leaned back to fall through the open door.

Abruptly, I felt a jerk, the car jolted slightly and my head hit something. I thought it was the road so I was very surprised to see the vampire’s sweatshirt in front of me as I opened my eyes. He was hugging me so tight I couldn’t breathe.

“Are you mad?!” He shouted.

I glanced at him. His eyebrows were knitted, and his eyes were throwing lightening. He was angry. No, that’s not the word for it; he was furious with me! I cowered inside.

“Have you completely lost your mind?! You wanted to kill yourself, or what?!”

“You know exactly what I wanted to do.” I muttered weakly. The closeness of his cold body and his scent didn’t let me concentrate.

He shook his head with incredulity. “You’re crazy. They should keep you locked up.”

I tried to release myself from his deadly embrace. I didn’t have any chance to succeed; it was like trying to move a boulder.

“Why did you do that?” He asked gloomily.

I made an effort to shrug, but it didn’t work out very much because of the lack of space. “Curiosity.” I answered honestly.

“Like your suicide in primary school?” He was becoming more and more enraged.

I didn’t answer.

“What were you curious about? How your brain would smear on the asphalt?!” Now he was shouting.

I started at the image of what he’d said. “You want to kill me anyway, so what’s the difference how I will die?” I poured out what had been worrying me for some time.

Edward looked at me carefully and sighed. “Big difference. Huge. You won’t die. Not yet.”

“Why?” His self-confidence was annoying to me.

He was silent for some time. I saw sadness in his eyes. “Because I don’t want this.” He whispered, hardly audibly and turned his face away quickly. This confession surprised me, though I wasn’t sure if I had heard him well. “Promise me you’ll never do something like that again.” He demanded categorically, looking deep into my eyes. I nodded enchanted by his glance. Just then he released me and stopped the car.

I looked through the window. On the other side of the street I saw shining windows of ‘the Candy-shop from Maple-street’.

“As I promised.” Edward said, as he saw astonishment on my face.

In ‘the Maple-street’s’ there weren’t many people. One couple occupied by each other, a few giggling teenagers and two women sipping coffee from little cups. We sat at the most remote-from-people place.

“As usual?” The vampire asked. I noticed that his insensitive mask was disappearing slowly.

I nodded. He came back with my favorite cake after a while. I slowly set about eating, waiting for him to say something. He was in a dither for a while. Finally, he sighed and looked at me. All indifference had disappeared from his face; it was troubled now.

“I’ve recently noticed that you’re acting as if my appearing in your life was some kind of…” He was searching for a suitable word “Fate’s gift.” Well said I agreed in my mind. “You can’t think of this that way!” He hissed. “I’m going to kill you, don’t forget it!” In view of what had happened in the car it seemed to be quite a strange statement. “The fact that it’s… delayed a little doesn’t mean I won’t do it at all. And if you…” He took a deep breath as if the word didn’t want to go through his throat. “If you… fall in love with me… you could raise illusory hope.”

“What are you talking about?!” I denied energetically. “I couldn’t fall in love…” In that moment the realization hit me; how much this, what I was saying, distorted the truth. I hadn’t let this thought come to my mind yet, but what if…? It would explain everything. That I feel so comfortable around him. That I’m happy when I see him. My spontaneous statements. That I’m dreamy. My uncertainty. My strange reactions to his voice and touch. And most of all… longing for life, with him at my side. Dammit. Me, single forever, a feminist filled with stoicism? And yet, finally, it would reach everyone…

I didn’t let him see what I was thinking about. Edward relaxed noticeably. He seemed to be satisfied with my answer.

“By the way” He smiled wide “it comes to my ears that you’re having some trip soon…”

“Can’t you just say you’ve seen it in my head?” I asked ironically.

He laughed cheerfully. “Can I come with you?”

He surprised me. I didn’t think he would want to go on a trip with school crowd of the over-excited youth. “Well, I dunno.” I admitted honestly. “You hafta ask Alice, she organizes all these things…”

“I’ll ask her then.” He seemed excited by the vision of the trip.

I looked at him suspiciously. “Why do you wanna join us?”

“For fun.” He shrugged.

What kind of fun did he mean? Did he want to satisfy his desire for young blood by making a blood bath in a bus?

Seeing uncertainty on my face he smiled cheerfully. “If you ate we should go. Your mom will worry.”

I looked at a clock and choked. It was already past six!

In the blink of an eye we arrived at the place. I entered my apartment out of breath; I had been running all the way up. Mom only bit her lips and said nothing. That night I fell asleep with a feeling that the following weeks would bring much good…