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Desperate

Summary:
Rosalie's actions in Breaking Dawn are considered atrocious by some. But how would they react if they truly understood her motives? This is Rosalie's chance to tell her story. Warning: while the first two chapters can stand on their own, without spoilers, the rest of the fic will have major Breaking Dawn Spoilers.


Notes:
Story Notes:Disclaimer: I don’t own Twilight, Rosalie, Bella, Emmett, or really anything except some of the cool phrasing that I might steal for my own use someday… Nah. Stephenie Meyer owns it all.


5. Chapter 5

Rating 0/5   Word Count 1272   Review this Chapter

Chapter Five

Rosalie ran back to the house, pushing herself for speed. She needed Emmett. She needed to know that he was still Emmett, in this world that had just upended itself over her. She needed to know that there were some things that she could hold onto, that would hold her here.

She threw open the front door, and raced up the stairs to her room. If Emmett was packing their things, he would be there. She wanted to be right. If she was right, there was still some part of her life that was normal, there was still some predictability.

“Emmett!” she called, flying into her bedroom. He jerked his head up to look at her, the curls springing with the sudden movement despite their shortness in length. His face looked guilty. And then Rosalie saw. In his hand was The Book.

Rosalie froze, not moving, not even blinking. She never expected Emmett to look at it again, let alone to take it down from its hiding place and leaf through the pages. It had always been hers, never his. He had only looked at it for her. Or that’s what she had thought.

Emmett rose from their bed to meet her, closing the pages of The Book, hiding them from her sight.

Rosalie’s eyes slowly traveled up from the white leather cover to Emmett’s steady gaze. It felt like a century passed in those few seconds it took. Both of them were silent for a long time as they sized up their situation.

“Why did you take it out?” Rosalie asked, the shock wearing off enough for her to speak.

He shrugged. “I knew that this was what you were thinking of earlier, when you heard. And it’s what I thought of, too.” He set it down carefully, slowly.

Strangely enough, Rosalie didn’t feel angry or betrayed. She merely felt numb. It was as though her emotions had gone through too much today to take the added stress of one last thing.

“Do you always read it when I’m away?” she asked, as flippantly as if she were speaking of the weather.

He shook his head. “Just today.”

Rosalie nodded, considering. Did he really care that much for her, or was this more? Did it matter? <i>Yes.</i> “Is that what you want?”

Emmett didn’t answer her, and she crossed the room towards him. “It’s alright, Emmett.”

“Alright?” Emmett asked, his voice surprised.

She smiled, a smile that was meant to be understanding, but twisted into a sad facsimile that had the opposite effect. “Yes. It’s not just mine, now. It’s ours.” She moved forward to lean against him, and his arms wrapped around her, holding her together, keeping her safe.

“Do you want children?” she asked simply.

Emmett didn’t answer for a moment, and Rosalie held her breath, afraid of the words. Then Emmett spoke. “If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t.”

“So it’s only to make me happy,” Rosalie whispered.

“No. No, Rose. I love you. And I want you to be happy. But there is more to it than that. I never would have thought about children if I had never met you. And I never would have realized what I was missing. I never would have known that I was missing it. Don’t blame yourself. I would rather be here with you than anywhere else in the world. Don’t ever tell me you don’t deserve me; if anything, it’s the other way around. Okay?”

Rosalie nodded again, ignoring the way the friction against his chest tangled her hair. Emmett understood her, though, and he brushed his fingers through it, carefully removing any snarls.

She pulled back to look at his face. “Come with me, Emmett. Let’s go. Please. We can drive around for a while before we have to leave for the airport. I don’t want to be here another minute. Escape with me.” Her voice dropped to a low whisper. Most likely, this was going to be the last time she was alone with Emmett for a long time.

“Escape it is,” Emmett said, his body vibrating against her own. She reached down and took his hand, reluctant to lose contact for any amount of time.

“Let’s go,” she said to Emmett, and led him down the stairs and out the door. Out of the corner of her eye, Rosalie saw Esme and Carlisle, leaning their foreheads against each other for comfort. Every one of them was looking for reassurance in whatever way they could.

Rosalie got into the red car, and shut the door behind her. Emmett slid into the passenger side. Both were silent until Rosalie turned out onto the highway.

“Bella called me,” Rosalie told him without preamble.

Emmett turned to look at her. “She called you? When? Why?”

“A few hours ago. She told me what was happening, what was <i>really</i> happening.” Rosalie took another breath. “She doesn’t want to lose the baby.”

She felt Emmett’s shock rolling off of him. If he were anything but this surprised, he would have said something. But words were beyond him now.

“She knows that it could kill her. But she wanted my help. Edward won’t give her a choice; he would do anything to protect her. She needs me if she’s going to carry to term. I’m going to help her.”

“Why?” Emmett asked her. “Why did you agree?”

Rosalie softened, suddenly feeling vulnerable. “I agreed because I know what I would want in her place.” She took another breath and turned to him. “For once, Emmett, for once I <i>understand</i> why she’s choosing to do something. I know I would want the same from her, had we switched places. This is the last chance I have to make everything alright.”

“If she dies, nothing will be ‘alright’, Rose. Edward won’t survive without her. Our family won’t be the same again.”

“She won’t survive without this child. And regardless, our family can never be what it was. We have Bella, now, and the changes she’s made in Edward. Even I’ve noticed, and I tried to avoid him. If she dies, there will be an empty space where she used to belong. If the baby dies, there will be a space where he used to be. This child has already changed everything, and it can’t go back to the way it was.”

Emmett paused. “Rosalie, if you were in her place, would you choose to die for this?”

She carefully avoided looking at him. “Yes, Emmett, I would. If it was your child, I would fight to protect him or her, even if I had to die in the process.” Rosalie lifted her eyes to his, gauging his reaction.

“I guess I knew what the answer was going to be,” Emmett said softly, and she could tell that she’d hurt him.

“Emmett, all of my human life, I was raised to believe that a child was the highest honor, the highest achievement a woman could ever receive. All of my existence, I have been a failure.” Her words were carefully measured, an attempt to let him understand. “I wouldn’t leave you alone. I would finally be everything you could ask of a wife. I know that you don’t really want children, but what if I could give them to you? I saw the way you looked at those pictures with me. You might only want them because of me, but you do want them, don’t you?”

He was silent, and Rosalie moved on, not wanting him to dwell on the information. “Emmett, I need your help. Edward will do anything to stop Bella. I need you to help me keep them apart.”

Emmett sighed. “I don’t like this.”

Rosalie sensed victory. “But you will help me?”

He reached forward to brush her cheek. “Yes,” he answered. “I will be there for you, whatever you do.”