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Personal Sun

Summary:
They all prevail on her, all the people she loves, to make the right choice. Will she? A chaptered fic to explore the options Bella had at the end of Eclipse a little more fully. If she looks both ways... who does she choose?


Notes:
so i was rereading eclipse with my newly j/b shipping eyes (don't kill me!) and i decided bella really chose edward without thinking hard enough about it. also, as my friends at SortOfBeautiful would say, the universe ships Jacob/Bella. so i thought the universe should have a little chat with bells about that. no, i do not know how the story will end yet. it may be e/b or j/b. sort of depends on what my reviewers want.


6. Renee

Rating 0/5   Word Count 660   Review this Chapter

“Hey, Mom!” It’s been such a long time since I’ve talked to her. I miss her a lot. She really is my best friend, the one person who understands me. I know she’ll get this whole thing. She’ll understand that I have to do what’s right for me.

After all, it’s what she’s always done.

“Hey, honey.”

I freeze. The phone clatters to the floor.

Bells, honey. It’s Jacob’s word, it belongs to him, and there’s something so wrong about anyone else using it. I may be Edward’s ‘love’, but I’m Jacob’s ‘honey’.

I smile. And then I bend to pick up the phone.

“Sorry, Renee. I’m making dinner and I dropped the phone. You know me.”

“Clumsy as anything.” She laughs. “So, how’s everything? How’s Edward?”

“Wonderful, as always.” The same ridiculous grin I’m almost used to by now leaps onto my face. He’s so much more than I ever deserved. Above all else, I’m sure of that. No matter how much everyone rails at me, I’ll never even consider being without Edward. I love him. My world is secondary to that fact.

“Good. But, Bella, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Uh-oh. Not the sex talk thing again. “Charlie already-“

“I know. I just wanted to… mention this to you. I know you’ve heard this lecture a hundred thousand times, but listen to it one more.”

Not the sex, then. Well, that’s something of a relief.

“When I married your father, I really loved him. I did. As much as I love Phil now. And those kinds of feelings don’t go away, Bella… but sometimes they get less intense. Sometimes when you spend that much time with someone, when you realize you’ve committed your whole life to them, you also realize you wish you hadn’t. I didn’t exactly fall out of love. It just got to the point that a life I hated wasn’t worth the guy I loved. And I think maybe you should ask yourself that question, Bella. You and Edward are probably going to get married pretty soon, right?”

“Umm… I didn’t…I…” Okay, I was expecting to slowly break the news to her after about a week of stalling. Not have her guess it in a normal tone of voice during a cheery conversation.

“Knew it!” she crows, then briefly becomes serious. “Look, I know I’ve said a lot of things about teenagers getting married. They weren’t really directed at you, they were directed at me. You’re plenty mature enough to shore things up.”

I smile. So someone understands.

“And plenty in love. But the thing you don’t know, Bella, is how little things add up. You’ve never chosen to love someone before, take care of someone, live with someone. The only people you’ve ever spent that much time with, the only people you’ve ever had a really meaningful relationship with, are me and Charlie. Maybe, just maybe, when you settle down with Edward, the little things you don’t like about him get bigger and bigger. Maybe you’re not always going to be this happy. Just saying.”

“Mom…”

“Just saying. I’m not trying to second-guess you, honey.”

“All right.”

The conversation shifts, lightens. I start to talk about Alice and her exuberance for wedding plans, about how Edward and I are going away to college, all that stuff. She laughs and sympathizes at the right parts, but I can hear her silent judgment. Renee’s never judged me before, not for anything.

It feels wrong.

Little things… there aren’t any little things I don’t like about Edward. He’s perfect!

Or… is he?

No. I’m not asking myself this question.

“Hey, there’s someone at the door. I got to go, Renee. Love you.”

“Love you more, hon.”

I try not to grimace.