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Pretending the Truth

jacob/leah oneshot they're both pretending so hard that it winds up coming true

someone recommended i write this. i'm not crazy about the piece, but what do you think?

1. Chapter 1

Rating 5/5   Word Count 722   Review this Chapter

It’s better when they both pretend. The hard days are the ones where they let themselves realize what they’re doing, what’s going on, how they’re slowly fixing each other, how they’re slowly falling for each other.

They’d like to believe that isn’t going on.

Pretending’s easier for Leah. After all, it’s hard to tell any of the Quileute boys apart from a distance. They’re all tall, dark, and handsome. But it isn’t the new Sam she misses, the one who looks just like Jacob, who’s a mile and a half tall and strong enough to break the world in his two hands. No, it’s her Sam, soft-spoken and shy, his hands gentle and cautious around her. She remembers him taking six tries to get the condom on the first time. She remembers his hand on hers. She remembers his lips moving up and down her neck. She remembers and god if only she could forget.

Leah looks nothing like Bella, even in the dark. He doesn’t pretend. He just does, acts, tries to believe that this is or someday will be real.

And eventually… it does.

Jacob and Leah. They’re the same person in bodies that happen to be pretty compatible and the pack may range from disapproval to Seth’s nausea but it doesn’t stop them, they can’t let it stop them, they need this, they need each other and it’s enough.

“Oh… Leah.”

“Sam…” she moans. “Shit.” She jerks away from him, rolling off him and onto the forest floor.

He sighs and turns back to her. “Leah, it’s all right.” He trails his hand over her, lightly tracing her face with his fingertips. Since they’re both naked and have just abruptly interrupted sex, it’s a very charged motion, almost incongruous in its delicacy.

“No. You don’t say ‘Bella,’, do you? We’re both lying to ourselves, but you have the decency not to moan the name of the person you’re in love with while you’re fucking me.”

She turns away again, so all he can see is the long line of her back.

“Not true,” he whispers.

She whirls around. Before she’s facing him, lying parallel to him, she understands. “What? Oh, Jake, you idiot. You fell in love with me?”

“What can I say?” he asks, shrugging. It’s the kind of guy he is. He falls, hard and fast, and he loves, desperately, adoringly.

It’s gotten him into trouble before.

“It’s supposed to be sex. We’re bored and horny and heartbroken and naked in the woods together. It’s a simple matter of convenience. You idiot.” Her hands are over her breasts now, trying to cover herself up. Oddly, it feels more violating to have him staring at her with the love that’s now terrifyingly plain in his eyes.

“I don’t expect things to change,” he says softly. “But… look, it’s got its advantages. We have so much in common. And I’ve always…. I have come to respect you a lot.”

Leah restrains herself from making a bad come pun and listens up.

“And you can’t deny this part of it is nice. I trust you, and I find you incredibly attractive, and I’ve fallen in love with you. Does that have to change this?”

“But… don’t you want to… be a couple? Thought you were the kind of guy who was into holding hands and watching movies and eternal vows of love and all that shit.”

“I am. But I’m also the kind of guy who’s into you… jeez, that sounds corny. But I can be as… you know, as you want. I’m not like the damn leech who can’t do his girl because he’s too afraid of hurting her. I know I should do what you want, not what I want you to want.”

She hesitates, and then smiles, weaving her hand through his. “You’re a good catch, Jacob Black.”

“I love you, Leah Clearwater.”

A terrible thought dawns on her and she begins, “You didn’t…”

“No. Not imprint. Love. There’s a difference.”

She can’t argue. Instead, she curls into his shoulder and lets herself go.

The lie is gone, replaced by a tenuous truth she can’t be sure she wants to believe.