On that snowy day I realized one thing, I was a monster
1. Chapter 1
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For the first time in what felt like years, that is more years than it actually has been, I was afraid to touch him. That my cold skin would repel him and he would find my strange eyes suddenly distant and vacant. It was as if everything was easier said if my hand was covering my mouth, if I closed my eyes and never opened them
I’ll say this much; I always knew. I thought it was destiny. ..fate even some kind of strange understandable force. No one ever questioned it, not even me until I opened my eyes. I had received many gifts over my happy life. Homes, cars, designer clothes, and more importantly a loving family and yet the one gift that no one would ever refuse I was literally leaving on the doorstep.
“Jacob”, I whispered, he pretended not hear me. I could feel the tears coming up again, I tried to hold it in but I let one slip.
In two strides he was standing in front of me and I was forced to look at him, I almost felt compelled to.
“Nessie-- “, Jake started but I shook my head and stepped back
“No… I told you never to call me that”, I couldn’t help but to laugh a little at my childhood name. It was a little family joke, if you will.
Our laughter quieted and then we remembered why we were here standing out in the fresh snow.
I brushed the snow off the car as I spoke, “Jake, you’re my best friend, you’ve always been there for me, like always. . . but you said I have a choice, right ?”
I said the words that had showed up in so many of our previous arguments that day, with Jake and my family.
“Well yeah, but who would refus—“
“But I do have a choice”, I repeated stepping around the little car, “And I just don’t know if I want this . . . forever”
“Ren, you’re a vampire you have forever and ever and ever. . .”
“I know…but I’m also human. I should have some human experiences too, right?”.
I swung the door to the old VW rabbit open; I was shocked when Jake tossed me the keys
“You get to sleep”, he offered, “Besides when is the last time you left your family? Me?”
I ignored the question; I had been around humans before I could control myself. I slipped on a pair of dark shades and slid into the car. I rolled down the window, not quite ready to se this. . .whatever this was go so soon.
“I have a choice Jacob, please… come to understand that one day”
He kicked at the snow, he would rather me be happy without him than to be unhappy by his side. I knew this and I was using that bit of chivalry against him. I am a monster.
“If some Vampire breaks your heart don’t come crawling back to me”, He yells as I rev the engine
“I won’t”, are my departing words.
And I didn’t.