Nessie has graduated High School and looking forward to her new life at Yale. With Jacob by her side and Edward and Bella's encouragment, Nessie faces life, adventure, and possible threats to her family as she finds herself.
I do not own these characters...just borrowing them from Stephenie Meyer.
2. Chapter 2 - Confessions
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Chapter 2 – Confessions
The car rolled to a stop in a very familiar place.
“First Beach? Really original Jake.” I teased as Jacob got out of the car.
“What can I say, I am an original kind of guy” Jake answered, opening my door for me.
“Er, thanks.” I managed to mumble as I tried to hide my bright pink cheeks. Jake never opens my door for me, we just aren’t like that. What was he trying to do to me.
“I do what I can, you know.” Jake smiled, holding my coat out for me. I gladly wrapped myself in it. It had stopped raining, but it was still pretty chilly out.
As we took the familiar path to the beach, we walked in silence. It seemed weird, like things have never been better between us, but here he was, taking me to one of my favorite places, probably try to comfort me telling me nothing will change. We can still talk, I can write letters. I hear him say in my head.
“What’s up Nessie? What’s wrong?” Jacob’s words broke through my thoughts.
“What? Oh, nothing’s wrong.” I stuttered back.
“Oh, come on, I know you better then that. You’re doing your nervous lip biting thing. Talk to me.” Jacob pleaded. I really needed to break that habit, it made me so readable.
“I’m just thinking. School, moving, everything. Just kind of nervous, you know.” I replied. At least it wasn’t a lie. I was thinking about school because we were moving for it, and moving meant leaving Jake, and he is my everything…so all that was making me nervous.
“There is nothing to be nervous about Ness. I think a change of scenery will be nice for everyone.” Jacob replied. I was grateful that he didn’t have the ability to read my mind like my father. I couldn’t bear it if I knew Jacob was going to be as hurt as I am. He probably thinks the separation would be good. Maybe I should just get it out in the open, so he didn’t have to pretend tonight. So he could just be honest the whole time.
“Jake, I want to say something to you, and you have to promise not to interrupt.”
“Sure sure, anything.” Jacob answered, his smile touching the corners of his eyes.
“Well, I know that this move is pretty big, and it means being so far from everything here. And well, I guess I am trying to say, that I would totally understand if you couldn’t come. I mean, there is nothing I want more then to have you with us. But I know there are reasons for you to stay here, like your dad, and the pack and tribe...”I could feel the tears stinging my eyes.
“Whoa, Ness, just stop right there. I know I said I wouldn’t interrupt, but you are talking crazy talk, so just stop that line of thought. The only way I could ever leave you is if you wanted me too.” Jacob said, practically laughing.
“So, you didn’t bring me here to tell me that you aren’t coming?” I answered, confused by his laughter.
“No, Nessie. God, if I knew that was what you were thinking when I said I needed to talk to you, I would have told you it wasn’t bad. Is that why you have been so quiet today?”
“Yeah, I have been just so worried. But you don’t have to make me feel like I am crazy; you’re just being mean by laughing.” I pouted, trying to not let my embarrassment get the best of me.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I am so sorry I made you even worry.” Jacob said as he took my hands. We were by our spot; the driftwood on the beach formed a perfect bench for us to sit on. As we sat down, Jacob tenderly tucked a stray hair behind my ear. His hand lingered on my cheek. I felt my cheeks grow hot, and new thoughts filled my mind. There was that time in Port Angeles when the girl behind the check out counter spoke to Jacob like I wasn’t there, looking at him through her lashes, flirting. I was so…so…jealous? Was that what I felt then? I thought I was angry for being ignored by her, but no, that’s not right, it was different, it was jealousy. And the time in Seattle when the guy on the street had said something so vulgar to me, and Jacob was there and hit him. I thought it was because Jacob thought he would hurt me, and he was protecting me like a brother would. But now, that seems different, he wasn’t protecting me like a brother; he was protecting me like a lover would. As we sat there, and I looked into Jacob’s deep eyes, I realized that there was something there that has always been there, but it was different then what I thought it was before. I was deeper, and the words My Jacob had more meaning then they did when I was younger. This sudden realization of these feelings made my heart swell. Looking into those eyes, feeling his hand on my cheek, it was like I was looking through a new set of eyes. I have seen Jacob everyday of my life, but it was different, it was like someone took the sunglasses from my eyes and I was seeing the sun for the first time.
But now that I was seeing this, and sitting here, and I knew Jacob wasn’t going to leave me, what should I do? I can’t tell him, because he probably sees me as that you girl I have always been. He probably sees me as his best friend’s daughter. I’ll just keep these feelings to myself, at least for now.
“So, I guess you are probably wondering why I did want to talk to you” Jacob brought me back to his side with his words. “And I don’t want you to get any more crazy thoughts of me abandoning you, because what I want to tell you will explain to you how I would never let that happen.”
I stared at him, not really understanding what he was saying. “Ok, I’ll try and not let my mind make up anymore crazy stories while you talk.” I smiled...
“What I am going to tell you might sound crazy, but then again, you live with vampires, and you know I am a werewolf, so I guess crazy isn’t in your vocabulary. I just don’t want you to freak out or be scared. Just know that I will always be what you want me to be, and that you do have a choice in all of this.”
“Okay, trying not to freak out, but I really need more info Jake.”
“Right, so, we have told you a lot about the wolf culture and the tribe and everything, but there is one really important piece that we left out, mostly because we wanted you to able to be old enough and mature enough to make your own choices and to really understand what was going on. Anyway, being a werewolf, we have this, uh, process I guess that some of us go through. We call it imprinting.”
“Imprinting? Please explain.” I asked, curious as to what was coming next.
“It’s kind of hard to explain, but basically what happens is when a wolf sees the person they are meant to be with, they imprint. It’s just a bond that we feel toward that person, and nothing could break that bond. And sometimes it means we will marry that person, and sometimes it means that we will be a protector of that person. We are really whatever we need to be for that person.” Jacob said, smiling in his eyes.
“So you are telling me that you have imprinted?” I asked
“Yes, Nessie, exactly. I knew that you would get this because you are so smart.” Jacob beamed.
“You imprinted…on me? When? How?” I was so confused by the process.
“Yes, I imprinted on you. I think I could feel your pull on me when you were in Bella’s womb. But the first moment I saw you after you were born, I knew, I can’t explain how, but there was just a bond, our bond. And I think you felt it too, I have always been your Jacob.”
“I know, I just thought it was…I don’t know. But that’s interesting, that explains a lot.” I was in shock; I didn’t know what this meant. So this meant that Jacob would always be mine, and he would be what I wanted him to be, always. It dawned on my and a fit of laughter escaped my lips, I couldn’t stop it if I wanted to.
Jacob looked at me questioning my odd reaction, “Ness, are you OK, usually people don’t laugh when they hear this part.”
“Oh Jacob, I’m sorry…it’s just so…perfect…it explains everything you have been in my life.” I cried in between fits a giggling.
“Well, I guess laughing is better then I expected. I thought you were going to run scared and hate me and your parents for not telling you.” Jacob sighed.
I stopped laughing immediately, “Wait, parents…my parents knew? Is that why they left? They were afraid I’d be mad at them?” I had to think about what thoughts I may have had that would make Edward think that I wouldn’t like this. Maybe he took the thoughts I had about missing something in life as in that I needed to get away from what he thought might trap me.
“Well, I’m honestly not mad; I’m a little relieved though”
“Really? Alice saw you getting mad. Something must have changed since her vision. But why are you relieved?” Jacob asked, and I knew immediately what had changed, why I wasn’t mad. I couldn’t think of any other way to tell him except to show him.
I pressed my fingertips to his temples and stared into his eyes. I unleashed the thoughts that I had that made me realize how much I wanted to be with him, how I felt about him.
After I showed him, I took my hands from his head but he grabbed my right hand and held it to his cheek.
“Oh Nessie. You have no idea what that means to me.” He looked at me, there seemed to be a pain in his eyes. “As I said, I’ll be whatever you need me to be, but you are so young, I want you to be sure you know what you want.”
“Young, I have the maturity level and understanding of an 18 year old despite how many years I have lived. And my mother knew she loved my father when she was 17! What does age have to do with anything!” I shouted, a little louder then I intended. I was just so shocked by Jacob saying that. He has always treated me like my maturity level rather then my age, so it hurt when he said that.
“Nessie, don’t be mad, I am just looking out for what is good for you.” He cupped my face in his hand, and came in close. I could feel his hot breath on my lips. Slowly, I felt his lips on mine, softly pressing down on mine. It was over to soon, and Jacob pulled away before I was ready. He sighed and smiled.
“You know, this is probably the best day of my life.” Jacob said as he looked up at the now dark sky. “We should get home; I think your parents will be there.”
As we walked back to the car, we held hands. I couldn’t begin to wrap my head around the unexpected turn this night had taken. I came here, dreading tomorrow, thinking that Jacob would be gone. Now I looked forward to it. Knowing now that Jacob felt and saw how I felt, knowing that he would always be with me.
I was overcome by drowsiness. And I slept curled in Jacobs arm on the drive home.
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