What did Bella say to Rosalie on the phone from Isle Esme? What went through Rosalie's mind? What happened when Edward and Bella arrived home from their honeymoon?
I own nothing in the Twilight universe. Missing moment from Breaking Dawn. Will be 2 or 3 chapters long.
3. What's the Big Deal?
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I have been trying to reason with Bella. Can’t she understand that I cannot bear to lose her again? What was I thinking, giving in to her ridiculous notion that we could be together, sexually while she is human? I hate myself for putting her in this position.
Yet, she is happy. I know that she is in pain, yet she is happy. She thinks everything is going to be ok. The bab—thing-- inside her will continue to grow, be born, and we will all live together as a happy family, in Bella’s plan. Why can’t she understand that this thing, this mutation, will kill her? And leave me alone, without her. Oh, God, what if it lives and she dies? Will I be strong enough to kill this thing that I hate, but she loves? What will it even be? Even Carlisle has no idea what we can expect, only that it seems to be growing at an alarming, and decidedly non-human rate.
Rosalie swept me into the house, deposited me on the white sofa, and began her vigil of acting as a line of defense between anyone with a medical instrument and my belly.Of course I’m scared. I would be apprehensive to be pregnant with a normal, human child—of course I’m frightened of what the future holds.But I look at it like this—how differently do most first-time mothers feel? Especially very young first-time mothers? No mother knows what the future holds for her baby and for herself. Things can go wrong in any pregnancy. So this child is not strictly human? Well, I can’t exactly be more worried about that than I am about everything else in my strange little life. When you throw your lot in with a vampire, you have to take these things as they come.And speaking of Edward, I wish he could speak to me, look at me, without all that anguish. I wish now that he could hear my thoughts and know that I love him now more than ever and in no way am I angry with him. Not that it matters. He is so angry with himself, even if I were angry with him, it would pale in comparison to his own self-loathing. I wish I could make him understand. I don’t care how much this child hurts me. I will survive, one way or another. If it comes down to me dying, I can be changed. We were going to do that anyway. The way I see it, I get a bonus—being with Edward forever, and having his child. He doesn’t care for my plan. He was honestly hoping that we’d go to Dartmouth and I would agree to stay human for several more years, if not indefinitely. No matter. If he won’t change me, I know Rosalie or Alice will.I’m actually very curious to know whether Rosalie truly cares whether I live or die. I remember what she told me that night Alice held me hostage, and now that I can feel this life inside me, I can begin to understand her agony, and even her unwillingness to let me truly become a part of the family.
RosalieEdward is really getting on my nerves. All this moping around feeling sorry for himself isn’t helping. If he must keep constant vigil over Bella, he could at least be helpful. He looks like a human who hasn’t slept for days, in fact he looks about as bad as Bella, only without the maternal glow.What is his deal? Carlisle thinks the baby will come within a few weeks. Of course he doesn’t want to see Bella suffer for that length of time, but really, after the eternity he’s lived, what is a few weeks?I suppose he is also worried about Bella losing her life, which has never meant as much to Bella as it does to him. I never realized Edward had so much—depth—to him. I don’t know what I believe about whether or not we have souls, but Edward does at least seem to have some inner angst-chamber. Maybe losing that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.It’s simple, really. We keep Bella as comfortable and healthy as possible until the baby comes. Then, if it is a relatively easy delivery, meaning it doesn’t kill Bella, we go on as before, only we have a baby to take care of.If it does kill Bella, well then, we make her one of us. The rest of the family keeps an eye on her, keep her from killing the townsfolk, and I raise the baby.What is the big deal?