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What I've Done

Summary:
Set sometime after New Moon, minus the events of Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. Edward left Bella again three years after she was changed. He told her he didn't love her and left her in pain, leaving the rest of the Cullens to care for her. Six hundred years later, Bella has earned the label of "Emo Girl" at every high school she attends despite her vampiric good looks. Then the Cullens return to Forks...


Notes:


1. Prologue: Left Again

Rating 3.1/5   Word Count 788   Review this Chapter

Isabella Marie Swan Cullen

I had an eerie sense of déjà vu as I walked slowly – for us – with Edward along the forest path. Three years ago he had changed me, and I'd never been happier. But now, walking hand-in-hand with my husband of three years, I felt uneasy. Like something bad was going to happen. But Alice would warn me, right? I mean…

We stopped suddenly, and dread washed over me as I saw how cold and emotionless his entire body was. There was no warmth in his eyes, no compassion or any of the qualities I loved. What had happened to him?

“Bella…this isn’t working. I can’t stay here with you any longer.” The words bit deep into my dead heart, and I felt the hole in my chest tearing open as he spoke. “I have to go. You can stay with the others – I am the one leaving.”

“You're leaving me again.” My voice was flat. It was a statement, not a question. Already I was retreating to my numbed existence. I couldn’t function in a world without him near me.

“Yes. I am sorry, Isabella.” I froze as he used my full name. Oh… His eyes were cold, not a speck of warmth in their flat black gaze. I nodded, just once, not even breathing. It hurt so much already…

“You are quite an actor, aren’t you, Mr. Mason?” I asked bitterly. I would not call him ‘Cullen’ again. That name was for Esme, Carlisle, Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie. Not this lying vampire who stood in front of me and tore my heart to pieces. Edward didn’t even flinch. “You managed to keep the act up for three years this time…well done. Do you want an award?” My tone was scathing, but it was the only way to hide the pain in my voice. “Good luck with your next distraction,” I spat, although my heart was breaking.

“I'm sorry,” he said coldly. I didn’t believe him. He didn’t sound one bit remorseful.

“You shouldn’t have let the thrill of the trick carry you away…but then, hurting me was all part of the act, wasn’t it?” I couldn’t look at him as I pulled the ring off my finger shakily. “Take it. Since you are no longer playing the part, there is no need for me to keep it.” I pressed the ring into his hand and didn’t look away from the ground. I felt his lips brush my forehead.

“From now I will think of you as my little sister,” he breathed as he slipped the ring into his pocket. “Take care…for the rest of them. Tell them I said to stay safe. Farewell, Isabella.”

And then he was gone. I didn’t bother trying to chase after him this time – there was nothing in his eyes or demeanour to tell me he was lying. And I would know this time. My vampire senses were better than my human ones. He meant every word he said. I sank to the ground as dry sobs wracked my body, my arms wrapping around my torso as the hole tore wide open and the pain grew excruciating. He had left me again – my life was over.

Alice found me not much later, and I was barely aware of Emmett’s strong arms carrying me back to the house. All I could do was cry and wish Edward hadn’t lied to me for so long. I dimly heard Jasper cry out in pain at feeling mine, and tried to let the zombie-like numbness take over me again to spare him the pain. I managed, barely, and opened my eyes to the rest of the family’s concerned faces. Even Rosalie looked worried, and she was the one stroking my hair as I choked out my story of what had happened. Emmett was furious, and started pacing as Rosalie and Esme hugged me and rocked me gently.

“It'll be okay, Bella,” Alice murmured sadly as she joined Esme, Rosalie and me on the big couch, all three of them hugging me tightly and holding me together as Carlisle and Jasper tried to calm Emmett down before he broke something.

“I'll try to continue, but…please don’t mention him ever again. I don’t think I'll be able to survive if I'm reminded,” I choked out. Rosalie hugged me tighter, and I sobbed the rest of the night, surrounded by my sisters and mother.

All that happened six hundred years ago. I don’t know why Edward left, if there was any reason apart from the one he had given me. I hoped he was dead, but at the same time I missed him. I hate and love him all at the same time. And I can’t ever forget him.