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What I've Done

Summary:
Set sometime after New Moon, minus the events of Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. Edward left Bella again three years after she was changed. He told her he didn't love her and left her in pain, leaving the rest of the Cullens to care for her. Six hundred years later, Bella has earned the label of "Emo Girl" at every high school she attends despite her vampiric good looks. Then the Cullens return to Forks...


Notes:


4. Three: "Isabella..."

Rating 4.3/5   Word Count 3526   Review this Chapter

Rosalie Lillian Hale Cullen

Once, the only things that mattered to me were my looks and Emmett. Now, though, I have someone else, who needs me just as much. Bella has borne the brunt of Edward’s lies, and somehow she ended up turning to me. And I could not turn away. After listening to Daniel and June’s story, I loathe Edward more than before. His lies broke Bella, and he doesn’t seem to realise. I absolutely despise him for what he's done to her. But, it's inevitable. We have to talk to him at some point. Unfortunately.

“Rose?” I heard Bella ask in a whisper, and kissed Emmett quickly before dashing upstairs to her side. She looked tired, and her heavy eyeliner had dissolved because of her tears.

“Hey Bella,” I murmured as I moved to her side to hug her. “How do you feel?”

“Worse,” she replied glumly, and I just hugged her as she mumbled. “I can’t believe he'd come here again…I would have thought he'd avoid the place. It hurts, Rose, it really hurts…”

“I know, sweetie, I know,” I whispered. She sniffed slightly and closed her eyes, the pain on her face making me want to kill Edward right now. We sat in her room completely silent until dawn.

Chloe Yasmin Allis Cullen

I had no clue what was going on, but I knew now that this Edward character was the reason behind Bella's depression. So she’d been married to him, and then he left her. I thought I could understand her feelings. I wouldn’t know what to do if Vinnie ever left me. I wouldn’t be able to stand it. It would break me…like it has broken Bella.

“Chloe? Come on, we have to get dressed for school now,” Vincent murmured in my ear. I opened my eyes, distracted from my thoughts, and stretched unnecessarily as I stood, glancing over my shoulder to see his reaction. He was staring at me, as usual, with that dopey grin on his face as he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, his face nuzzling the crook of my neck. He started to kiss a trail over my bare shoulder, but I stepped away and shook a finger at him.

“Uh-uh, Vinnie,” I murmured cheekily. “School, remember?” He summoned an adorable pout to his features, which I ignored as I dressed quickly. He still had the expression on his face when I turned back to him, and I kissed it away.

“Come on then,” he groaned when I pulled away. He grabbed my hand as we headed for the door.

“Let's go to school so we can get home,” he mumbled, and I smiled as we raced down the stairs to the garage.

Isabella Marie Swan Cullen

I wanted to die. I wanted to die more than I had ever wanted anything…oh, except for one thing. I wanted to kill a certain Edward Mason. I wanted to make him hurt as much as I had been hurting for the past six centuries…I wanted to make him beg for mercy and forgiveness. I never wanted this to happen. Who could have known when I went to Forks that I would fall in love with a vampire and have my heart torn out and trampled on by that vampire…twice? Perhaps I should reveal all my power to him, scare him witless by what I have become. My power only developed after he left. Funny…it took something so powerful as shattering my heart to bring out my power. How ironic. I lost the one man I loved, yet gained the power to destroy him and any other I pleased.

“Bella, please, calm down,” Rosalie murmured softly, and I glanced at Jasper to see him writhing on the floor. I instantly turned my mind to something lighter…the moonlight shining through the trees as I ran, the sound of Chloe and Vincent laughing…

“Thank you, Bella,” Jasper whispered, and I glanced at him again. He was sitting in front of me on my couch, his arms held out. I threw myself at him as Rosalie released me to our brother, and he rubbed soothing circles on my back as he sent waves of affection and good-will at me.

“Sorry, Jasper,” I murmured when I stopped crying so much. The tears really were flowing today. He didn’t say anything, but sent me a wave of calm and love among the affection. I really didn’t deserve such a wonderful family, but they were there and they were mine and that was all I needed.

We didn’t go to school that day, but we did go the next. I was burying my hurt behind the numbing wall I had first created when he left me the first time, and so I thought I was able to see him and not let it hurt me. Perhaps I should just shock him with what I've become…I'd be willing to bet he had not guessed I would become the one everyone called ‘that emo chick’…if he cared at all.

“Bella, calm,” Alice murmured, and I glanced at her to see her nod in Jasper’s direction. He was frowning, worried and pained at the same time. I forced myself to calm down, and replaced the numb wall. Jasper’s pain disappeared, although the worry was still etched into his and the rest of my family’s foreheads. I sighed silently, and got out of my car slowly. I ignored the mutterings of the human students, and just waited for the rest of my family to join me. Most of my classes were with Chloe, and it was often remarked upon that she was my total opposite. I didn’t say anything to that; I knew it was true.

“Will you be alright?” Jasper asked me quietly before he let me go off to my first class. I nodded once, although I wasn’t sure.

“I think so.” I bit my lip, a habit I hadn’t ever managed to break, and then made up my mind not to let myself be affected by the one person who could hurt me. “I'm pretty sure I'll be fine.” Jasper hesitated, but then nodded and followed Rosalie to their first class. A wave of affection and reassurance washed over me, and with new determination I adopted my yeah-I'm-depressed-and-angst-ridden-so-leave-me-alone posture to slink off to my first class.

I was really dreading lunchtime. I sulked in the back of all my classes, looking bored or depressed, and none of the teachers asked me to answer any questions. I guess my glares did that for me. Much to my relief, Emmett and Rosalie were waiting for me outside my last class before lunch, Jasper just a little way off. Alice was beside him, her eyes focused on my face, and as we started to walk Chloe and Vincent appeared, joining us. I was grateful to them all for being there to support me, and Jasper again sent a wave of calm over me. I cast him a short, grateful glance, and took a deep, unnecessary breath before following my siblings into the cafeteria.

As with the first day, everyone was muttering about my family. Especially me. It seemed that this school was more interested as to why ‘the emo chick’ was so sad when she apparently had a lot going for her. I felt like correcting them. Oh, if only they knew…

“Bella,” Alice whispered, and I glanced at Jasper to see his eyes tense, his calm smile gone from his face.

“Sorry,” I murmured, and forced the numb wall back into place. My hate and pain was a little too much for him to handle. Jasper sent a wave of reassurance and calm to me, and I thanked him silently with my eyes as we headed to an empty table. I didn’t look towards him the whole of lunch, and instead doodled on my notebook, as always. The book was filled with pages of black and red abstract drawings, often with skulls or blood incorporated. Emmett leaned over my shoulder.

“Creepy, Bella,” he muttered, and I glanced at what I'd sketched. Oh…a gallows. With a shadowed corpse hanging from the crossbeam. I slammed my book shut quickly. Emmett shook his head slightly with a sigh. “Ready for class?”

“No,” I mumbled. “Let's go. I don’t want to stay and listen to the gossip.”

Edward Anthony Mason Cullen Johnson

Bella was at school the second day after my former siblings came and attacked me. She looked as beautiful as ever, despite the horrendous clothes she was wearing. What in the world possessed her to dress like that? She looked much better in blue…

“Creepy, Bella,” I heard Emmett comment, and glanced towards the table where my ex-siblings sat to see Bella look down at a notebook in front of her. Her eyes widened, and then she slammed the book shut. Okay…what had she drawn that made her and Emmett react like that? June nudged my arm.

“Edward, get your butt off your seat and come on,” she murmured. “The bell’s gone.” I shook myself out of my thoughts and stood, leaving with Daniel and June. Only two more classes, and then I could leave this school, full of the memories I hated. I hated the memories for only one reason – they reminded me of what I had given up and lost.

I was silent and bored throughout my last two classes, just wishing the school day would end. After the end of my last class, I was surprised by someone slapping my shoulder with enough force to almost knock me over.

“Hey, you idiot,” Emmett growled, and I turned to look at him. He sucked in a breath as his eyes widened. “Jeez, you really are an idiot.” I ignored that comment, although I longed to joke about with him as we used to. Before I left Bella again. I turned and walked away, towards my car.

“Emmett, Bella needs you,” Jasper’s voice said softly, sounding…pained. Strange. If Bella was in pain, why wasn’t Jasper with her? There was silence bar the sound of the human school children laughing, relieved to be out of school, and then Jasper was walking beside me.

“Are you going to yell at me again, Jasper?” I asked dully, no inflection in my tone. I didn’t look at him.

“No. I'm here to tell you what a fool you are,” my ex-brother murmured as he kept pace with me. “You really are a fool. Do you know what I feel from you?”

“Do enlighten me,” I muttered, and saw Jasper shake his head out of the corner of my eye.

“Pain. As much as Bella feels. Love, longing, guilt, self-loathing, but mostly pain. You're ruining yourself, Edward,” he told me, before starting to walk away. “Tell her the truth, Edward. Do what's right.” I stopped completely still in the middle of the sidewalk, staring after Jasper. What…? What did he mean, tell her the truth? I hadn’t even told him the truth yet!

“June,” I growled under my breath. That was where she’d gone the night before last!

“What did I do?” June demanded as she and Daniel reached me. I shook my head in disbelief. No way…

“Never mind,” I muttered.

“Nothing important?” Daniel asked.

“No.” I was watching Bella walking in between Emmett and Rosalie; she looked so small beside them…

“Good. Because we're having some visitors tonight,” June said. I only heard her dimly.

“Okay…what?” June grinned.

“We're having some guests over later today to talk,” she repeated. “So you need to be sociable and polite.”

“Whatever,” I muttered, rebellious. Daniel chuckled.

“You are definitely a typical rebellious teen,” he commented, and I started to mutter epithets under my breath as we climbed into my car and I started the engine.

Jasper Whitlock Hale

I didn’t know what possessed June to invite us all over to her and Daniel's house, but I was more concerned with the affect on Bella when she was forced into close proximity to Edward. If she lost control…we’d have something a little worse to deal with than two vampires who were complete and utter masochists. Bella's power was terrifying. I'd only been exposed to it once, and yet…that was enough to last me eternity. I just hoped she wouldn’t lose control in the middle of town, or in the middle of the school. If there was any safe place for her to lose control, it would be in the middle of the Sahara desert or somewhere in Antarctica.

“Jazz?” I looked to Bella as her soft voice interrupted my thoughts. There she stood in the hallway, her eyes so sad and her whole stance very childlike.

“What is it, Bella?”

“Where are we going this evening?” I blinked, surprised. I'd almost forgotten how perceptive she was sometimes.

“We're going to visit some other vampires who are in the area,” I said cautiously, and winced as Bella's eyes widened and her pain overwhelmed me. “Bella…”

“Sorry,” she whispered, the pain replaced by shame and worry. I sent a wave of calm through her system. “Thanks.” I made myself smile at her reassuringly. She returned the smile faintly, the expression changing her face enormously, and then approached me in the study and sat at my feet. She leant her head on my knees and closed her eyes, and I stroked her hair gently.

“It'll be alright, Bells,” I murmured. “You'll see. Everything will be fine.”

Emmett Cullen

Bella. That was my only thought, my only concern, as we made our way to the address that woman called June had given us. Bella. My sweet, depressed little sister. I'd caught her drawing a gallows in her notebook earlier…things seemed to be getting worse. I mean, the worst thing she’d drawn before today had been a blood-spatter on a shadowy wall.

“Emmett,” Rosalie whispered, catching my attention. I glanced at her. “If it gets too bad…can you take her home?” I nodded, knowing Bella wouldn’t hear her question. My Rosalie relaxed. “Thank you,” she murmured.

“She's my sister too,” I muttered, and then we both fell silent as we reached the address we had been given. This was it.

Edward Anthony Mason Cullen Johnson

I stayed in my room until June appeared in my doorway and grabbed my arm, hauling me to my feet.

“You are coming downstairs, and you are going to be sociable. You are going to confess to Bella and tell everyone you are sorry. Or I'll beat your miserable hide until you do,” she threatened. I followed her sullenly, knowing they would never believe me. I was not worth it…I was a liar, and it only hurt the woman I loved. I saw Jasper wince as I joined them all in the living-room, and then saw Bella – my gorgeous Bella – glance at him apologetically.

“It's not you this time, Bella,” he murmured, and she frowned slightly, looking a little confused. Then she seemed to wave it off, deliberately not looking at me. I felt even worse, and sat in the chair closest to the door, ready to disappear should any of them assault me again. Jasper winced again, and I wondered why. Then the silence was broken by a slight scraping of a pen on paper. Everyone glanced at Bella, and I noticed she was sketching in her notebook. Emmett rolled his eyes.

“Not again, Bella,” he groaned, and she looked up at him slowly, pausing in her sketch.

“Shut up, Emmett,” Rosalie hissed before anyone else could say anything. “Don’t provoke her.”

“That would not be a good idea,” Bella murmured, looking back to her sketch. “You all know what happened last time.” Jasper winced and held his head in his hands. Bella looked at him and took a deep breath, as if readying herself for a great ordeal. “Sorry, Jazz. I've just been making things worse for you lately, haven’t I?”

“Not your fault,” Jasper muttered. I felt a crushing wave of guilt and loathing. How could I have done this? How could I ever take back what I've done?

Isabella Marie Swan Cullen

I sat beside Emmett and Jasper – one on either side of me – and waited along with everyone else for the one person – vampire – I wanted to kill to come join us. June left the room, and I heard her snapping at someone upstairs. I couldn’t quite make out the words, but I got the idea she was going into her ‘Mom’ mode. I masked the pain the best I could when he appeared behind June – looking a little sullen, mind you – but Jasper still winced. I cast him an apologetic glance, but he shook his head.

“It's not you this time, Bella,” he murmured. I was confused, but then I understood. Right. Someone else – namely the man I wanted to kill – was experiencing heavy amounts of a not-so-nice emotion. Poor Jasper. I didn’t look to the vampire who stood by the doorway, and saw Jasper wince again. I took out my notebook – which I'd brought with me for some reason – and started to draw again, this time making sure I didn’t draw anything that looked homicidal or suicidal. I'd already drawn a gallows today… Emmett looked down at my drawing and groaned.

“Not again, Bella.” I looked up at him slowly, my pen pausing on the paper.

“Shut up, Emmett,” Rosalie hissed, and I glanced to her. “Don’t provoke her.” Oh. Right.

“That would not be a good idea. You all know what happened last time.” I stopped and looked down at my sketch, and Jasper winced, burying his face in his hands. I took a deep breath, locking away all my hate and emotions behind the numb wall again. “Sorry, Jazz. I've just been making things worse for you lately, haven’t I?” I asked. He straightened up and put his arm around Alice’s shoulders again.

“Not your fault.” I personally disagreed with this comment, but I tried not to let him know that. Instead, I focused on the thought of moonlight, how nice it felt to stand in the rain…I felt a sense of peace – tinged with sadness, as always – and went back to my sketching.

“Why are we here?” I heard Chloe mutter, and glanced at her where she perched on Vincent’s lap. Esme turned to her and held her fingers to her lips.

“We are here because it’s time everyone heard the real reason why Edward left.” I winced at his name, and focused again on the things that made me calm so I wouldn’t hurt Jasper. I was too late, though; he groaned and doubled over. Esme looked at me and bit her lip, a worried frown on her face as I tried to think through the pain. No, no, no, no, no…come on and breathe, Bella, breathe! Focus on breathing…I did as I told myself to, and calmed myself down. Jasper managed to sit up straight again, and I started to apologise when he shook his head.

“Not your fault,” he whispered again, and I shook my head too. It was my fault, and I knew it.

“It is, Jazz,” I whispered back. “It is. I know it, and you all need to stop lying to yourselves and just accept that it is my fault.” There was a general growl of protest, but I was shocked when Edward spoke up for the first time.

“It’s not your fault, Bella,” he said softly. It was the first time I’d heard him speak to me since…no, Bella, focus! “It’s my fault. It always was. I was an idiot.”

“Finally, he admits it,” Emmett muttered, and then desisted when Rosalie glared at him. He shrugged. “You know it’s true.” I sighed and went back to my sketch. I looked at it, and realised I’d drawn the spirits that appeared when I lost control over my power and it summoned the spirits drawn to my pain and my anger.

“Isabella…” Edward said softly, and that was the last thing. I dropped my notebook and leapt to my feet, glaring at him as the pain stuck me hard. I changed it into hate and anger. That was much more useful than pain.

“Don’t call me that!” I screamed as Jasper doubled over in pain, groaning. I no longer cared; I was so full of anger and pain that nothing would make a difference. Alice knelt by her husband as everyone else stared at me, shocked. A wind I didn’t control lashed around the room, whipping my hair around my head as my eyes changed from topaz to ruby. Esme and Carlisle rushed Chloe, Vincent, June and Daniel to the door as Emmett tossed Jasper over his shoulder and headed for the door. Rosalie and Alice tried to calm me, but I wouldn’t be calmed.

“Edward, for your own safety, get out before she screams,” Alice yelled over the roaring wind as she and Rosalie retreated to the door.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said, as stubborn as always. Rosalie shrugged and disappeared as Alice hesitated. I managed to speak.

“Go, Alice! I don’t want to hurt you like I hurt Jasper and Emmett!” I called, and she paused only long enough to say one thing more before she disappeared.

“Don’t kill him, Bella. Listen to what he has to say.” I didn’t answer – not that she waited for one – and just continued to glare at Edward as he stepped closer.