Not Meant To Be
Okay, so Awesomealice94 had convinced me to write a story for the latest challenge. So I hope you like it and review! Nessie finds out that Jake has betrayed her for her mom years ago... What shall she ever do?
Disclaimer: All hail Stephenie Meyer for creating this wonderful and beautiful world that I can play with.
1. We are definitely not meant to be
Rating 5/5 Word Count 1685 Review this Chapter
I was humming to myself mildly, along with the radio as they played Disturbia by Rihanna in my bedroom. I absently ran my fingers through my curly auburn hair that I had inherited from my father. I stared at myself in the mirror-big brown eyes stared directly into mine, looking exactly like my mother’s. I sighed, no matter what people say, she’s going to be prettier than me for all of eternity. If I were her peer and not her daughter, I’d be green with jealousy since I didn’t have her looks with her smooth and board straight chestnut brown hair and size 3 body. I was a size two to my dissatisfaction, knowing that it sounded way too skinny. I was wearing a tight long sleeved white shirt with a baby blue feather vest and a pair of dark wash flare jeans. I heard the indistinct echo of footsteps pressed against the wooden floor of my house that I shared with my parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. To be brief, it was more like a mansion or manor than anything else.
“Honey, we have to sit down and have a talk now,” my mother had spoken with a hard tone from behind me. I swirled around to face her, letting my light and long hair twirl around me, making a moving curtain of thick hair. My mother was forever frozen to the life of a ripe age of 19 with her luscious thick dark chestnut brown hair. Her topaz eyes were darkened with seriousness etched into her wise eyes, that signaled that she was older than beyond her years. Her dark eyelashes were long and full without the use of wearing mascara, unlike mine. Her slender arms were crossed against her chest with my boyfriend, who was also a werewolf, trailing behind her petite frame as if he were a puppy being led back to home. I’m about her human age in physical appearance now, so it was hard to see her as my mother. I’m used to calling her Bella instead of mother since it’d be weird at school these days. Everyone would stare at us in disbelief if I call out, ‘Hey mommy!’
I fought an awed gape as I looked at him. Oh God, was he (also known as Jacob) as handsome as ever with his messed up raven black hair that gleamed a reddish tint in the loving sunlight? His caramel colored eyes reflected my presence as he gazed at me with a warm look. It took my whole might to repress my wanting of darting over to his side and be forever in his warm embrace. Jake had his lips set at a full pout as he started to whine,
“Aw. C’mon Bella, give me a hand here. It’s way too early to tell her now.” I arched my hazel brown eyebrow as I questioned in a high soprano voice,
“What am I not old enough to be told of?”
Jake casually draped his warm arm along my narrow shoulders as he gave me a small squeeze. His hot lips were pressed against my hair as it trailed down along the line of my jaw line. It was as if he wanted me to forget the question that I had just asked; like hell I would. My mother began to cough to remind us that we were under a parent’s supervision as Jake immediately stopped his actions and my face started to flush from neck to my face. My cheeks were a rosy color as Jake and I muttered our meek apologizes. Heck, she should know of all of this since she got married and CONCEIVED me when she was a 19 year old, not to mention, her honeymoon. That’s pretty wow for my mother because she was always portrayed as a rational and well thought out kind of character.
“Jake, you tell Nessie darling, I’ll go make some… cookies for the new neighbors,” Bella lamely excused herself as she scurried off into the kitchen. I knew that this was important if she was going to leave us be. If she had been a human once more, her face would be a royal red and she would’ve stumbled and had fallen. Aunt Rosalie, Alice, and Uncle Emmett used to retell me stories about her. I guess my personality really had taken after her. I started as Jake began to shuffle his way to my bed and sat on it. Thank God, I had just recently made my bed, or else, I’d be dead embarrassed.
When I gazed up into my lover’s eyes that were full of adoration and kindness, he motioned me to sit on his lap, and so that’s what I did. He grasped my hand as he ran his free tanned hand gracefully through the mess of his raven black locks of hair.
“You know how I have said that I love you, Nessie?” he started off nervously as I nodded meekly. Did he want to take that back now? I bit my lip to hold back the urgency to scream out loud. Not him, not Jake. I can’t live without him. He was the moon to my wandering and soul searching nights as he was also the shining sun to my dreadful rainy days.
His hold on my pale hand had tighten by a slight fraction as he continued, “Well you weren’t the only one I had loved. Well, I thought that I had loved another girl.
“You see, a long time ago when your mother was a human, I was a mere 16 year old. I was completely and totally inexperienced in the real world. So when I first met your mother again after a long period of time, with her angelic features and her locks of brown hair and all, I had originally thought that I had fallen in love with the perfect angel around. I had courted her back then, but each time, she had rejected me for the deep love with your father. But then, he had left her, fearing her safety and I seized that to… You know, replace him? I didn’t care if she hadn’t returned the feeling, I just wanted her mine. So I had done my best to put her back together, but something was always missing. Her laugh sounded a little hallow and her eyes seemed to be lost in a sea of mild depression. No matter what, I had said that she was fine and I tried to kiss her on a number of occasions.”
I heard myself let out gasp as my head started to spin once it had recognized that Jake had not loved me whatsoever. My knees were shaking a little bit as a faint question escaped through my dry lips,
“Did you like it? What happened?” I was afraid of the answer.
Jake’s face started to grimace when he heard the roughness of the tone of my voice as he answered it, “Sure I liked it… Back then, I did. You mom came out with a sprained hand from trying to punch me. It’s pretty obvious that I’m made of steel. Either way, I regret doing that now.”
‘No, you don’t!’ my mind screamed twice as louder than my normal yelling voice as I winced at the impact of it.
“The point Bella and I wanted to discuss with you is that I used to think I was in love your mother until the day I saw you. I found out that she was just a shiny, flashing object to distract my mind. I knew that you were the one and I wanted to let you know the whole truth of everything. I love you Nessie,” Jake whispered the last part with such a passion that my heart literally stopped a beat as he tried to lean down and kiss me.
“Get away from me! You don’t love me! I’m just replacing my mother for you and that’s all what you care about! That’s just sick, stay away from me! All what you say are so untrue! You still love my mom and when she rejected you, you turned to me! I hate you, Jacob Black.” I shrieked at the top of my lungs as big and fat crystal like tears started to freely streak down my cheeks as I leaped out of Jake’s lap and I dashed out of the house.
I’m just the replacement.
He never loved me.
He never will.
Jacob Black does NOT love you, Renesmee Cullen.
He just loves your mother.
The painful thoughts had circled my mind, suffocating me. I could hardly make out a single breath without full out panting. My face was stained with rivers of tears sliding down my stony feeling cheeks after learning of the fact that my true love had once loved my mother. My mother! How could she? Why did she do this to me? She had my father, why would she take Jacob too?
The little rational voice had chided that I was the one that came in-between the two of them. The pain of bearing the fact of my mom and Jake being together filled my mind with endless amounts of disgust and I needed to vomit. My legs wouldn’t budge any further as I collapsed on the cold ground. The damp and cold of the soil had numbed my body and paralyzed me from going any further. Mascara-stained tears had ran past my cheeks and onto the ground and some leaked into my mouth. It tasted of bittersweet sadness with a mix of salt.
I knew that deep down that I couldn’t live without Jacob, so I fumbled quite a bit in my jean pocket before I found my pocketknife that Uncle Jasper had given me for Christmas.
If I can’t have him, then there’s no point for me to live on. Without any hesitation, I stabbed myself, straight through the heart. That’s how I died after learning of my lover loving my mother. I have no regrets of my actions and I hope that Jake will find another girl to love.
If I can’t have him, then I can’t go on with my life.