After Edward left, Bella was heartbroken. The only thing that helped her get through it was Jacob, her best friend. But Jacob wants to be more than just friends. But how can she give her heart to him when it's broken? And what happens when Edward and the rest of the Cullens come back?
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Bella woke up to her alarm clock ringing and quickly hit the snooze button. She had a bad feeling in her gut and couldn't get rid of what happened yesterday with Jacob. She had said that she would try. Try to let Edward (cringe) go and Jake in, but how? Part of her wanted to, but the other part still wanted to hold onto Edward; the part that was still hoping for him to come back. But it had been over two years now and it wasn't fair to herself to keep holding onto him.
Still holding her breath when the phone rang and running to the door when someone knocked. Still leaving her window slightly open and even getting the mail herself when that was usually Charlie's job. Still hoping that he would atleast contact her but she was beginning to think that he really wasn't coming back.
"I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me," was what he said on the worst day of her life, two long years ago. The past two years were the longest and hardest of her life. But Edward was wrong when he said "It will be as if I'd never existed."
She would never forget him even if she wanted to and a part of her was beginning to want to, she was tired of the pain that came with thoughts of him. But the best year of her life was with Edward. Edward had been her reason to live for a year. She loved him more than anyone she ever loved before, even her mom and Charlie. She was willing to let them go to be with him. He was her first love. She about died when he left, if it wasn't for Jake she probably would have.
Jake. His name brought her back to the present. She had to try. For herself and for Jacob. She just had to focus on Jake more. It wasn't hard to do when he was with her. Jake was her best friend. She loved Jake. Just not the way that he wanted her to love him. But she knew that with time, she could. Maybe a little more force would help. She would have to tell him that it was okay for him to push her a little, gently. That it might help. She loved and hated being with Jacob at the same time. Loved being with him, hated not being able to give him what he wanted. But now she would, she thought.
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! She jumped at the sound of her alarm clock going off. "Oh crap!" she said looking at the time 7:45. She jumped up and went to her closest quickly to get clothes. She had to be at work in fifteen minutes! Not feeling like going through her closest for a pretty outfit , she grabbed a pair of jeans off her rocking chair that she wore yesterday- not caring that it smelled like coffee and that it had a stain of the butt. Hopping up and down and almost tripping over her two left feet, she grabbed a plain dark blue v-neck out of her drawer.
She silently thanked God that she didn't have to wear a uniform in the little family owned used book store that she worked at throughout the week. It wasn't much and it didn't get that many customers but it was the only bookstore in Forks. It was opened a year ago by a woman in her late thirties who had a fifteen year old daughter. She had run into Ginny (the fifteen year old daughter) at Forks on graduation.
Well run was actually a nice way to put how she had tackled her to the ground as she tripped trying to get to her seat. Bella shook her head at the memory. Only SHE could trip over nothing except for maybe air. She really needed to break out of this habit of being late before she tripped in front of a moving car instead of a girl. She had scrambled up off the ground completely horrified and helped the long red-headed girl up as she rambled apologies to her, saying how she was so clumsy that walking around her should be a health-hazard.
The girl was grinning from ear to ear and Bella finally shut up as the girl with green eyes and blazing hair stuck out her hand to shake "I'm Ginny, and I hope you had a nice trip," she had said as Bella shook her hand.
She laughed as she answered her "Bella".
"Well, it's rude to hit and run but you should probably get going or you're gonna miss your graduation," Ginny said releasing her hand. Bella's eyebrows had furrowed, she had completely forgotten about graduation!
"What?" she asked stupidly. Ginny now too had a confused look on her face as she glanced at Bella's head then looked behind her. Bella lifted her hand and felt at where Ginny had looked to find her graduation cap then looked behind Ginny and gasped.
"OH! I'm sorry! I got to go!" she apologized, wide-eyed, walking quickly past Ginny to get to her seat. Bella snapped out of the memory as she reached the store in her big red truck.
Amazed at how she didn't have an accident while driving and reliving an embarrasing memory at the same time, she parked in her usual spot and got out. She walked in quickly and looked at the clock, she was right on time.
"Hey Bella! I wasn't expecting you for atleast ten more minutes," Annie, Ginny's mom said smiling on top of a chair at her while putting up books.
Bella smiled at her "Sorry, did you get new books?" she asked, scanning the store that seemed more full than the last time she was here.
"Yeah, we ran into a yard sale that had a ton of good books on our way back from South Dakota," Annie said. Annie was just an older looking version of Ginny or Ginny was just a younger looking version of Annie, whatever. Anyways they both look just alike except Annie's got brown eyes and she's a little bigger than Ginny. Annie had taken Ginny to her Dad's a month ago so she could spend some of her summer with him. Bella didn't know much about Ginny's dad except that his name was Jack and that he and Annie had been lovers in high school.
"So did you get Ginny? Is she here?" Bella asked excitedly, walking quickly to the little room where Ginny stayed a lot in the store. Finding it empty she turned back to Annie.
"Yeah, she's here in Forks, but she crashed when we got back. You do realize it's just eight o' clock in the morning right?" Annie said smiling. She was obviously happy that her daughter was back. Both her and Bella had missed her.
Bella squealed excitedly, "Can I go wake her up?" she asked quietly enough so it didn't carry past the store and upstairs where Annie and Ginny lived in the small two room apartment.
"Sure. if you're not afraid to die," Annie said sarcastically but fully meaning it.
Bella laughed "Now you know me, Ann. I'm not afraid of a little danger," she said over her shoulder as she ran up the stairs loudly.
She went straight to Ginny's door that held her ROOM RULES poster on it and read it out of habit before banging open the door.
ROOM RULES WARNING
You are entering an extreme mood swing zone.
DO NOT PANIC
Excessive singing and/or jumping around are not life threatening.
DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING
Messiness is a sign of genius.Tidying up could impact negatively on my mental development.
RESPECT THE 3 M'S
My Room, My Space, My Business
HOURS OF OPERATION
Never before noon!
Cash donations welcome
"Get up, you lazy bum, I haven't seen you in a month!" she yelled, jumping on Ginny's bed as she groaned.
"Too early,go away," she said into the pillow as she rolled over so it sounded like "Too earney, no way."
"Too early my butt! Get up! Before I tackle you!" Ginny groaned again and rolled onto her side away from Bella.
"Go away Mom! I'll tell you about the trip later!"
"Mom?!" Bella gasped. "It's Bella you idiot!"
Ginny sat up quickly and looked Bella over for a mila sec before throwing herself into Bella's arms."Bella!" she laughed as they both rolled off Ginny's twin bed and onto the messy floor. They landed with an "Ooof!" with Ginny on top of Bella. "I haven't seen you in forever!" she exclaimed rolling off Bella and standing up. She helped Bella to her feet and gave her another bear hug when she was balanced.
"Yeah I know! How was your trip?"
"Good, good, I'll tell you 'bout it later, but I'm starving now!" she said grabbing Bella's arm and pulling her out of her room full of band and hot boy posters.
Her walls were so full that you could barely even tell what color they were painted. Bella followed the crazy girl with her eyes as she scrambled around making coffee and putting pop tarts in the toaster. Ginny had on loose black pants and a matching tank top. Ginny turned around with pop tarts and coffee in her hands as she strolled to the dining table and sat across frolm Bella.
She grabbed the sugar jar on the table and started putting a lot of spoonfuls of sugar into her coffee as she asked "So have you finally put poor Jake out of his misery and hooked up with him yet?" Ginny asked casually without looking up. Bella drew in a breath and let it out slowly.
"No, and I don't feel like talking about Jake right now. Tell me about your summer," she said wearily, not ready to approach the topic of Jacob.
Ginny shot her a glare and Bella knew that she was going to have to tell her later. But for now Ginny told her about her summer and they talked and laughed until Annie called their sorry asses down to get back to work. She worked until four o' clock, skillfully dodging any topic that went near Jacob, not ready to discuss his and her relationship yet since she herself wasn't sure what their relationship was now. She had called Jake earlier that day and they had made plans for tonight.
But it was different than usual, more formal as if it was a date. Bella wasn't sure how she felt about that but she would try to have fun tonight. He was going to pick her up at six and since the weather was warmer than usual they were going to go to the beach and then go motorcycle riding. She said goodbye to Annie and Ginny and left for home thinking about motorcycle riding. It was a hobby that she had gotten into with help from Jacob after Edward left. It felt good- riding, letting the wind run throught her hair since you you didn't have to wear a helmet in Forks.
It's an amazing rush and it feels like flying. At the time it was wonderful to do something that Edward wouldn't want her to do. A rebellion against him. A defiance. After the crying, she became numb. But when she rode, she let all her emotions out. She let them flow right out of her in the riding instead of keeping them in like usual to protect the people around her. And Jacob was willing to do anything to help her get over Edward- even teach her something that her dad would kill him for.
Good thing Charlie didn't know then, Bella thought as she put on a clean pair of jeans over her bathing suit. Summer was good this year, warm, so they could swim in the ocean instead of just hanging around on the beach like they usually did. She pulled on a nice shirt even though she was probably going to get it dirty, but she wanted to look nice for Jacob.
After getting dressed she went downstairs and fixed Charlie and herself dinner. While they ate Bella told Charlie about her plans with Jake and then cleaned up afterwards. Just when she got done cleaning the dishes there was a knock on the door. "I'll get it Dad, it's Jake," she said and walked quickly to the door. She took a deep breath before she opened it to a grinning Jacob. He looked her over- like usual but Bella felt nervous this time as Jake's eyes raked over her body and had to fight the urge to wrap her arms around herself.
"You look nice," he said matter of factly.
"Thanks," Bella replied a little awkwardly.
"You ready to go?" he asked her.
She said bye to Charlie over her shoulder and walked with Jake to his car. They reached the passenger side and Bella was wondering why he wasn't getting in at the driver's side. She looked at him confused and he seemed to be unsure of himself before he finally opened her door for her. She finally understood that he was deciding whether to open the door for her or just go to the driver's side as she stepped in red-faced. She cringed when she remembered that Edward had opened the door for her and she quickly hid it as Jacob got in and cranked the car up.
They were both silent as they drove to Jake's house to get the bikes. To say that it was just awkward would've been an understatement and Bella let out a sigh. This was one reason why she didn't want to do this with Jake- it would ruin the friendship, but remembering the conversation that they had yesterday she quickly tried to get in "the mood" to try harder.
"Okay," she finally said, not able to handle the awkwardness anymore, "I hate that this is awkward. It's not a big deal, it's just two friends who are trying to push their relationship to the next level," she finished in a higher voice then normal and she knew that it was a big deal.
"Okay," Jake said letting out a breath that sounded like he had been holding in, "Let's just act normal and see how it goes from there."
"Okay," Bella agreed.
She chuckled nervously at the way Jake had put it. "Normal. Let's just act normal," like it was that easy. They got to the house and jumped out. They both got on their motorcycles and with Bella going first started heading toward the beach. Jacob quickly caught up to her and shot her a cocky grin before accelerating loudly and taking off past her. Bella rolled her eyes, but couldn't help smiling as she reved her bike to catch up with him. They were going over the speed limit and thankfully there were no police officers out. She could just picture Charlie's face as he pulled them over and found out who it was.
Bella watched Charlie's face in her head turn from recognision to realization to horror and to complete outrage in less than thirty seconds. That would be just perfect. They reached the beach and parked their bikes. Bella felt a little high from the speed as she got off the bike and stumbled a little. Jake caught her chuckling.
"It's amazing you can even walk near the bike without making it fall over, much less ride it," he said laughing now. Bella punched his shoulder and stuck her tongue out at him.
"I bet I could beat you in a race," she said without thinking and slapped herself mentally.
"Yeah right!" Jacob said with wide eyes, shocked at her for even making such a statement.
He had stopped making fun of her though, so Bella decided to go with it and set her features to a confident expression. "You couldn't beat me if I drove with one hand and gave you a head start," Jake said.
"I could beat you fair and square easily," she shot back, trying hard to stop from laughing at how he was actually taking her serious. She wasn't even taking herslef serious! Beat Jacob in a motorcycle race?! It was crazy and dangerous. For her atleast, Jake and his wolf self was almost invincible.
"What?! I'm the one who taught you how to ride" Jacob said incredulously, they had both forgotten about the beach.
"So! That doesn't mean anything!" Bella lied.
"Oh says the grasshopper!" Jacob said sarcastically.
"Okay fine. If you're so sure that you can beat me, then why don't we just have the damn race?" Bella bluffed, having fun.
"Well, be- because, cuz I I" Jacob stuttered, at a loss for words.
"Well, be- because, I, I just don't want to get beat by a girl!" Bella mocked him, failing at trying not to laugh at his frustrated face.
"No! I just don't want to see you get hurt!" Jake said.
"Ahhh, that's so sweet Jake and a complete lie." Bella laughed.
"Come on Jake it'll be fun!" Bella pleaded, now really wanting to do it. She pouted her best Alice pout. Jacob looked at her, groaned and said
"Okay, fine! We'll have the stupid race!"
"Yes!" Bella said jumping up in the air.
"Under one condition," Jacob added and Bella immediately stopped jumping not liking the sound of this. Jacob grinned at her, "Well, what's the point of a bet if the winner doesn't get anything?" He asked.
"Okay fine, what do you want?"
Jake turned red and smiled at her nervously. "If I win, you have to kiss me," he said. Bella looked away and bit her bottom lip to keep from going against it or groaning.
"And if I win?" she asked.
He shrugged "What do you want?" he asked, a smile set from ear to ear that was heart breakingly beautiful at the possibility of her aggreeing to the deal.
"Hmmm," Bella thought, knowing that she had to do this bet now or break his heart.
They had started walking on the beach during the argument and she turned to look at their bikes which were now a little far away. She finally looked at Jacob. He was still smiling and looking at her. Damn! What did she want? "Oooh! I know. You have to take me and Ginny out to wherever she wants to go since she just got home," Bella said smiling to herself at her good idea.
"Deal," Jacob said automatically. But as realization sunk in that they were really going to do this Bella grew a little nervous.
"We're not going to do this now, though, right? Because you know me, if I race without a helmet you'll end up scraping my brains off a tree."
"Okay, we can do it this weekend then, that gives us five days since it's Monday."
"Okay," Bella agreed.