“I better dream if I have to struggle” Story of 19 year old Mary Alice Brandon
Disclaimer- i own nothing Story is finished, so posting should be done regularly :) i started this last winter and haven't told a single person about it until a couple of months ago-which was hard for me, as you can imagine :) i finished two days ago
11. Chapter 11
Rating 5/5 Word Count 1775 Review this Chapter
~I won't always be this strong
And I won't always be the one
To kiss the bruise
Or heal the scrapes
To wipe the tear drops from your face
But I will always love you more each day- I will always try to keep you safe
So open up your eyes
So they can look in mine and see a small reflection
And when you close your eyes
I pray the thoughts inside are beautiful and true~ Always-Plumb
~I won't always be this strong
Mary Alice walked around the rec room over and over again.
It had been a few days since she had last had her shock treatment and had therefore last seen Dr. James Cutting. She sighed once and looked to her right. From what she could tell, looking through the bars on the very few windows in the rec room, it looked as though it was going to rain.
It didn’t make much of a difference; it always rained for her. She sighed again as she still shuffled one foot after the other. She was pacing. She only did that when she was nervous. And today she was nervous, and she had good reason to be. She hadn’t seen Dr. Sacks in two days. Usually, it was, at most, only one day. He seemed to leave for a day every 2 weeks. But this was longer than normal.
“Alice!” Bethany called her from across the room. Mary Alice awoke from her reverie of nervousness and rushed away from the windows, to little Bethany. She was seated on a blanket that was resting on the cold ground. There were various toys, which were either hand-me-downs or things that nurses donated, that were scattered around her. But still, as always, she had her teddy bear sitting in her lap. Beth had picked up Dr. Sacks nick name for Mary Alice, calling her ‘Alice’ for short.
“Yes, Beth?” Mary Alice asked her, smiling as she sat on the ratty blanket next to her. Bethany looked up at Mary Alice.
“Why are you walking around the room?” she asked. Mary Alice raised her eyebrows in surprise. She couldn’t help but gape at Bethany. Beth never really put a coherent sentence together that made sense. She never really observed something in depth before. Though she was little, she should have been able to quite a while ago.
“Well, I…I’m…I’m just waiting for somebody.” Mary Alice mumbled, picking up a cloth doll.
“Who are you waiting for?” she asked. Now Mary Alice was even more impressed-was Bethany getting better? She ran a hand through her black hair-kept spiky and short ever since coming here.
“Dr. Sacks, remember him?” Mary Alice asked. Bethany nodded to her.
“Beth,” Mary Alice started after a few moments of silence, “who taught you to speak so well?” she asked carefully. She approached the subject with the upmost hesitance-as if Bethany speaking and thinking clearly were a fly on the wall-one sudden movement could cause it to fly away, and very quickly.
“My nurse-she says I’m getting better. She also says that you help me too.” She answered in a very cute yet intelligent manner. That wasn’t usually how Bethany spoke. Mary Alice smiled,
“But you’re the one who speaks so well. Beth, you’re getting a lot better!” She smiled, picking Bethany up carefully and putting Bethany in her lap. Mary Alice hugged her. Then she started to tickle her-Bethany was very ticklish, and she smiled for once when she was tickled. It was good to see some hope in this place full of despair.
Bethany started to giggle, “You’re doing so well! I’m so proud of you, Bethany!” She praised before putting Bethany back on the blanket. Bethany smiled and looked towards the door-towards the dripping wet Dr. Carlton Sacks.
“It’s raining.” Mary Alice stated before getting up to go see him. He nodded,
“I just got in a few minutes ago.” He informed her. Mary Alice looked in his eyes-they were lighter than normal. More warm and inviting. The dark circles under his eyes seemed to vanish over the last two days.
“Bethany is getting so much better-she spoke to me like a normal, intelligent person just now.” She informed him. Dr. Sacks looked over her shoulder and at Bethany,
“Bethany-Alice tells me you are doing better with your speech. Is that true?” he asked her. She nodded and smiled at him,
“Yes, it is true.” She went back to playing with her bear after she answered. Even Carlton raised his eyebrows in surprise.
“Amazing.” He muttered. Mary Alice nodded, smiling slightly.
“Where were you? You were gone longer than normal.” Mary Alice said to him. He opened his mouth then closed it. Carlton knew that this question might be coming from Mary Alice.
“Do you remember what we were talking about that one morning-but we deiced to put it off?” Carlton asked her carefully. Mary Alice raised her eyebrows-she wasn’t expecting that.
She nodded slowly, “yes.” She said it was hesitation.
“Perhaps we should talk about it now.” He offered. Mary Alice had a confused expression on her face, “I know it’s an odd time to talk about it, but in order to answer the question you just asked me … we have to.” Carlton could not believe he was doing this. He had too though-it was only a matter of time before Alice guessed what he was anyways. And it was better to tell her himself rather than have James do it.
“Okay.” She whispered. He took her hand and led her to her room. They walked in silence-both knew this would be a long talk. All of the years of hiding his secret, and now Carlton was finally going to tell somebody.
Dr. Sacks opened Mary Alice’s room with his key and then closed it behind them.
“Maybe you should sit down for this.” He offered, gesturing to her bed. She nodded and sat down on the edge of her bed as he sat down on a chair across from her. He took a deep breath,
“What do you think I am?” he asked her, whispering. His eyes were full of curiosity when Mary Alice looked into them.
“I…” she began.
“It’s okay if you get it wrong-I won’t get mad or angry at you, Alice. I never will-you have to know that.” he said to her. She nodded biting her lower lip nervously,
“I…I think….I think you’re a…A…vampire.” she whispered, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. Carlton’s breath caught and he looked at her with amazement when she opened her eyes.
“How did you figure it out?” he asked her, still whispering. She stopped breathing, her eyes grew bigger.
“I’m…I’m right?” she asked him, stammering in disbelief.
He nodded once, “yes.” How he wished she could have guessed ‘human’ instead and have it be true.
“I didn’t know,” she said it quickly, “I didn’t know if I was right. It’s just-I noticed things over the years. The way you are colder than others, how pale you are, the dark circles under your eyes, your white teeth-nobody has extremely perfect teeth. And how you didn’t seem to change much since I first met you. Your eyes change though-now they are a light brown when before you left they were black. And you go away a lot-you don’t eat anything around me. What do you do when you’re gone every couple of weeks?” she asked, panting from not breathing through her explanation.
It took Carlton a moment to process how much she noticed, “Well…you said that I don’t eat in front of you-that’s true. It’s because I don’t eat food.” He didn’t know how to explain this.
“You drink blood-don’t you?” she asked him. He cringed at the word ‘blood’ but nodded,
“But I don’t kill humans-I never want too. It takes amazing self control to not drink human’s blood-I learned about a way around it though, from another vampire who was in the medical field when I met him in Chicago. He told me that I could drink animal blood instead-and so I have ever since. It doesn’t make me as strong as I would normally be, but it’s worth it. I don’t like when people are killed-it’s just not moral. When I go away every two weeks I travel to places that have more plentiful supply of wildlife-sometimes you can grow tired of the same thing each time.” he explained.
“So you don’t kill humans?” she asked him.
“No.” he shook his head.
“I knew you never did.” She whispered. He looked at her,
“How?” he asked curiously.
“You can’t kill somebody-you are just so…so compassionate. I never really thought you did, you are too nice. To kind. To kind to do that to somebody.” She explained. Carlton breathed a sigh of relief,
“You don’t know how much that means to me. Being what I am…I often look at myself as some disgusting monster that has no place on this earth. I’ve never found anybody that cares for me-I feel like I’m not supposed to be alive.”
“I care for you.”Mary Alice said to him, reaching out and laying her hand gently on his. It was cold, but that felt nice-normal- to her. He looked up from the ground that he was staring at. Alice was the one and only person of whom he trusted and cared about. She was the light out of his darkness. She was the only one his thoughts were about-she was his only hope to feeling normal.
“I care for you too.” He said to her, holding her hand. “Does my being…immortal…scare you? Even a little?” he asked her.
“No-not at all actually.” She said to him.
“Why do you think that is? Normal people would run screaming out of the room.” he mused.
“I’m not normal.” She shrugged, simply. He looked at her curiously as a small smile was playing on his lips,
“You seem as though you’ve been prepared for this talk….you didn’t have a vision, did you?” he asked her.
“I have been prepared for this talk-but I didn’t have a vision about it. I prepared myself.” She explained, “I knew that we would talk about this again.” She shrugged again.
He nodded, “you probably have a few more questions.” He guessed.
“Just a few.” She smiled slightly.
“Well, then fire away.” He nodded encouragingly at her, still holding Alice’s hand.
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