The Cullens take Bella on a much needed vacation to Loch Ness. Hmmmm.......... Previously called 'Loch Ness With The Cullens'.
5. Chapter 5: Toasters and Juice
Rating 5/5 Word Count 1167 Review this Chapter
Chapter 5: Toasters and Juice
I gawked at the boat. It was very big. Very, very big.
“Is Bella ever going to move her butt?” Emmett complained from behind me.
I glared at he before turning around and starting up the ladder to the door. And I tripped. And I cussed. And Edward caught me. And Emmett laughed. Curse you, Emmett.
I eventually made it to the interior of the first room, though. And it was also very, very big. Big surprise.
Edward stood behind me, “Do you like it?”
Emmett passed by us, humming something by Fergie. I guess he was still into the singing thing.
Alice suddenly appeared by my side, holding an arm full of food. “I know you’re hungry, Bella, don’t deny it!”
“Don’t deny the truth, Bella, don’t!”
“Shut up, Emmett!” Edward yelled.“Shut up,
Just shut up, shut up
Just shut up, shut up
Shut it up
Just shut up-”
“Emmett, if you don’t stop singing, I will go over there and push you off this boat!” I told you vampires were violent. Even my Edward.
I nibbled on the end of a cookie while Edward cussed Emmett out under his breath. I guess he was in a bad mood.
“Edward, stop cussing in front of your girlfriend - wait, WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO, ROSALIE HALE!”
We walked to Emmett and Rosalie’s room at the end of the hallway, Edward smiling the whole way.
We opened the glass door and walked into a frilly, sequin-y, pink room with Emmett standing open-mouthed at Rosalie who was sitting in the middle of the room in a pink fluffy chair, magazine in lap, smiling up at Emmett.
Snicker, snicker. He deserved it.
“I hope you didn’t do that to mine.” I whispered to Edward.
He shook his head, “You’d murder me.”
“You bet I would.”
I woke up the next morning in my room. Edward smiled at me from the rocking chair he had abducted (the author of this would like to say ‘Stupid, thieving vampire,’ you may carry on with your program).
After showering and getting dressed, I walked down the stairs to the first floor where the kitchen was.
Emmett was flipping pancakes on the stove that was used just for me, singing Girlfriend. I guess he was into Avril Levine now.
“Um, Emmett, why are you making pancakes?”
“Edward said you need to eat.”
“Then why are you making the food?”
“Cause I used to like pancakes.”
“I guess that makes sense….”
He went back to singing and I stared out at the ocean, lost in thought….
Emmett jumped again. The boat leaned forward, then bounced back up.
“EMMETT, I’M TRYING TO TAN!!” Rosalie scream from the front deck.
“Can vampires tan?” I asked Emmett, who was grinning evilly. He was still trying to get back at Rosalie for turning their room into a frilly nightmare.
“No, but she still tries.”
“Even after 80 years?”
Emmett jumped again and I heard Rosalie shriek.
“EMMETT, YOU STOP IT NOW BEFORE I DIVORCE YOU’RE VAMPIRE BUTT AND MAKE MYSELF A NEW HUSBAND!”
“EMMETT! STOP, WE’RE GETTING OFF COURSE!” Edward scream from his music room.
Emmett grinned, but sat back down on a wooden barstool.
Then, Jasper walked in and stole the limeade carton from me.
“Jasper, why did you take my limeade?”
“Well, I felt like having a human moment, so I decided to go drink some juice. And it’s pretty.”
“Won’t you have to barf it up later?”
“Yep. But who cares?”
Suddenly, Emmett got a sneaky look in his eyes. He snatched the toaster from the counter and ran at vampire speed down the hallway. Jasper followed him at vampire speed and I was left running normally, tripping over my own feet.
Soon, I reached the last door on the right, and opened it to see Emmett leaning over the computer intently, toaster tucked under his arm and Jasper watching him from across the room.
“You’re selling our toaster on eBay?” I asked.
“To some Cuban dude in Australia, yeah.”
“Emmett, are you selling another toaster on eBay?” Alice asked, walking into the room reading an issue of Time.
“To that Cuban dude in Australia?”
“I’m going to go dance in the kitchen with Rosalie.”
Alice walked out after throwing Jasper her magazine.
“Do they do that a lot?”
“What else do you use kitchens for?”
“I can think of a few things.”
“Human things.” Jasper muttered.
“I’m going to go get more juice.” he then announced, walking at human speed to the kitchen so I could keep up.
Once there, I saw Rosalie and Alice doing the Can-Can between the island and counter with there arms joined.
“Um, can I just, yeah…” Jasper muttered, trying to get between them to refill his juice. Alice and Rosalie separated a little, but still danced as Jasper squeezed between them.
Edward appeared in the kitchen with Emmett’s toaster tucked under his arm.
“EDWARD! GIVE ME MY TOASTER!” Emmett scream from behind Edward.
Edward smirked and stuck the toaster on the other side of the granite island, away from the dancing vampires.
Emmett appeared, trying to reclaim his toaster. But, the idiot that he is, he tried to fight through the dancing girls instead of going around.
“MY TOASTER, MY TOASTER!” he squealed like a little girl.
Jasper smiled at him, took the toaster and walked around. “Sup.”
“MY TOASTER, MY, sup, Jazz,” Emmett said, pausing, then started thrashing again, “MY TOASTER, MY TOASTER, MY- wait, where is it? JASPER!!!” He said, breaking away and then turning to where Jasper was standing in the door way.
“JASPER!” Emmett scream, pleased to figure out his little puzzle, then ran towards his brother.
“ALICE!” Jasper scream, throwing the sacred toaster to his wife.
Alice caught it, then turned to Edward as Emmett started to struggle towards her, “EDWARD!”
He caught it, then unthinkingly turned to me, “BELLA!”
I caught it, then dropped the toaster, causing a mark on the floor. Fortunately, Emmett was still confused, so I quickly picked it up and turned towards Rosalie. “ROSALIE!!” I cried, then threw it to her using a weak overhand.
“Ugh, I might break a nail.” she said, flipping her hair over her shoulder.
The toaster clattered to the ground, landing on Willa the vampire kitty and Buffy the vampire slayer bunny.
“Why are other fanfiction pets here?” I asked.
“Maybe they crossed the internet to find us!” Alice offered.
“It doesn’t matter now, their dead.” Jasper said, flinging them out the window.
“JASPER!” We cried out in unison.
“How could you, Jasper!” Alice cried, “I finally found Buffy!”
“And I loved Willa! Her name had ‘Fergalicious’ in it!” Emmett sobbed.
“They aren’t our fanfiction.” Jasper informed us.
“Point.” We agreed, getting over our loss.
“I’m going to go check our location.” Edward said.
“Oooo! Isn’t that the little control tower thingy?” Emmett asked.
“Yeah.” Edward said, utterly confused.
“Oooo! I wanna come! Can I, can I, pleeeeease, Edward!”
“As long as you don’t press all the buttons.”
“YAY! I GET TO GO TO A TOWER WITH EDWARD! I GET TO GO TO A TOWER WITH EDWARD!” Emmett rejoiced, bouncing up and down, causing the boat to rock.
We started up to the forth floor to the control room with Emmett squealing the whole time. Yeah he’s a freak. (A very hot freak, the author would like to add.)
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