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Perspective

Summary:
Edward told Bella he had talked with his father and brothers regarding their wedding night. This is my version of that missing moment from between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn and includes what Edward and Bella do to prepare for their first night together as husband and wife.


Notes:


10. Chapter 10

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 1846   Review this Chapter

At ten I said goodnight to Bella promising to return after Charlie was asleep. Some nights I would go directly to her room and wait for her, but I had some things I wanted to do. One of those was confirm with my brothers when we would be leaving on our hunting trip.

The other. I finally had to admit that Emmett’s present could prove to be more helpful than I’d originally admitted to myself. I needed to do some research and from the titles of the books, they might prove worthy.

Pulling my Volvo into the garage, I heard Rose under the Jeep before I saw her.

Idiot. Your going to kill her you know. Then we’ll have to leave even sooner. She paused in her thoughts only briefly. Idiot! Moron! Stupid! She continued to hurl insults at me until I disappeared into the house.

Finding my brother’s turned out to be easier than I’d planned. The two were in the back yard wrestling. They looked up when they saw me.

Both smiled. “You up for a round, man?” Emmett said, lowering himself back into a hunting crouch. He must have seen a no coming because he didn’t give me time to respond. Instead he leaped at me. If I hadn’t had the warning from his thoughts, I would have found myself on the ground.

He turned to face me and pounced again. And again I evaded. “Come on man.”

Throughout the exchange with Emmett, Jasper stood watching. He didn’t speak out loud but his thoughts were quite clear. Never has any fun anymore. Always so tense.

He was right of course. I spent most of my time with Bella. That meant I had to be in control at all times. I rarely ever engaged in play anymore with my brothers. Hunting. I felt my muscles flex just thinking about it. Deer were so weak and did not put up the fight my body desired. Emmett and Jasper were right. I needed this.

As I moved once again out of Emmett’s path, I turned to face him and slipped into a crouch of my own. I leapt a sixty-fourth of a second before Emmett saw me. It was enough and we both went crashing into a tree on the other side of the yard.

We both rolled over laughing. Emmett didn’t give me much time to recover though. I heard his thoughts before he reacted and managed to move out of the way of his aim again. We continued like this for several minutes with Jasper joining in on the fun and even managed to rattle a few more trees. It felt good to let my muscles stretch like this.

All too soon I heard Alice moving upstairs and it reminded me of Bella. The instant I realized she hadn’t been in the front of my mind for the last twenty minutes, I felt guilty. My brothers noticed the change in my mood.

Emmett gave a little pout. I ignored him. “When are we leaving?”

It was Jasper that answered. “Carlisle is coming too so we were thinking of leaving after his shift.” It was summer, and as a precaution Carlisle was working mostly nights. His shift would be over around eight in the morning, which meant I wouldn’t be able to spend Friday with Bella at all.

I sighed, resigned. I had to keep reminding myself this would be the last time I had to be away from Bella this long. I nodded and headed up to my room.

As I made my way up the stairs, I heard Alice humming to herself in her room. The door was closed as I passed. I’d made it half way up the stairs before her the door opened. I turned to see her bouncing toward me with a white square in her hand. She came to a stop two feet in front of me and handed me what I now saw to be an envelope. “What is this?”

“An invitation, silly.”

I raised my eyebrow in question. Alice giggled. “To your wedding.”

I was still confused and her thoughts weren’t helping to explain. She was seeing me sitting at my desk writing a letter of some sort. “Why would I need an invitation to my own wedding, Alice?”

She sighed like I was missing something obvious. “It’s not for you.” Seeing I still did not understand, “I saw there was someone you might want to send an invitation to. Someone who’s not on the guest list Bella approved.”

The only person I had thought about sending an invitation to was Jacob Black. I recalled her vision again, me sitting at my desk writing. I tried to see what was in the letter I was composing but she wasn’t allowing me to see that part obviously. I was staring at the envelope I now held in my hands and looked up to find my sister retreating back into her room.

It’s up to you Edward. Good Luck.

Thanks. Just what I needed something else to occupy my thoughts. I turned and finished the climb to my room. Tossing the invitation onto my desk, I opened the drawer and pulled out the books Emmett gave me earlier.

Walking over to my bed I set them in front of me. I didn’t want to look at them but I knew I must. If this helped us then it was worth it, right? Forcing myself to open the first book I took a deep breath to steady myself and then focused on the picture in front of me.

Ok. Not as bad as I’d been expecting. It was a full page drawing of an atomically correct male and female. After being through medical school twice this was nothing new to me. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

I read through the first few pages where it talked about the differences of the male and female anatomy. Again, all things I knew. As I flipped the page to the second chapter I sucked in a deep breath. Staring back at me in bold black and white letters was the word Masturbation. It took everything I had not to close the book.

I didn’t want to read about this. I knew what it was of course. I’d even had the unpleasant experience more than once of walking past the bathroom at school and overhearing, both in thoughts and sound. The fundamentals of male and female stimulation were not unknown to me. Could reading about them in a book give me any more insight into practical application?

I closed my eyes and sighed before turning my focus back to the pages in front of me. They started with male manual stimulation. I quickly skimmed over that. It wasn’t me I was worried about. Just being near Bella made me happier than I ever had a right to be. Our wedding night was for her.

I was a little surprised it took six pages and several photographs to arrive at the female part of the chapter. It started with a review of the female sexual organs and what areas enjoyed stimulation. Flipping the page I swallowed as I came to the first photograph. The woman was completely naked, with her legs spread. I wanted to close my eyes but I forced them to stay open. I’d looked at pictures medically before and I could do that now. I forced myself to concentrate on the words and tried to avoid the pictures.

As I continued to read, I was surprised to find how many women required clitoral stimulation rather than just penetration. This was not a topic we discussed in great detail during my time in medial school. My mind floated to Bella. Has my love ever…? I shook my head. I couldn’t ask her that.

According to the book all women enjoyed stimulation of that area so somehow I was going to have to manage it. I was hoping I would get more practical information I could use as the book continued.

I looked out my window and realized it was close to midnight. Charlie would be asleep and Bella would be expecting me. I tucked the books back into the drawer and my eyes fell to the white paper lying on my desk. Jacob. Figuring a few more minutes wouldn’t matter I quickly sat down and wrote. I understood Bella’s reasoning for not sending the invitation but it had been bothering me. If it were me, I’d want the choice and it was only fair to give Jacob the same consideration.

Sealing the envelope, I made my way downstairs grabbing a stamp on my way out. Running through the woods, I took a quick detour to the post office before making my way to Bella’s.

~

My love was already asleep by the time I came through her window. I didn’t want to disturb her so I took a seat in her rocking chair and settled in to watch her sleep. Her hair was still damp from her shower as it lay on her pillow. I could smell the scent of her shampoo as a light breeze carried it to where I sat. Her heart beat in a steady rhythm as she slept and I let the sound sooth me.

Around two in the morning she began to stir. Her hair was now dry but the breeze and her movement still brought her scent to me. She began to talk. I loved to hear her talk in her sleep. “Edward…” I felt a constriction in my chest every time she said my name.

Her heart rate began to pick up and her breathing quickened. I moved beside her wanting to be where she could see me if she woke. “Mmm.” She arched her back and her hand brushed her face. “Edward, please,” she said on a breath. Her heart rate continued to race and I was beginning to get concerned. What was she dreaming about?

Then she reached out blindly and placed her hand on my chest. “Mmm,” she mumbled again. I stayed perfectly still. She rolled to her side facing me and began to run her hands up and down my chest. The warmth of her hands on my cold body reacted as it always did fanning the flames in my stomach.

She said my name again and inched closer letting one of her hands move down my chest to my stomach. I sucked in my breath. Her scent wafted up with her movement as I finally realized what was happening. Bella was dreaming about being with me. Us. I closed my eyes and reached to stop her hand. She didn’t fight me but what sounded like a frustrated sigh escaped her lips. I felt a tight tug in my chest in response.

I stayed where I was beside her bed until she was sleeping soundly again before moving back to my chair. Luckily the rest of the night my love rested peacefully. Bella didn’t know she’d given me something else to think about but she had. She obviously wanted to touch me but would I be able to allow that? The frustration I felt flowed throughout my entire body. Why did I have to be a monster?